TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Tonight husband and I went out for our date night. We ended up at a familiar local Italian restaurant. Right behind us sat a couple and their 2 or 3-yr-old screaming hellion. She was adorable--curly hair, big brown eyes, happy as can be, running circles around the restaurant. At first it was mildly annoying but after a while I couldn't stand it any more. I told husband that this was the kind of behavior I went out to get away from. I told him I'd give them 5 more min. to quiet her down and then I was going to say something. I also suggested moving but he thought the kid's voice would carry to any location. (Like, Mars.)
Neither parent lifted a finger. Clearly, they thought this was normal. I am guilty of doing this to others with-difficult child, but I learned the hard way. I had a woman get up and leave a restaurant because he was so disruptive, and I left, too, in tears, not only because I was ashamed, but frazzled, and because it took us an hr to get our food and we all had low blood sugar. The waitress actually brought the food out to the car, where I sat in tears!
So I decided to make this incident a "teachable moment." I tore two small pieces of paper out of my notebook and grabbed a pen and told the mom that her daughter was being disruptive, and since I wasn an artist, I could help her daughter draw something. The mother was totally shocked.
"You think she's being disruptive?"
(OMG, she was screaming at the top of her lungs and running all over the place. I can't believe she didn't trip a waitress. The parents did not bring a single toy or coloring book and didn't know they were supposed to.)
I said yes, and drawing will calm her down. May I have permission to give her the paper and pen? I smiled but got right in her face so it was clear it was a command, not a request. The mother called her daughter, who sat on her lap.
"Can you draw a flower? A daisy?" The girl nodded eagerly and immediately began to draw. I told her to draw her favorite animal too, and to be sure to sign her name. After a few minutes I showed her how hold the pen properly--she had it almost parallel to the table and was getting frustrated--but the point was, she was an ANGEL.
It was that simple.
Sigh.
I went back to the table and the waitress had cleared it and I thought, oh, husband is upset and leaving and I'm getting a doggy bag. So I told her to dump my wine. She said, "Why? You're just moving to another table."
I am?!
When I sat down, husband said, "I don't know why you bothered with that. They need an entire parenting class."
Must be something the nuns taught me. I dunno. I just hope those parents realize how easy it is to calm a "normal" wild child and maybe they learned something. (Or else they'll never go back to that restaurant again!)
Neither parent lifted a finger. Clearly, they thought this was normal. I am guilty of doing this to others with-difficult child, but I learned the hard way. I had a woman get up and leave a restaurant because he was so disruptive, and I left, too, in tears, not only because I was ashamed, but frazzled, and because it took us an hr to get our food and we all had low blood sugar. The waitress actually brought the food out to the car, where I sat in tears!
So I decided to make this incident a "teachable moment." I tore two small pieces of paper out of my notebook and grabbed a pen and told the mom that her daughter was being disruptive, and since I wasn an artist, I could help her daughter draw something. The mother was totally shocked.
"You think she's being disruptive?"
(OMG, she was screaming at the top of her lungs and running all over the place. I can't believe she didn't trip a waitress. The parents did not bring a single toy or coloring book and didn't know they were supposed to.)
I said yes, and drawing will calm her down. May I have permission to give her the paper and pen? I smiled but got right in her face so it was clear it was a command, not a request. The mother called her daughter, who sat on her lap.
"Can you draw a flower? A daisy?" The girl nodded eagerly and immediately began to draw. I told her to draw her favorite animal too, and to be sure to sign her name. After a few minutes I showed her how hold the pen properly--she had it almost parallel to the table and was getting frustrated--but the point was, she was an ANGEL.
It was that simple.
Sigh.
I went back to the table and the waitress had cleared it and I thought, oh, husband is upset and leaving and I'm getting a doggy bag. So I told her to dump my wine. She said, "Why? You're just moving to another table."
I am?!
When I sat down, husband said, "I don't know why you bothered with that. They need an entire parenting class."
Must be something the nuns taught me. I dunno. I just hope those parents realize how easy it is to calm a "normal" wild child and maybe they learned something. (Or else they'll never go back to that restaurant again!)