Sent out the Anti-Christmas invite

[jbrain]

Witz,
just wanted to say that my mom never liked Christmas. Once I was grown up (being the youngest of 3) she quit doing stuff that she didn't want to do. I totally respect her feelings about Christmas and she can do whatever the heck she wants, why should I care now that I'm a grown up? I happen to like Christmas so I do the stuff I want to do. I can't imagine expecting my mom to join in if she doesn't want to. If she is happy doing nothing kudos to her!

I guess I am trying to point out that a "healthy" adult allows their parent to be him or herself and respects their wishes.

Here's to your anti-Christmas and they'd better not ruin it!!

Jane

 

[Mattsmom277]

It makes me sad to see you say "See why I hate Christmas". Do you hate Christmas? Or do you hate the drama and hurt feelings that coincide with it each and every year? For me, I LOVE CHRISTMAS. But I don't like stress, drama, melodrama, hateful people, hurtful people, false cheer visits, forced visits etc. I hated the whole idea of Christmas a good month in advance every year until I reclaimed Christmas. It turns out it WAS just the "idea" of the other stuff that comes with it that made me seem like a Scrooge (and feel like one). Once I reclaimed the holiday to spend how it felt good for me, I realized just how much I do actually adore the holiday. I just happen to like what I like, and others tend to want "more", therefore I let them get on with it, while I get on with it, and alls well that ends well!!

Reclaim Christmas so that next year you can look forward to the season, knowing you are going to feel tranquil and enjoy every second, whatever you plan to do (or not do!).

 

[mstang67chic]

Hang in there Witz. Honestly, you are doing something I have NEVER been able to do....spend a quiet day at hom on Christmas day. This year is looking promising due to scheduling issues (although difficult child will be home ) and I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Personally though, my favorite part of her response was:

Ok, fine, you and Al are making your own plans, but they are not plans that are thoughtful for what anyone else would like to do.

I almost laughed out loud. OMG....as someone else said, your kids are GROWN!!! You're not leaving them out, you're not ignoring them. You, as an adult, are doing what YOU want to do. I'm sorry but are we as parents supposed to be 80 years old fighting crowds to get the best presents for our 50-60 year old kids? Are we supposed to run ourselves ragged even then cooking for a large Christmas party so that we don't "ignore" our children? (Who by that time, are probably grandparents themselves!)

I'm sorry she hurt you with her response but it's her problem, not yours. Enjoy your day. If she deigns to show up, fine. If not, I'm sure things will go smoother that way anyway. Have a good day and enjoy it. Hugs.

 

[KTMom91]

Many hugs. Her response sounds like something my mother would say. Guilt trip with a side helping of martyr complex.Stay strong and have a wonderful day!

 

[witzend]

I have to say that I do hate Christmas. I don't think that there's another holiday anywhere that disappoints people as much as Christmas does, or that people use as a weapon as prolifically and ably as they do this one.

I don't begrudge anyone their happy Christmas, and I hope you all will enjoy yours, whatever it is that you do. I hope that I enjoy mine, too. All I have to do is make it like any other day. TiVo helps. Gets me past all of those sappy commercials...

 

[katya02]

Bravo to you, Witz, for spending the day the way you want. I hate western Christmas myself (bad memories), and for years I did the St. Nicholas Day presents for the kids and then an Orthodox celebration in January. Some of my kids were ok with that and some, not (as I found out when they got older). But you don't have to apologize for not observing, far less for not celebrating 'Xmas' in whatever L thinks is an 'Xmas' way. Enjoy yourself that day - it's one day in the year that you can really spend quietly, without interruptions and demands. Refreshing!

 

[trinityroyal]

Witz, I'm glad that you're sticking to your plan of doing nothing for Christmas.
After all the years of people using Christmas as a weapon to hurt you with, it makes sense that you just don't want to acknowledge the day.