Jess and I were talking and she told me some stuff she remembers about my exsil. VERY disturbing stuff. I am glad she is talking about it so she can work with her therapist to start to heal.
the first was that K (exsil) was there one day when Gpa was watching the kids. We hadn't learned at that time that Gpa used to go take a nap in his room (FAR away from the rest of the house) if he was alone with the kids. We stopped him watching them when we learned this, of course. K came in when he was asleep to do something (probably to search for medications as she was aware I was on pain medications after surgery at the time and I found her going through my stuff around this time). SOmething that J did upset her and she lifted a hand to hit J. Wiz saw her and ran in and twisted her hand and badly bruised it. I remember the badly bruised hand and that she said some kid did it. She would NOT have admitted that Wiz caught her doing something she shouldn't because she was playing "good daughter in law" for my parents at the time and my mom was buying into the act.
Anyway, Wiz told her that if she EVER touched J or T in any harmful way for ANY reason he would break her hand and possibly more than that. I am sure he meant it. At the time I knew SOMETHING had happened but never what.
Also at around the time gfgbro married K I knew something had happened between her and Wiz. NOt something he would talk about and I never asked her because nothing she said would be the truth. Apparently he woke up at night from nightmares that she was coming on to him and touching him sexually. he would go to J at night and talk about it and cry. I suspected that she had done this because of picking up enough to wonder on three different occasions. But I never saw enough and Wiz never told me enough to substantiate my suspicions. It truly bothers me that this happened. I knew she hit on husband and on my father one time each. Each let her know that she was TOTALLY out of line and they would NOT tolerate it if it happened with anyone else, but they didn't know about each other. At the time my mom thought husband was lying about it - now she knows better because too many people have come forward with the same story. I also had a VERY strong feeling she sexually abused her older son and he threatened to kill her if she did it to his little brother. He meant it, of that I am totally sure. It was before I knew him and he was not living with her when I found out - neither boy was. So I could do nothing about it. But he told me too much about things she had done other than that for me to not believe him.
I am not sure how to handle this info. I do want to ask Wiz about if K ever came on to him. I won't say that J told me, just that I picked up on something and have wondered for years. J is okay with me talking to all of you, but not to anyone else but her therapist and husband. I know that husband is going to lose it. He was SOOOOOO UPSET AND FURIOUS when she came on to him, and to know it happened to our son at his young age just truly will upset him.
HOw do I best handle this? I won't keep it a secret from husband, though I may wait to talk to the therapist before I say anything.
the first was that K (exsil) was there one day when Gpa was watching the kids. We hadn't learned at that time that Gpa used to go take a nap in his room (FAR away from the rest of the house) if he was alone with the kids. We stopped him watching them when we learned this, of course. K came in when he was asleep to do something (probably to search for medications as she was aware I was on pain medications after surgery at the time and I found her going through my stuff around this time). SOmething that J did upset her and she lifted a hand to hit J. Wiz saw her and ran in and twisted her hand and badly bruised it. I remember the badly bruised hand and that she said some kid did it. She would NOT have admitted that Wiz caught her doing something she shouldn't because she was playing "good daughter in law" for my parents at the time and my mom was buying into the act.
Anyway, Wiz told her that if she EVER touched J or T in any harmful way for ANY reason he would break her hand and possibly more than that. I am sure he meant it. At the time I knew SOMETHING had happened but never what.
Also at around the time gfgbro married K I knew something had happened between her and Wiz. NOt something he would talk about and I never asked her because nothing she said would be the truth. Apparently he woke up at night from nightmares that she was coming on to him and touching him sexually. he would go to J at night and talk about it and cry. I suspected that she had done this because of picking up enough to wonder on three different occasions. But I never saw enough and Wiz never told me enough to substantiate my suspicions. It truly bothers me that this happened. I knew she hit on husband and on my father one time each. Each let her know that she was TOTALLY out of line and they would NOT tolerate it if it happened with anyone else, but they didn't know about each other. At the time my mom thought husband was lying about it - now she knows better because too many people have come forward with the same story. I also had a VERY strong feeling she sexually abused her older son and he threatened to kill her if she did it to his little brother. He meant it, of that I am totally sure. It was before I knew him and he was not living with her when I found out - neither boy was. So I could do nothing about it. But he told me too much about things she had done other than that for me to not believe him.
I am not sure how to handle this info. I do want to ask Wiz about if K ever came on to him. I won't say that J told me, just that I picked up on something and have wondered for years. J is okay with me talking to all of you, but not to anyone else but her therapist and husband. I know that husband is going to lose it. He was SOOOOOO UPSET AND FURIOUS when she came on to him, and to know it happened to our son at his young age just truly will upset him.
HOw do I best handle this? I won't keep it a secret from husband, though I may wait to talk to the therapist before I say anything.