Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tanya M, Mar 21, 2015.
There can be many more layers to the boundaries we set but I think this is a great place to start.
Love this! I'm still learning to set & maintain them & stop being a doormat!
That's great Sherril. The great thing about boundaries is they can be adjusted as needed, sometimes you need more and sometimes you need less.
You're right but I'm sure right now I need more! My son is still in jail, & I'm hoping he's going to get himself together when he gets out. But I have to remind myself that's his responsibility, not mine. I've laid out the rules he has to abide by if he wants to life here. I refuse to fall back into giving in to his manipulative ways ever again!
I've been where you are. Stay strong and stand firm and you will be fine.
Thank you! I'm learning I have to.
To this, I would add that people who are very healthy seem to have unbreachable boundaries without an iota of guilt.
Not that situations are not complex to them, but that they have an unerring instinct, not for "This is right for me, and I deserve, and you blah, blah, blah.", but for "This is fair."
And I think they never think of it again.
I see that in D H.
That concept of what is "fair" is how he guides himself in all his dealings.
I think that must be what a healthy boundary looks like.
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