Something I wanted to share with you all

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by gottaloveem, Jan 27, 2007.

  1. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Hi
    Usually when I came here with problems in dealing with Alex

    I wanted to share some positive things about my son things that I never shared here before.

    He had a great big heart and was very compassionate. He was very funny, I used to have teachers
    call me ( every year since kindergarten, except his last year at alternative) To tell me something about his behavior, but
    they always told me how nice he was and funny he was and he made the teachers laugh too.

    He was extremely passionate about the things he believed in. He would stand behind it no matter
    what the consequence.( I used to think that would serve him well as an adult) My nephew said
    in a blog "he could talk himself into or out of anything.
    He was extremely bright. One of the social workers guessed his IQ was somewhere around 140.

    One of his favorite things to do was exploring abandonded buildings. We have lots of them in the
    city of Detroit. He would go with a group of "urban explorers" they were all adults. They never
    destroyed buildings but would take photos. Alex has some of the most incredible photos of his
    explorations. I never approved of him going, but he went anyways.

    We have an abandoned mental health facility near our house he went to.
    Again, against my wishes. He knew it like the back of his hand. All of the underground
    tunnels and all of the buildings.On the last day of his life, he was filmed by our local news
    about the dangers of going in this building. He called me while we were out to dinner and
    told me that he was going to be interviewed on fox2 news.
    I told him that wasn't smart as he will be admitting to tresspassing on the news. He said he
    was going to be disguised. He was so excited, probably one of his happiest moments.
    here is the footage of that interview. Filmed about 4-5 hours before he died.




    I found his my space about 2 weeks before he died. If you have a my space account, you
    can log in and read all of the comments left from friends after he died.

    Well I now know that drugs played a big part in the problems we were having with him.
    Drugs like heroin kills a persons spirit.

    I am so glad for any of the kids out there getting it together.

    I feel for any of you parents going through this. Dealing with the mouth, the stealing, the bad friends, the worry
    the uncertainty, and all the other crappy issues that come about due to drug use is just too much for
    a parent to take.

    If I can communicate with any of your kids in any way to help them decide to quit, I would be honored.
    Just e-mail me if you think they may want to talk to me or if I can help you in any way.

    If you are still here, thanks so much for letting me share this with you.

    Lia
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thank you for sharing this intimate glimpse into Alex's life. I wish more drugging teens could read the comments left by his friends, it could be the nudge needed for them to kick. {{{Hugs}}}
     
  3. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Thank you for sharing about Alex. I wish all our kid's would stop long enough to let the reality of drug use sink in.
    Thank you also for offering to talk to them, I hope there is someone ready to listen.
    I pray one day my own son will be ready.
     
  4. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Thanks for sharing all the wonderful things about your precious child. I shared your worry, concern, frustration, and pain. It's nice to be able to share a little joy. I'm so glad and we are so lucky that you continue to be a part of our lives.
     
  5. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Gosh...thanks for sharing. I can't bring myself to read the blogs, but I did watch the video. My heart is with you.

    Abbey
     
  6. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    I thank you for sharing, also.

    Sue
     
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Lia, I'm so flattered that you shared this with us. I simply cannot imagine the agony of your past year. It brought tears to my eyes to read the tributes. It must mean the world to you to know how much Alex was loved and is missed by his friends. Thank you so much.

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I just went onto his myspace and I couldn't continue as I can't see through my tears. I don't know what else to say at this time. I thank you so much for having the courage to share that with all of us. I know I will feel compelled to go back on tomorrow and read further. It's so awesweome to me that he still has people writing to him and I'm sure he can read all those messages from heaven. I always hated myspace, but for some reason seeing it used this way, it just made me feel a little different. God bless you Lia!! I pray I never need the strength that you have had to get through this time in your life. Your son was a very very lucky kid!!!
     
  9. judi

    judi Active Member

    Lia - I truly have no words. You are one of the most gracious and compassionate people I've ever met. In the face of your own grief, you still reach out to others. Thank you so very much. judi
     
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thank you for sharing.

    Hugs
     
  11. TYLERFAN

    TYLERFAN New Member

    Thank You Lia. Your son was a very special human being.
    I am so sorry for your loss......

    I have no words.......

    Blessings,
    Melissa
     
  12. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Lia, I origianally read the post and looked at Alex's Myspace yesterday, I could barely read through my tears. husband asked me a few times last night,"whats wrong? you seem a million miles away" I was... I feel like I was anyway. I thought of Alex all night, I had trouble sleeping, waking up through out the night thinking of Alex.

    Thank you Lia. Thank you for showing me that there is another side to our difficult child's. One of my greatest fears is that I wouldnt have anything to say positive in my sons eulogy if god forbid he should ever need one, believe me there are many times I am positive he will. I fear that because he has burned so many bridges with his drug use and lost so many people in his life that he would not be mourned.

    Alex had so many wonderful friends, that are keeping his spirit alive in their own way. They all have other sides. I know my difficult child's but I wonder if anyone else really knows that deep inside is caring and compassionate and funny and gosh darn smart.

    I want to share the space with my difficult child if that is ok?

    Thank you Lia, you are an inspirtation and a truly amazing person.

    Grace
     
  13. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Thanks for sharing. I thank God everyday that my kids arfe not involved with drugs, and hope that always continues through their adulthood.
    Jen
     
  14. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Yikes Grace, sorry about your disrupted sleep.

    Yes of course share his myspace with-your difficult child. Maybe something will snap into him.

    I think of you often and the struggles you are facing. If your difficult child keeps trying to get better, he will succeed. Tell him I know he can do it.

    Yep, most of the time, we are so mad at our difficult child's we forget what there is to like about them. But we have to be careful not to get caught up in the fantasy of what they could be, but deal with the reality they are living.

    Thanks for sharing with me. I really have been in the mood lately to do that.
     
  15. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Lia, no worries my friend, it wasnt a "bad" disrupted sleep, it was so many thoughts and feelings running through my head, I kept thinking of Alex, now that he has face to me, and WOW that smile, his whole face erupts in happiness when he smiled. And the his friends that are still 9 months later talking to him.

    Thanks again.

    Grace
     
  16. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I went back onto the site late last night while waiting for my easy child daughter to come home from babysitting and most of the comments made me cry. The one from you Lia, letting him know how glad you are to have had a chance to be his mom and hug and kiss him, just hit me so hard. I'm glad you have found this way of communicating your feelings to him and I don't doubt for a minute that he has been able to hear all of these messages from all his friends and family and I'm sure it has made him smile.

    You gave me your cell phone number awhile back and if I thought for a minute my difficult child would actually talk to someone who has experiences what you have, I would give it to him. Maybe someday I will feel he is ready and I will hold onto it until then.

    Thank you so much again for sharing.
     
  17. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    I wanted you to know that I had read about your Alex too, gottaloveem.

    I did not have the courage to go on MySpace.

    Every time I think that I can?

    I just can't do it.

    Barbara
     
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Lia.
    That's heartbreaking.
    Hugs.
     
  19. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Lia, Thank you for sharing this and for all the compassion you continue to show us here on the board. If my difficult child were home I would show him the sites. For now I have to hope that my difficult child is reached in some other way. -RM
     
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