So.....because of the "antics"...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Dec 3, 2011.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    wm pulled last weekend I have been reported to child protection. wm left bruises on kt's upper arms.

    Geez....

    I'll never be selfish again when it comes to wanting my children with me for holidays. My heart hurts for wm yet I'm so angry I could spit bullets.

    Mental health case manager isn't concerned. He told me he would testify on my behalf if it came to that (doesn't think it will). In the meantime, he & others of the tweedles teams sent emails on my behalf.

    Time for a break from wm.

    Geez....
     
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Do what you gotta do!! See my post on your other thread and don't worry about any fall-out. You've done nothing wrong and your original intentions were far from selfish. That is your guilt talking. You have no reason to feel guilty so stop it!
     
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    What??? Who called them?? What a waste of their resources.
     
  4. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    ((hugs)) You didn't do anything wrong and couldn't have foreseen the events that happened. You are lucky to have a treatment team on your side. I agree with jjj - what a waste of resources.
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ditto the others. Linda, you are one of the most unselfish people I know. Clearly, it is a waste of resources. (((hugs)))
     
  6. Methuselah

    Methuselah New Member

    Oh, Timer Lady. I'm sorry. That is a parent's worst nightmare. Something too many of us with difficult children experience. You didn't do anything wrong, and it will come out in the investigation. The truth will prevail.
     
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    @#$%^&*... UGH!

    Well, I think you'll be fine. You had a plan in place, and you followed it, so you're in the clear.

    :hugs:
     
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs*
    You did what you thought would be good for them, and in the longer run, it will have been good for them - not as siblings, but as individuals.
     
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    who on earth reported it, wasn't it a family event? A teacher reported me once too... when they called and wanted to set a meeting up for a week from then I figured it wasn't too serious. I told them to come right away. He couldn't but came the next day and saw teh scratch on Q's hand that he got from when I had to restrain him. He also saw my black eye from where he threw a book across the room as I was turning and it hit me. (this time he wasn't aiming for me, I was in the path though). It was years ago, he was tiny and we didn't have Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers yet. Only grandma working as a personal support person. She had a huge bite on her arm. It was at a medication time again, he got them increased and we got Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers (They were being arranged before child protection came) and the guy basically said to forget about it. Nothing huge until this medication issue, I was surprised no one called on us when he had that lamictal reaction, but I think enough people saw us and how we were doing perfect CPI holds etc. so .....

    It is a yucky feeling, but nothing will likely happen.
     
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Linda you are the least selfish person I know. You had a plan, you followed the plan. Nothing to feel guilty about.

    Not a darn thing wrong with giving the kids a chance to celebrate a holiday as near close to "normal" as possible.

    Cps needs to go stick their nose in where it will be useful. ugh

    ((hugs))
     
  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh good GRIEF. Really? Do they not have anything better to do? Surely they know they whole situation, and players on the field - so why call CPS? I am SO SO sorry.
    HUGS!!!
     
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thanks ladies.

    Residential Treatment Center (RTC) therapist reported this because kt has bruises on her arms & she confided what had happened. Mandated reporters & such.

    I expect this will quietly go away. CM told me as there hasn't been a hx of violence, neglect or abuse in our home this report should not be high priority. The safety plan in place will play into the report at CPS along with the support of both kt & wm's teams. I'm more angry than anything.

    Thank you again for your kind words.
     
  13. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Linda, this BLOWS! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! CPS has nothing better to do???
     
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda,

    sorry your good intensions have ended in this cr*p...

    Hugs,
    Sharon
     
  15. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Let's see....CPS's job is to determine if a child is being neglected or abused. If they are, they make a plan for treatment for the family. So, if they determine that wm abused kt, what additional treatment will they add....????? (I'm pretty sure wm gets the full works already!)

    This could actually work out to be a positive. (1) it may help with the petition to have wm declared a vulnerable adult (2) maybe kt will truly get why turning 18 doesn't mean she magically gets to see wm safely.
     
  16. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Ugh!! What a pain in the butt!! You're heart was in the right place and this is what you get for it.
     
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Linda, I am sorry that CPS is wasting time on this. Surely the file is thick enough that they can look at it and let it go. If they can't? Well, that isn't your problem. The worst they could really do is to order the tweedles to not have further contact. So just imagine me looking like Bill the Cat from bloom county givng a nice long ppppphhhhhhhhbbbbbbbt and yaking a hairball into their shoes.

    This was about the most UNSELFISH thing I can think of that you have done with/for the tweedles. You KNEW that they would try to reconnect at 18 because they would then be "adults" and "no one can stop us now". You have spent YEARS trying to get the treatment teams, tdocs, psychiatrists, Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers etc etc etc ad nauseum to do this.

    You didn't just selfishly want your family "together" for a holiday. You didn't take them with-o arranging for support and help and for plenty of people to be around who could and would help handle anything that happened. This was NOT treated in any way casually.

    You wanted to see if there were ANY signs that they could have a safe, if not healthy, relationship with each other in a home or anywhere else. You KNOW that there will be those who want to end services at a certain date simply because the tweedles have been on the earth for a certain number of days. You KNEW that it would be a dangerous situation if they were to meet without supports in place. You KNEW that things would likely happen that couldn't be fixed easily, if they could be fixed at all.

    So you took the responsibility and you set things up so that the tweedlees would have a chance to see if it would be safe to have a relationship with each other. when thngs did not turn out the way that we all watned them to, you already had people in place to make sure that the dangers were minimized and no one was seriously hurt.

    I am not minimizing kt's trauma and pain - I know it was awful for her. But it would have been so much more awful if she hadn't had you and all of the family there to help her and to help wm. If nothing else came of this trip, you KNOW that you prevented a much more dangerous and injurious situation from happening when the tweedles decided to meet on their own.

    This trip was so far from selfish on your part. I hope that you will trust us when we tell you this, and that someday you can see how unselfish it was of you. Selfish would have been to ignore the problems of the tweedles and to take them with no notice or support, or it would have been to take both of them home years ago and to enable them and to allow both kt and yourself to be battered women and to allow (yes, ALLOW) wm to behave in ways that would not only hurt him, but also likely cause permanent harm to tohers and to end up with wm being sent to prison for hurting many people.

    You stopped that from happening, even though it took a horrible toll on you.

    I know that you wanted your precious children to be happy and healthy and whole. When you learned that they were not those things, you could have been selfish. You could have sent them back to foster care. You didn't. You were their forever mother, and you still are. Having known you for all these years I know you are not a saint. I am sure that you had a very real, very strong desire and even a NEED for a family holiday with both of your children and with your extended family. Having that desire doesn't make what you did selfish. It makes you a mom. But you are a mom who didn't let your own need for the holiday get in the way of the safety issues before, during and after the trip with your family.
     
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