sad easy child update

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Aug 4, 2008.

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  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    had an appointment at doctor today, doctor could not detect fetal heartbeat. 2 weeks ago, the heartbeat was found immediately, and was loud, clear and strong. Emergency ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you both.
  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Oh, my...I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to go through. Hugs to you both.

  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    How frightening......hoping for the best and let us know about tomorrow's test results......will keep thinking positive thoughts.....
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2008
  5. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    So sorry.

  6. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I'm sorry, with all she has been through I'm sure you are very concerned, hoping for good news, I will be thinking positive thoughts for easy child and you.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh, no... you all have already been through so much and easy child especially has already endured way more than any expecting mother should ever have to go thru. I'm so sorry, Dreamer. I hope it all turns out well- please keep us posted.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'll say extra special prayers. Keeping bodyparts crossed and send positive mojo.

    Hope the lil bugger just was moving so they couldn't catch him. (happens) been there done that with my easy child such a awful thing for her to have to go thru after all she's already gone thru.

  9. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Last dr appointment the heartbeat was found with no searching at all, loud and clear and very strong.....2 weeks ago. And ultrasound just 2 weeks ago or so was also very good.....
    easy child brought babys daddy with today to hear heartbeat....and --nothing. doctor had her back to me, easy child KNEW right away, said to doctor- my baby is broke off all eye contact, brought in another doppler, teared up and walked out of room. the nurse came to tell us to go have ultrasound, now, but, the ultrasound docs office has is not equipped for type of ultrasound that can be done without drinking, so the nurse had to schedule one elsewhere....
    easy child is certain the baby is gone.....boyfriend is not sure....
    easy child is still haveing hyperemesis....altho she did not lose more weight this week......
    She is very very sad..disappointed.......upset. The whole family here at home is sad.

    easy child fainted at work Sat after being there 10 minutes, it had been her first day back to work.....they sent her home. The customer she was checking out knew her....caught her as she fell.

    It has been hard and scary, and poor easy child said she was getting thru it keeping the reward in mind...the baby at the end of the pregnancy. Now she says "mom, it's unfair to have been SO sick all summer and now this"
    Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts. LOL I told her this was just a terrible way to lose so much weight. She laughed and agreed. She began at 140 pounds and 5 foot 3. in one month she is now down to 112. :-(
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Dreamer. I hope that your daughter will make a quick recovery and become healthy again. She's been so sick. This must be terribly hard on her.
  11. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I'm praying with all of my heart dreamer. Please let her know that there are so many people in her corner right now,

  12. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    So sorry dreamer. Sending prayers your way.
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending prayers for all.
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm so sorry to hear that. Even if it has happened for a reason that's understandable, it doesn't make it any easier to bear in your heart. Sending hugs and prayers to you both...
  15. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    The weather all day has began storming hard in the wee hours before dawn and has not let up except for the short time I walked into and out of courthouse for the court date for PCs offender.and when we walked into and out of docs office. I am very grateful it let up dureing those times.
    difficult children best friend delivered a 2 week posterm baby 6 days ago.....easy child and difficult children other friend today went into labor- she is 30 weeks, but 4 weeks ago her placenta ruptured and she had been helicoptered out of state up north, they brought her back local yesterday.....
    PCs best friends sister delivered 2 months ago......
    another friend has been on strict bedrest now for 6 months and is due soon.....

    I had 14 miscarraiges and did have my 3 kids.......yes, I also had appts where the heart beat was unable to be found.

    easy child had transferred out of the university she was to begin in a couple weeks, and enrolled at our comm college, classes begin next week......when she unenrolled at the uni, they told her if she wanted to change her mind, all she had to do was call- BUT the person who was in charge of her dorm upset her rather, I think easy child is gonna just STAY at comm college for now, anyway, after all.
    I know this might be for best in the big picture.......I know "God has a plan".....I know she is so young........
    But for now, for tonite, this week- whatever-------
    it is hard, it is sad, and we are grieving. Even tho it was a surprise, easy child adjusted quickly to the whole thing......and she was so excited. We all were. Altho yes, we had been so worried becuz of how sick she has been- worried about the baby and yes, also for her- becuz she was truly THAT ill- her life was in danger.

    Remains to be seen, I suppose we will find out tomorrow what docs idea is next..let nature take its course (if nature does) or intervention?
    easy child had no warning signs that the doctor would not be able to hear the heart today, no cramps, no spotting, nothing.BUT an hour ago she ate a waffle-and did not "give it back" Am not sure what this babys purpose was...but, I do believe it HAD a purpose. Maybe easy child was NOT supposed to go to this uni at this time? Who knows? We may never know, but, we assured easy child this is NOT her fault.....and that this tiny life DID have a purpose, even if we never find out what the purpose was.
    Guess I better power off....the thunder is getting very close again. Gosh it sure would be reassureing if..........if.....we could see a rainbow before nite and darkness settle in.

    Poor easy child has not left the bedroom except for appts in a full month------and has not even talked to any of her friends in that time, becuz she was so ill, ANYTHING was overstimulateing to her.........Mostly she has simply lain quietly in the dark. :-( Even she wanted to know how a HEALTHY baby could come from that.
  16. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So sorry..........hugs and prayers being sent both of your way.
  17. barbie

    barbie MOM of 3

    I had two miscarraiges and two stillbirths before I had my three kids. I've had five c-sections, three cervical cerclage, with Eric I was in labor for 11 weeks and was sedated three times and contracted through the sedation. Linda was 35 weeker, Danae was 34 weeks and had to be under an O2 hood for a week was born with pneumonia, Eric was a 33 weeks, I was a gestational diabetic and developed pregnancy induced hypertension (beginning pre-eclampsia). Normal perfect pregnancies happen, but not all the time, just like our Gifts from Gods.

    Sometimes out hearts have to break a little, to be able to make room for what is to come. I'm so sorry that she has to go through this, Im sorry for you as well cause you would take this heartbreak from her if you could, Im sure, unfortunately you can't. Just let her take time and breathe, then get up again and shine. She may not see it now, but there is a lesson.

    by the way. I worked for an OBGYN for three years, learned lots of lessons about what a wonderful, healthy pregnancy is like, and Ive known the absolute heartbreak and desperation of a not so perfect one.
  18. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Oh I so totally understand that- the miracle of birth is huge and the miracle of a "simple" pregnancy...with difficult child I had to have daily blood draws thru the entire preg after fertility treatment.....with son, I had to have daily shots thru preg, and sprained my back mid 2nd trimester....he was a preemie and his labor was hard.

    I had so hoped she would not have to have this kind of heartbreak, you are right, I would go thru it myself for her if I could.....she is my child and I love her and I HATE her haveing to have this......
    I never worked for an ob gyne, I worked Hospice and Alzheimers.....but I am gonna allow all of us to grieve.....and hopefully she can get her health back soon and move forward...with just a lil more life experience under her belt.

    I think I read that 65% of pregs end in miscarriage? and I know from school that it really is a miracle even for an egg to get fertilized.........many miscarry without even knowing they are-were preg.......and I also know that many miscarraiges occur becuz something was wrong.......her ultrasound 2 weeks ago was good...but......something must have happened since then....
    so for now - for a short while, we will grieve for what might have been.....and we will cherish and treasure the gift of life and appreciate the frailty of life. any life, all life.

    I doubt there is gonna be a blessed rainbow tonite, after all, it is now full dark, the t storrms continue and now we have tornado warnings and watches all over.
    While the family here are all normally nite owls, everyone is all tucked in bed already for the nite. Every one of us......Between the storms, heat, and the sadness.....I guess we all seek the comfort and healing power of sleep tonite. sweet dreams. :) thank you for your kind words and for permitting me to chat.
    I had been afraid difficult child would take it very hard..but I think for now she is still stunned. husband surprised me- he is VERY angry at the moment. (at doctor) I hope while he sleeps he calms some.
    I am some sad, some tired, and still worry lingers. I will be keeping an eye on easy child.
    (for weeks- months......)
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I am so sorry, especially after what she has been through.
    I agree, life isn't fair. She deserved better. She's been so sick.
    But, as you pointed out, you had 14 miscarriages and 3 healthy babies, and you are focusing on the 3 healthy births. It's difficult but it can be done.
    What a great mom and mentor you are.

    I hope that as she works through the grief process, she is able to gain some weight, exercise, and heal, emotionally and physically. She is young.
  20. Calgon_Take_Me_Away

    Calgon_Take_Me_Away New Member

    Sorry to hear of your family's loss.

    I've read that 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, but there's many more who don't even know they're pregnant that miscarriage (late periods are easy to think of other causes like stress, illness, etc).

    Allow for time to heal and understanding ~ that was the hardest part for me; my exH's family was very negative and doubted my pregnancy even though I was in the hospital ER and "delivered" my baby into a nurses waiting hand @ 8 weeks. Six months later my OB gave me the all clear and we were pregnant the next month ~ easy child 1.

    (((((((((Hugs to you all)))))))))
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