BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Jumper is a social butterfly with more friends than people I've known in my life. I know she's not on drugs or having wild sex...please don't bring that up. It's not happening.
What IS happening is that she is always busy, always going somewhere, but s he doesn't like to bring her friends home and she never does. I know most of her friends from the days when she DID bring them home, but that was over a year ago. Today I had planned the afternoon for her and me to go shopping and eat out. She played a softball game in the morning, rode home with somebody else's family, then, when she got home, announced that she was asked to go tubing with her friend and that she can't go out with me. Can she do it later?
This would be a no-big-deal-typical-teen except that she was gone all three days last weekend (including Friday night) and last night she was at a surprise party for a friend. I told her enough was enough. She had to spend family time with us. She said "no." I said "yes." She stomped upstairs, pouted, and started crying. I took my son shopping and just got home.
She is in her room, cleaning her jungle, and pouting/crying. Please tell me if this is reasonable or something you may do to your fourteen, almost fifteen year old daughter who is basically a easy child.
Me: You can go to T's house, but then she has to spend the same amount of time here. I never see your friends anymore. I don't care if you go, but you have to ask people back here.
Her: I don't like inviting people here.
Me: Why? Are you ashamed of the house?
Her: No, I just don't like to bring people here.
Me: Well, you have to bring your friends here or you can't go with them to their homes.
(Silence)
Me: Is that fair?
Her: Will you please leave me alone? You want me to do something YOU want me to do.
Me: Yes. We all have to do things we don't like to do sometimes. I drive you all over the place. So does Dad. We do it to make your happy, not because we like to drive all over.
Her: Please get out of my room (crying).
I did.
Am I asking too much of somebody her age?
Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with it? Should I just let her spend all her time at other people's houses? I'm not afraid that anything "bad" is going on there. I just think she should allow me to know her friends, just like her friend's parents know her.
Thoughts? Criticisms? Anything? Is s he too old for me to insist on this?
What IS happening is that she is always busy, always going somewhere, but s he doesn't like to bring her friends home and she never does. I know most of her friends from the days when she DID bring them home, but that was over a year ago. Today I had planned the afternoon for her and me to go shopping and eat out. She played a softball game in the morning, rode home with somebody else's family, then, when she got home, announced that she was asked to go tubing with her friend and that she can't go out with me. Can she do it later?
This would be a no-big-deal-typical-teen except that she was gone all three days last weekend (including Friday night) and last night she was at a surprise party for a friend. I told her enough was enough. She had to spend family time with us. She said "no." I said "yes." She stomped upstairs, pouted, and started crying. I took my son shopping and just got home.
She is in her room, cleaning her jungle, and pouting/crying. Please tell me if this is reasonable or something you may do to your fourteen, almost fifteen year old daughter who is basically a easy child.
Me: You can go to T's house, but then she has to spend the same amount of time here. I never see your friends anymore. I don't care if you go, but you have to ask people back here.
Her: I don't like inviting people here.
Me: Why? Are you ashamed of the house?
Her: No, I just don't like to bring people here.
Me: Well, you have to bring your friends here or you can't go with them to their homes.
(Silence)
Me: Is that fair?
Her: Will you please leave me alone? You want me to do something YOU want me to do.
Me: Yes. We all have to do things we don't like to do sometimes. I drive you all over the place. So does Dad. We do it to make your happy, not because we like to drive all over.
Her: Please get out of my room (crying).
I did.
Am I asking too much of somebody her age?
Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with it? Should I just let her spend all her time at other people's houses? I'm not afraid that anything "bad" is going on there. I just think she should allow me to know her friends, just like her friend's parents know her.
Thoughts? Criticisms? Anything? Is s he too old for me to insist on this?