Some days my job

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Wiped Out, Sep 16, 2010.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    is so draining. I love my job, love the kids, love the school. However, today was one of those days that really has me feeling very sad. One of my students is dealing with such issues that no young person should have to deal with. In turn the student is a real difficult child and has some major stuff going on. Another one of my students is also really struggling with some major issues right now, this student is also a difficult child but much more at home than at school. All of this is heart-wrenching, absolutely heart-wrenching. Sigh...days like this I just want to come home and go to sleep (can't though because, of course, I'm dealing with my own difficult child and easy child/difficult child). In addition, I'm majorly stress eating and getting mad at myself because even as I do it I know what I am doing.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I'm sorry. I can totally see how some kids and their situations would get the better of you some days. I hope tomorrow is a better day. Hugs~
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I, too, can see how this would get to any person. Don't beat yourself for eating a little more than you want some days. We all give into our weaknesses sometimes- the main thing is not to let it get the better of you and just try again tomorrow, then forgive yourself for not being perfect. :)

    As far as these students, you know you can't take more on your plate so if you can point them or their parents (not knowing what would be appropriate in the specific situation) in a direction of someopne who can help, that's probably the best you can do. And sometimes that is worth a great deal, speaking from someone who has spent many hours on end sometimes just wondering where I can get help for something. Then, know you have done all you can- you can always let them know you care and pray (if you choose) for them and let your heart be at rest for simply not having it in your control to do more.

    I hope that didn't sound like a lecture- I just wanted to try to say something that helped you see that you have no reason to feel more weight on your shoulders over this and not to worry more or beat yourself up.
  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    A teacher who is kind to a student who has home issues and struggling will never be forgotten even if they never say thank you. They probably aren't even aware at how important your kindness and acceptance is until they are older. When everything in their life is negative and/or ugly, having the affection and acceptance of a good teacher is an invaluable life saver.
    You can't cure or save them from their situation but you are an island of calm in their horrid lives. You will never know how important this is to their bruised self esteem.
  5. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Kindness from a teacher, simple kindness, can be just as Fran said. Something that will never be forgotten.

    I think from SK through grade 8, all of teachers at my school(s) knew pretty well what was going on in my home with my mentally ill mother, abuse, lack of food, and the eventual cycle through foster homes. No teacher ever came to discuss this stuff with me, they knew I had social workers and counsellors and on and on. And probably they didn't know what if anything they could have done to help anyhow. Although i think all my elementary teachers were really wonderful (I lucked out growing up regarding great schools), a couple stand out. In hindsight I can see they were showing me kindness as their attempt to impact my life. They probably will never know how much they did. I remember a teacher rigged a school raffle so that I'd win (he winked at me when I caught him picking through the slips with names for mine) and he knew it would make a world of difference for me to win the prize (It was free pizza on weekly pizza days, for the entire school year complete with the milk cartons you could buy on pizza day ... and maybe once a week I'd actually have a lunch to bring with me to school, that prize made me relish going to school on Wednesdays and sometimes was the only food I had that day). Another teacher noticed my love for reading, all i was allowed at home for personal property for about a 2 year period was books. To this day I'm a avid reader and my only "neat" skill is that I can speed read which is handy! Anyhow this teacher slipped me a few books throughout the year that he thought I'd enjoy, I read them until they were falling apart. On the final day of school before the summer, he asked me to wait a minute at dismissal. He had an entire set of books for me, all the traditional classics. Brand new in a neat wooden collectors box/bookcase. He told me he'd finished them so was just passing them along to me. But they were new, no bindings broken, never been opened. I didn't realize until I was older how he had gone and spent all that money to ensure I'd have something to keep me busy all summer and to go to the land of fiction as an escape from my home life. That was a summer that I went from being a big reader, to a book worshiper.

    Yet again, another teacher simply always went out of their way when I did something good (a good grade, etc) to ensure I was told she was proud of me and how I applied myself and worked hard and that she believed i'd really be able to accomplish anything I wanted in life with that attitude etc. I would glow with the praise, simple as it was. She knew I wasn't getting it anywhere else, and she made sure I experienced a female role model expressing pride in me and helping me believe in myself.

    Working with kids might even feel thankless at times. I hope that you have a sense of how valuable your role is and the difference you certainly do make.

    (((Hugs))) Thank you for doing what a lot of us couldn't do every day. Chin up and i hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
  6. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    (((((Sharon))))) I know how you feel. I work in a psychiatric hospital (nurse). I have always had a special empathy for the clients and especially their families. It has been really hard for me to go to work since gfg17 had a psychotic break. Fran gave you good advice on being an island of calm in their lives. This was so true for me, in our many experiences in phosps, Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s etc. The staff who took time with us, and gave us kindness and generosity and were good listeners, will never be forgotten by me. There weren't all that many. But without them I would have went down. Anyway I know what it's like to come home from work and just want to sleep. Sometimes I do. As for the stress eating -- I've been reading your posts for a long time and I know you'll be back at the gym or fitness center where you go, getting yourself back into balance. Everyone gets out of balance sometimes. Be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else here. (easier said than done eh? I should know) Jo
  7. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Those are beautiful stories Mattsmom. I love hearing stories about the kindness and generosity of *ordinary* people. They are as inspiring and moving as those of "famously" kind people, maybe more so because of their simplicity, and because I too can aspire to those small kindnesses and not let opportunities slip away. Jo xxoo