Simple definition of what is a boundary

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tanya M, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    There can be many more layers to the boundaries we set but I think this is a great place to start.

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  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Perfect!
     
  3. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Love this! I'm still learning to set & maintain them & stop being a doormat!
     
  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    That's great Sherril. The great thing about boundaries is they can be adjusted as needed, sometimes you need more and sometimes you need less.
     
  5. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    You're right but I'm sure right now I need more! My son is still in jail, & I'm hoping he's going to get himself together when he gets out. But I have to remind myself that's his responsibility, not mine. I've laid out the rules he has to abide by if he wants to life here. I refuse to fall back into giving in to his manipulative ways ever again!
     
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  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I've been where you are. Stay strong and stand firm and you will be fine.
     
  7. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Thank you! I'm learning I have to.
     
  8. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    To this, I would add that people who are very healthy seem to have unbreachable boundaries without an iota of guilt.

    Not that situations are not complex to them, but that they have an unerring instinct, not for "This is right for me, and I deserve, and you blah, blah, blah.", but for "This is fair."

    Simple.

    And I think they never think of it again.

    I see that in D H.

    That concept of what is "fair" is how he guides himself in all his dealings.

    I think that must be what a healthy boundary looks like.

    No blame.

    Cedar
     
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