Reading book on BiPolar (BP), Great So Far...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Aug 1, 2007.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I have seen this advertised on the BiPolar (BP) Child website and have had it since it came out last year... finally started it the other day.
    It is amazing... It is, so far focusing on a lot of parenting help. He get's into all of the Sypmtoms and diagnosis, treatments and medications etc. But he has a lot of parenting info so far in the beginning. Very helpful, and a lot of it would apply to all of our kids.


    "Understanding the Mind of Your Bipolar Child" by, Gregory T. Lombardo, M.D.,Ph.D.

    He writes in one section: "Becoming contaminated by your child's rage and acting out her vision of you as horrible confirms her polarized vision of you- and of herself- as either wholly bad or wholly good. She may conform to your limits, but she does so out of a desire to get away from you, the bad parent, and escape from her own bad self, rather than out of a desire to preserve her connection with you.

    Compliance out of fear can't foster empathy or establish a desire to mantain connection with others. Instead, she thinks of wrong as only what she gets punished for. Right on the other hand is what satisfies her and what she gets away with. This externalized sense of right and wrong encourages deception, both of self and others. Compliance driven by fear doesn't deepen intimacy: rather, it leads to an accumulation of rage."

    I found this so true and right on target for all of our kids and it has helped me really focus my energy when I do feel like, YELLING!!! We need to help our kids learn that they can be mad at us yet still love us and I think our kids have a very difficult time with this concept, like a 2yo, how can I love someone I feel so much anger towards??? And still feel safe... He addresses all of this. Good read so far

    And you can get it on AMAZON...
    http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Mind...85998320&sr=8-1
     
  2. jamrobmic

    jamrobmic New Member

    Thank you for posting this. The description of how these kids perceive right and wrong really hit home with me as well, and it explains a lot I don't understand about my son (those "what was he thinking" moments). It also explains why "natural consequences" don't seem to sink in for him. I appreciate the heads up about the book-thanks again.
     
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