Suspended on day 2!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dreambeliever82, Aug 28, 2008.

  1. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    Welcome back to school! My son will be serving an In School Suspension on his 3rd day of school, which is tommorow. He stabbed another child in the arm with a pen. He spent the day in the office today and is currently riding home on the bus. I can only hope that he makes it home without hurting anyone.
    I am at my breaking point.
    He is 6~! ***
    WHY???

    I know that I can not take much more of this. I have been going through the motions trying to do the next right thing. Signed him up for Karate yesterday. Read him stories every night. I am ready to give up. And by give up, I mean give him up. I know that would be the worse thing I could do to him and that's why I don't. I am on the verge of losing my job, my mind, and any sense of hope of a happy life.

    He hits because he is angry and doesnt want to do what he's told. He hits even when he is not provoked. He gets so frustrated so easily and can't seem to get out of it. The littlest thing sets him off. He is a loose canyon. He has seen a psychiatrist. We have tried medication, nothing has worked. I have had a ppt, he recieves couseling, we have made behavioral plans. Nothing works, not even for a little while.

    I just got off the phone with the school psychologist and she scheduled another PPT for tommorow. Even they know that things have hit the fan.

    Hope you all are doing better than me.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Have you thought of maybe going to a Psychiatrist to see if you need medications again? Sounds like you yourself are at the end of your rope and may be depressed, which makes it so much harder to deal with our kids.
     
  3. LynnG

    LynnG Guest

    Dream, my heart goes out to you, I faced a very similar situation with my son when he was in kindergarten. Even though my son was diagnosed at three, school was the event that set things in full swing. He is now 15.

    I have no magical thoughts, wands or ideas, I just want you to know, you are not alone. Breathe deep and sending a e-hug your way.
     
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Frustrating puts it mildly. I also agree to get more evaluations to see what is going on with him. He must feel awful and scared also. There may be medications that docs are willing to try now that he is older that they wouldn't give a younger kid?

    You need to focus on taking care of yourself also. Can you take time off of work for just even 1/2 day while difficult child is in school just to pamper yourself?
     
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Dream! Don't feel like a bad parent for wanting to give him away! I've said that I'm taking them to the trade-in center for hamsters. They'll drive you, well, NVTS!

    I'm seriously questioning a simple diagnosis of "odd" for your son. It so rarely stands alone.

    Have you had a neuropsychologist done? Any mental illness in the family tree? Any quirks like tastes, smells, textures, sounds that'll set him off? Does he make friends? Does he get fixated on a particular toy or subject, line up toys, speak like an authority?

    I just think they gave him a diagnosis that was easy to pin and medicate.

    Take care of you. Don't explode when he gets home. Have you read the explosive child by Ross Greene? It might give you a few tricks for how to deal with him, but it'll also give you a little insight to HIS perspective.

    Keep posting...it makes you feel better and it really does help!

    Beth
     
  6. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    so sorry, My heart goes out, and I do understand, I am thankful my difficult child II is in a contained class, and argue with the SE director when they talk of putting him back on mainstream, I am a realist, I love my kid, but it's not a good feeling being on edge that he will hurt someone.

    I would try a new psychiatric, have you had any neurological testing done>? I know the clonodine has helped both my difficult child's from going over that imaginary line, although difficult child II has been close today!

    Prayers and hugs
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I've so been there done that especially when my son was that age only he often received out of school suspensions at the time.
    I agree with further evaluation. When my difficult child was that out of control I was on the phone daily with the psychiatrist-he wanted me to keep calling.

    Does your son have an IEP and a BIP? If not I would seriously be asking the school district about it.

    Gentle hugs.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is it possible that an admission to a psychiatric hospital would help get him under some sort of control? Help the "experts" figure out what is going on?

    ODD so very rarely is its own diagnosis, it almost ALWAYS goes along with something else. Is a medication tweak in order?? NONE of us like to have our kids on medications, but sometimes it is just necessary.
    So very sorry.
     
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Dream,
    Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. There have been days when I wanted to stand by the side of the road and just give my difficult child to a passing driver. You're not alone.

    One thing you might want to do is check out the Special Education forum and archives. There is lots of good advice there about dealing with school issues, navigating the in school supports (IEP, etc.) and just getting through.

    I agree with the others who have recommended a neuropsychologist evaluation for your son AND with those who suggested reading The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.

    Be gentle with yourself. Hugs to you,
    Trinity
     
  10. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    Thank you all for your replys. As I was reading your reply's on Friday at work around 8:30am I recieved a call from the women getting my son on the bus,he was have an extremly violent episode and was attacking her. I had to leave work immedietly and I am now very concerned I may be in trouble at work. I am going to speak with my HR department and try to get some support from them so I do not end up losing my job.

    I called a Mobile Crisis Hotline and had a lady come to my home on friday, by the time she arrived he was calm. It was still helpful to talk to someone. I made an urgent apt with the Psychiatrist and he was put on a much higher dose of abilfy. 10mg a day. The weekend went well and I noticed a difference in his temperment within 24 hours of starting the medications.

    But the anxiety is bad today! (for me) So far it seems he got on the bus with out any problems. Let's hope for a miracle for the rest of the day!

    To answer some of the questions, It took many many months last year but we had a PPT. The result of that was a 504 plan, which I soon learned is pretty much just a plan in "theory". As for this year we have already had a PPT, on day 3 to be exact, and now an IEP is going to be put in place. He is recieving Spec. Ed services and will have someone with him one on one for most of the day. He is getting an evaluation done with the Districts Psychiatrist and will be having other testing done with the Yale Child Study Clininc.

    I am ordering The Explosive Child today, thanks for the suggestions... from the look of the other posts, you guys really do understand. I will keep you all updated and best of luck to all of you!
     
  11. jal

    jal Member

    Dream,

    I have sent you a PM.
     
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Dream, welcome.
    I'm glad you've got a plan in place and people to help you. And a plan in regard to work. They need to know you are having problems and that you are not just blowing them off.
    I agree with-MM, that I would seek help for myself and get back on medications again. It can really take out the rough spots. We need all the help we can get!
    Your son really does sound like he has issues with-transition (getting off the bus) and anxiety. Interesting that the abilify worked so well so quickly.
    You will like the Explosive Child. I guarantee you will see interesting things about your child in it.
     
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