Since I have mentioned this book a few times, I would like to share some things I took from it. I believe the title of the book is an attention getter. The authors are not being negative about this behavior. They are just describing a behavior and offering suggestions. Manipulators do not seem aware of how they operate. This is an avoidance behavior where both the manipulator and the person being manipulated are avoiding something. It takes two to make the behavior work. The manipulator avoids guilt, loss of control, anxiety. The person being manipulated avoids a scene, making the manipulator angry, etc. Reasoning is a common form of manipulation by bright and verbal children and responded to by bright and well educated parents. (we all want our kids to be able to figure things out right?). Some kids do not learn what is non-negotiable (like mine!) and try to negotiate everything (that is manipulation). The manipulator learns what the other person wishes to avoid. They see the world in black and white terms. Manipulators are looking for ways to keep control of their life. They are not being naughty on purpose. They are trying to meet their own needs as they see it. They have a goal that they are going to meet no matter what. The book has a section on how parents are commonly blindsided into participating. A few that were true in my home: Inconvenient times and places - Fear of angrily loosing control - I need to act quickly before getting angry - stop the behavior before it gets me mad Guilt over children's stress - Rationalizing the avoidance - Mine and my child's It provided a method of discipline that may help: Stop the behavior - Stop all action, remove from area if needed Pause - possibly a time out but usually just how ever long it takes for child to calm down and listen Redirect - Restate the behavior you are looking for (you can now do this chore) or suggest another activity or return to what was being done less the undesirable behavior. I know this is not a cure all and is not the best answer for eveyone, however, I have found some success in it for myself so do recommend it as a consideration from time to time. It may help in some moments. I wish I had read it when my kids were a lot younger. I think it would be hard to start implementing for teenagers. Since reading it, I have paid more attention to how my kids argue with me. It really is remarkable as to how they try to rationalize their side and they really do try to change the subject if they don't see me falling into their original plans. My kids don't know what "non-negotiable" means - they think they can get their way if they argue long enough or avoid long enough. Again, don't let the title scare you. I think a better title would be "Becoming the Manipulative Child". I think "manipulation" is used for lack of another term. It is the best way for us to understand this behavior. Not a replacement for other books, just another source to look at in managing our kids. I like that it states that punishment does not work. If you have a child who says, "O.k., I will if ......." or is just outright non-compliant, this may be one source of help for you. Though when my difficult child gets stubborn, even this does not work. It does help during his more compliant days. Not all kids will respond to this or are even in this behavior, but even reading what these authors have to say may give you another viewpoint?