My difficult child has gone to live with her Aunt on her father's side in California. She caught her flight today and just arrived this evening. She was full of tears at leaving and kept telling me how much she loved me. I just didn't have any tears. I felt horrible, but I kept looking at my arm, and it is just so messed up from her. I still had anger, but I also had forgiveness. I miss what kind of relationship, I wished that I could have with her. I miss the good times with her. I did cry when she pulled off with her sister to go to the airport. I cried cause she has to leave, I cried because it shouldn't be this way. I cried because I am thankful for this opportunity for her. I am thankful that I don't have to be scared, or be taunted and cursed at anymore. it hurts that I won't see her much for a long while. it's no joke, sending your kid away, is not easy, but it is the best for both of us. I want to sob outright and I want to know why she couldn't behave with me, if she loved me so much? While our situation is different from what went on when I was a kid. I had a very abusive mother and I wanted to move somewhere but for appearance sake she wouldn't allow it. She needed me there for one thing to take all of her frustrations out on. Many people offered to take me when they saw how she treated me but she wouldn't let me go, and it was awful. Despite all of that I was a loving mother and always tried to be fair with my kids. Now it's time for me to let go, but it's hard she's only 15, and this is not what I expected.