Tiapet
Old Hand
I know my difficult children are a lot of things and can do a lot of things. Right now I'm so very angry I could spit nails and disappointed too. Hurt. Mr. busy......
I know he has issues, big issues. I know he steals stuff from us like foods he shouldn't have due to his food allergy certain other things around the house like tools even though he has a ton of his own, oldest difficult child tablet at times, the girls bras, etc...but this time...OMG! He has gone overboard and way to far.
He's been wanting a computer. He got a tiny laptop last summer from a garage sale that was useless as it had no hard drive. He got his cell for Christmas but after repeated hacking of the parental controls and not being able to circumvent him from doing it any how we tried we finally just had to take it away. Not only that but he's been repeatedly trying to access Google play to buy games or download games that he shouldn't anyway he can (part of why he keeps stealing difficult child's tablet).
So today I find email alert about bank balance being low on SO account that I know should no way be low. I'm freaking out. I check on it. I find there are transactions that don't make sense and tell him to look (I can't literally look only he can). As I suspected, in the pit of my stomach, mr busy did something. The reason I suspected it was him when they were suspicious is that the other day I found the bank card carelessly loose in a place it shouldn't have been and never is. There is a particular reason I suspected him since he's been doing all the above and wanting games and a laptop.
SO goes to his bank immediately after seeing the pending transactions to NINTENDO and TIGER direct, which immediately confirms MY suspicions. They can put an alert on it and stop but it goes to fraud department and it can take up to 10 days to get money back, if it comes back at all. In the mean time I have to call the companies and speak to them about it. Nintendo is not a friendly company in that respect to trying to get it back. NO money back for virtual content! Tiger direct on the other hand, immediately blocked the purchase (which was a computer) and canceled it out. Good enough. Now we have a canceled card and have to wait for yet another card (big pain to have to reconnect any auto payments connected to them).
This kid left basically nothing in his account! He even attempted another purchase beyond what we found but thankfully there wasn't enough for that one ($517) for a computer before the one he did actually make. So to the tune of $350 this kid fruadulantly charged out on his card! I am angry, upset, and disappointed as first of all I did not think he would do something like this. I know he's capable of a lot of things but not this as he's always made a point of calling his sister out when she stole money that "he would never do something like this" and she only took $20 from my wallet. HE.....went way beyond that! Angry because that's a lot of money and a huge trust to break. It's not like the kid doesn't already get stuff, plenty. He really doesn't lack for anything.
I know he's sort of board and really wants to be doing things, having friends and such and that's where and why this is leading in this direction but we've been trying to help him find success with it. He just lacks the social skills seriously to be able to do it. He acts so inappropriately.
So now I'm sitting here trying to think what more I can and should do. I've already placed the call to the program they just started up here that is similiar to 'scared' straight but it's quite the same to get him in. I had thought about letting him press charges but any of you who have been this route know that it's the parent that it actually comes back on and "we" pay the price, not them in the end. We have to pay the financial price, not them. What is he going to learn by that then? He needs to learn that stealing is not acceptable but how?
He no longer will have his 3ds, hasn't had his phone. This just puts him further into his boredom since he has no friends and no outlet to do anything and so he's going to look for more trouble to get into. ~sigh~
So now I get word that he "attempted" over $2000 worth of charges!! In TN felony is $500 and a federal felony is $1000!!! The bank's fraud department was looking for a police report but apparently this time they didn't "think" they were going to require one. God, I hope not! This is a 14 year old kid with serious mental health issues acting on impulse and I'm SURE does not understand the serious consequences of his actions!
I know he has issues, big issues. I know he steals stuff from us like foods he shouldn't have due to his food allergy certain other things around the house like tools even though he has a ton of his own, oldest difficult child tablet at times, the girls bras, etc...but this time...OMG! He has gone overboard and way to far.
He's been wanting a computer. He got a tiny laptop last summer from a garage sale that was useless as it had no hard drive. He got his cell for Christmas but after repeated hacking of the parental controls and not being able to circumvent him from doing it any how we tried we finally just had to take it away. Not only that but he's been repeatedly trying to access Google play to buy games or download games that he shouldn't anyway he can (part of why he keeps stealing difficult child's tablet).
So today I find email alert about bank balance being low on SO account that I know should no way be low. I'm freaking out. I check on it. I find there are transactions that don't make sense and tell him to look (I can't literally look only he can). As I suspected, in the pit of my stomach, mr busy did something. The reason I suspected it was him when they were suspicious is that the other day I found the bank card carelessly loose in a place it shouldn't have been and never is. There is a particular reason I suspected him since he's been doing all the above and wanting games and a laptop.
SO goes to his bank immediately after seeing the pending transactions to NINTENDO and TIGER direct, which immediately confirms MY suspicions. They can put an alert on it and stop but it goes to fraud department and it can take up to 10 days to get money back, if it comes back at all. In the mean time I have to call the companies and speak to them about it. Nintendo is not a friendly company in that respect to trying to get it back. NO money back for virtual content! Tiger direct on the other hand, immediately blocked the purchase (which was a computer) and canceled it out. Good enough. Now we have a canceled card and have to wait for yet another card (big pain to have to reconnect any auto payments connected to them).
This kid left basically nothing in his account! He even attempted another purchase beyond what we found but thankfully there wasn't enough for that one ($517) for a computer before the one he did actually make. So to the tune of $350 this kid fruadulantly charged out on his card! I am angry, upset, and disappointed as first of all I did not think he would do something like this. I know he's capable of a lot of things but not this as he's always made a point of calling his sister out when she stole money that "he would never do something like this" and she only took $20 from my wallet. HE.....went way beyond that! Angry because that's a lot of money and a huge trust to break. It's not like the kid doesn't already get stuff, plenty. He really doesn't lack for anything.
I know he's sort of board and really wants to be doing things, having friends and such and that's where and why this is leading in this direction but we've been trying to help him find success with it. He just lacks the social skills seriously to be able to do it. He acts so inappropriately.
So now I'm sitting here trying to think what more I can and should do. I've already placed the call to the program they just started up here that is similiar to 'scared' straight but it's quite the same to get him in. I had thought about letting him press charges but any of you who have been this route know that it's the parent that it actually comes back on and "we" pay the price, not them in the end. We have to pay the financial price, not them. What is he going to learn by that then? He needs to learn that stealing is not acceptable but how?
He no longer will have his 3ds, hasn't had his phone. This just puts him further into his boredom since he has no friends and no outlet to do anything and so he's going to look for more trouble to get into. ~sigh~
So now I get word that he "attempted" over $2000 worth of charges!! In TN felony is $500 and a federal felony is $1000!!! The bank's fraud department was looking for a police report but apparently this time they didn't "think" they were going to require one. God, I hope not! This is a 14 year old kid with serious mental health issues acting on impulse and I'm SURE does not understand the serious consequences of his actions!