Sigh... tyring not to get sucked in.....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Dec 6, 2012.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Ugh. It probably doesnt help that my husband is away so he cant listen to all my little introspections and worries!!! Yesterday there was nothing from my difficult child on his FB page....after skyping I felt connected and hoped that although it was hard we would keep a connection. Silly me. So last night finally he posts on his FB page "Reaching out for help and nothing". My heart sank and I thought oh he is really looking for help and not finding it? He is in a place where there are some really good services for homeless youth and he has accessed them and that has given me some hope that he will sort things out somehow.

    So I messaged him "What kind of help are you reaching out for". Definitely leaving myself open and a little nervous what he would then ask me for but gosh I really wanted to know what kind of help he was looking for.

    He did answer me which is good... one word and nothing more. "Food".

    Oh yeah so he is begging on the streets. Ugh. No more connection. nothing. I have a friend where he is that I have told him about.... he can call her and she would take him out for a meal. He is choosing not to do that which is fine and his choice. But he is not completely helpless. I think this is just his way on FB of trying to gather sympathy..... and of course the only one who responds is his mother. LOL.

    It is so sad!!! And I just have to let it be.

  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    (((((HUGS))))) and a can of armor polish.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL....the food stamp dept does help the homeless to get food stamps on an emergency basis, especially in larger cities. There are also soup kitchens all over in cities. I ran away to NYC when I was younger and had to live like he is doing for a short period of time. I went from place to place to eat but never starved. It wasnt always what I wanted most but it was okay. Also the group I was with would scavenge in the dumpsters behind the deli's at night when they had to throw away the stuff they had not sold that day. Things like bread that they couldnt keep or produce that was still perfectly good. We even found baked goods like cookies and cakes. They just bagged it up in clean bags because they knew people would come looking.
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I know he is eating.... he said the other night that there is a place that you can get breakfast I know he has access to food... and he certainly didnt look like he was starving. He tends to be on the thin side and there was a point when he was young and using that I was really worried because he was so thin... but he is not like that now. I think he was looking for sympathy from his friends.... and instead he got me. I was hoping he was looking to change this way of life... but doesnt sound like it.
  5. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    (((HUGS))) I know that excited feeling thinking YES, finally! And then to find out that is not where their heads are at. My husband has been out of town this week, too, so I have been looking at difficult child's cellphone records and see that she couldn't possibly have slept in the past few days. But I know I must stop looking - it doesn't do my heart any good and there is nothing I can do. I have shown her another way to live and they choose differently. I don't understand it but we are powerless to it.

    I agree - he was probably trying to round up difficult child has her page on private so I can't see anything. Probably better that way...

    Go do something for you today!
  6. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest


    I think it is a sympathy ploy. My difficult child asked to get on FB as we were leaving rehab yesterday. Posted about being in jail and the hospital and needing to turn over a new leaf. Duh!

    If he is frustrated with the results of his choices, then that is cause for celebration. Maybe that will motivate him to a better place?

    Sending you hugs and more armor polish as Pasa wisely said.
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hey TL, sorry you are hurting. Yes, detach and back away a bit. {{{{hugs}}}}
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL I am very sorry that your heart is hurting. On some level it makes me angry because it's the same type of thing my difficult child does. He makes it sound like he wants help and no one will give it to him. He really wants something given to him without having to work for it. If he really wanted help he knows where to go for it. Instead he wants food given to him. I'm not saying this to disrespect your son or you and I would say it about my own difficult child. He can find day jobs or go to a temporary agency and go for assistance, but he is without ID because of choices he made and therefore it is difficult for him to get by.

    But they put on fb this stuff that makes people think they are victims, it wasn't foisted upon him, he chose it. I'm curious what friends he hopes see this? He's been transient so long who are these friends he is appealing to on fb? Does he ever get any responses from anyone? It's also curious that he always seems to find some way to post on fb so he is resourceful that is for sure.

    It's very frustrating because the longer they live this way the more worried I get and I'm sure you do, that they will never have the kind of life that will allow them to provide for themselves in an kind of a comfortable manner. The choices they make at some point become their way of life. I doubt whether my difficult child will ever think she has to pay bills or be responsible.
  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member


    I keep your difficult child in my regular prayers.
    Man, I hope he gets it together one of these days and quits living on the street.

    Hugs for you,
  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I am really worried and trying not to panic. The posts on his FB page are scary. He sounds very depressed and like he is cutting or hurting himself. I know he can be the king of drama and hope this is what it is. My friend in ca called me tonight because he was concerned also by the posts. I sent difficult child a message that i loved him and was worried about him. Man i just wish he would go for help....

  11. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I sure wish he would get help, too. That really is scary. Perhaps he may reconsider his choice to be homeless and finally say "no more." (((((Hugs)))))