Success Story/Graduation Update

Discussion in 'General Parenting Archives' started by Fran, Jun 4, 2003.

  1. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Hi guys, it has been a week since that day when our cyber community was out of touch.
    Last wednesday, difficult child walked across the stage as one of almost 900 graduating seniors. It was held in the former sports arena. He acted very dignified and serious through out the ceremony and when getting the diploma. As he returned to his seat, he looked up at me with a face cracking grin and gave me a "thumb's up". There wasn't a prouder student,mother,father or aunts and uncles in the whole arena. His smile said it all. It was a gratifying experience.

    Sat. night we had a party. First off it was hot enough to fry eggs. Almost 100 degree's. It was brutal for the first 2 hrs. I also had 5 houseguests at the same time. We were on a heck of a roller coaster.

    difficult child had invited several "mainstream" kids from school. I didn't expect them to come. They all did. I was impressed with their good manners and obvious affection for difficult child. They each told me difficult child was awesome or so nice. The girls were absolute knock outs. I was pretty pleased to see them interact with difficult child. I was impressed with difficult child choice of buddies. He used good judgement in his choice.
    I gave difficult child the "talk" about being the host at his party (no video games, no disappearing, greeting and thanking party goers, offering beverages, chatting with each guest, yada,yada,yada) He grumbled but gosh, he was charming and gracious. /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif :laugh: . Considering how hot it was, I'm amazed. Close to the end, he let loose and was horsing around with the younger kids at their request but he had a great time and we were all very pleased with his behavior and graciousness. Many of the folks from the school district. who treated difficult child with dignity and were kind to him attended and were almost in tears at his progress(some were from a couple of years ago)
    I thanked them for their help. Many want updates.

    difficult child is very affectionate and very articulate about being worried about the next step. He and his brother are enjoying this week of being free from any committments.

    At 13 yrs old, I could only imagine that difficult child would never live on his own. My worst nightmare was me at 70yrs old with my plastic purse walking on the boardwalk in Atlantic City paying for everything and doing everything for difficult child, while my 40yr old son with mismatched,soiled clothes and green teeth walking behind me and yelling about everything I did.
    If he didn't make some leap that was where we were headed.

    You don't have to have the most popular kid, or valedictorian of the class or a top athlete to see success in a child. No one worked harder towards graduation than my difficult child, his school and his parents. It was a monumental moment and a huge milestone. The future is open to all possibilities for him.

    I doubted I would see this day or would be so bitter that it would be empty of joy.
    It wasn't.

    So I'm sorry to say that I couldn't give you an update sooner but cyberworld wasn't cooperating.
    I have been a whirlwind of activities and I'm not letting the site suck the joy out of my days.
    I'm sorry I'm not more efficient with technology. I hope I compensate with honest affection and time and caring.

    So it has been a wild and crazy week in this house. Many hugs to those of you who have sent wonderful greetings and wondered how graduation went. I wish that each of you get to share this moment with your own difficult children.
  2. DeeRW

    DeeRW Active Member

    This was worth the wait! Sitting here with tears in my eyes for your joy. I know how hard you've worked and how far he has come. I never would have thought such a day was possible for your difficult child. I'm so glad.

  3. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I e-mailed difficult child's egbs and received a phone call from one of the staff who worked with difficult child. She asked that I send a long update. She was in tears about difficult child going to the prom and driving. She saw him at his worst and knows where we were heading.
    I sent it and hope it helps some other parent to feel a little tug of hope.
    Thanks Dee for sharing my happiness.
  4. Guest

    Wow! Tears streaming down my face. What an awesome accomplishment for your difficult child and you!!!
    I can only imagine how you felt, seeing him grin at you. Aly "graduated" from Kindergarten on Monday and I felt so proud that she made it through one year of elementary school! I can't imagine how it will feel when she grad. from HS!

    Give your difficult child and yourself a giant hug!!!

    Hugs and smiles,
  5. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Thank aly's mom. When difficult child started K someone asked about graduation ceremony. The teacher said not everyone graduates. husband and I looked at each other and knew our difficult child wasn't going to get through K the first year. We were right! :rolleyes:
    So you are farther ahead than we were.
  6. SassyGirl

    SassyGirl Active Member

    Fran, I just pray that I am in your shoes 5 years from now.

    It has taken so much for you to get to this place (and I don't know the half of it).

    It does show that with the right advocates and support, our children CAN succeed. You and your difficult child will be an inspiration for this board for a long time. Whenever I get down about difficult child, I'll think to myself, "Well, Fran's difficult child did it...and look where he is now!"

    So thank you for sharing this piece of your life and yourself. We are all proud of your difficult child...all of us cyber Aunties! :laugh:

    Many Hugs,
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    The graduation has been on my mind -- thanks for sharing the highlights. I'd still be walking on air.

    Everybody must be so proud. So wonderful that

    Thrilling that he recognizes his accomplishments. And a charming host at his own party to boot!!!!!! Good friends and using good judgement. He's going to do just fine in NY. /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

    I don't know which part is the most touching. Blubber, blubber.... Have mascara under my contacts now -- have to go take them out.

    Big, big hug for difficult child. For Warrior Mom, too! /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
  8. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    difficult child will occasionally ask if I posted something he did that he is proud of to the members. I suspect he enjoys having cyber aunties. He doesn't read the site though.

    I always hope that someone can benefit from our experience. I just didn't know anyone with a kid like mine, nor did the doctors. I can tell you that the spector of a homeless person under a bridge was not out of the question a few years ago.

    Thanks again. I hope you see the same change in your difficult child as he matures.
  9. Kat19136

    Kat19136 Member

    :laugh: Awesome Fran!! :laugh:

    Just so happy for you hear and I don't know most of your story, but from what you have shared, it sounds like an amazing moment, quite full of joyful tears!! I am just beaming here for you and your difficult child!!

    My son does like they cyber aunties too, I am on another board on and when I share his proud moments I make sure I send him their congrats and love, and he acts all silly but I know he loves it!! We actually met a few of my online friends from that board in person, so that give him something to go on too. Hopefully that will happen for us with this board too, in fact I know it will!!

    Congratulations!! Kathy
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congratulations Fran, you got him this far. I know he did it but you were the driving force behind him. I was about to respond to your graduation post last week when the site went down. I am so glad that you were able to enjoy all the things that every parent dreams about for their child. I hope and pray we all get that chance.

  11. Randi

    Randi Member

    *sniff* Pass the tissue would you?

    Thanks for sharing. What a wonderful experience!!

    TYLERFAN New Member

    Congratulations Fran! This gives us hope!
  13. Elise

    Elise Active Member


    I've thought of you and difficult child so frequently with prom, graduation and the party. I got a lump in my throat just reading your post. What a wonderful achievement! How thoughtful of you to include the school district people and keep egbs up to date on difficult child's progress. It gives me hope, Fran.

  14. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

    What a wonderful post to read. It gives me renewed hope in "maybe someday". Hopefully our difficult child will eventually live a "normal" life.

  15. Did-I

    Did-I Worn out warrior

    Having been through two "wasn't sure it was ever going to happen" graduation ceremonies, I can visualize the beaming in difficult child's face and the pride in you and your husband and other family members. Kudos to you for all your persistance and hard work in helping difficult child attain this major goal in his life.

  16. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member


    OK, now that you've done such an awesome job with your difficult child, I'm sending mine down to you. He's only got 11 more years to go. What time can you pick him up at the train station?

    You and your difficult child are an inspiration to us all.

  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    So glad to hear things went well - I would have been a puddle of tears at the thumbs up sign. Shoot, I was a puddle of tears when I finally had Danny's GED certificate in hand /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif Al glad all went without a hitch

  18. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Yikes! another difficult child-no way,Linda. LOL.
    I do seem to be getting some hints from some members of the school district about working on transitions for other kids. Thanks but no thanks.

    In terms of including school district personnel I was selective. There were many folks who couldn't help difficult child to learn or handle himself but they still treated him with respect and dignity and made some small inroads. That has to be such a thankless task.
    Eventually when difficult child was less chaotic he could respond and improve. Sometimes those who tried the hardest didn't see the benefits. I wanted to make sure they knew their efforts were appreciated.

    Thank you all for the good thoughts and support over all these years. I can't imagine not being able to share those bad times and the good times with those of you who understand.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You were among three members who were on the cusp
    of something big when the Board went down. I have
    been eager to read about the graduation and it sounds as though it was even better than I had imagined it to be. :laugh: DDD
  20. Blondie

    Blondie New Member



    I am sitting here with a huge grin on my face, a big lump in my throat and goosebumps on every inch of my arms & shoulders.

    All I can say is...WOW.

    Many hugs,