The other MD thread

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by tiredmommy, May 6, 2009.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    This is for everyone that's less than thrilled about the holiday, maybe even dreading it.

    For me, I'm in a funk because I've pretty well distanced myself from my own mother so this year just doesn't feel right. Of course, no mother's day has really ever felt right with her so I guess I should just let it go.
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I've already whined and moaned and carped about Mother's Day on the parallel thread that's been underway in the PE forum.

    I put on a brave smile during the endless party for mother in law, because I don't want to rain on her parade, and she is such a lovely woman. But other than Little easy child (who takes great pains over my MD card and present each year), no one else in the family even bothers to acknowledge that it's a special day for me as well.

    I guess, since no one else in the family has children, they just don't understand.

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Trinity- My mother in law and I have birthdays two days apart so we generally all get together to celebrate. husband wanted mother in law to come to the zoo with us but I explained that I already share my birthday so MD brunch will be mine alone to celebrate with "my" family.
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Gosh, TM, you must be seriously down if you couldn't wait for the annual CD Annual Tears, Jeers, & Grumbles Mother's Day Thread.

    Do you need me to send Chocolate Therapy ASAP?
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    The way I view Mother's Day is that it is a day that I celebrate being a mother. It is my celebration. Even if my children don't acknowledge that, it doesn't take away the right I have to celebrate. (Okay, I'm being a little Pollyanaish here). But, don't let someone else take away the joy you have experienced being a mom. And even with the worst difficult child's there has had to be some joy. I have been a great mom. You have all been great moms. Let's celebrate each other.
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    TM, I totally understand that.

    My birthday generally falls on the same weekend as Canadian Thanksgiving, and for most of my life was either "rolled in" to the Thanksgiving dinner celebration (birthday cake as the other dessert option, for those who didn't want the pumpkin pie), or forgotten altogether in the cooking-and-eating frenzy.

    Honestly, husband spoils me rotten in so many other ways that I can't bear to fuss at him over a lacklustre MD celebration. As for the older children, they are spoiled and entitled, and I tend to shield myself from hurt by not expecting anything from them.

    Little easy child is my joy in all this. He figures that it's his job to look after Mummy. Sadly, he will be doing the rounds with the other relatives this weekend, and won't be with me for MD. (I hate family messes. And family courts. And frog-marching little boys from one home to another to another without any real chance to settle down anywhere)

  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I understand the joint celebration thing as well. My brother is three years, less one day, younger than I am, and every so often a birthday will fall on Thanksgiving. In Hubby's family, there are four of us that have birthdays within 12 days.

    Someone toss a little chocolate my way, too, please!
  9. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I guess I touched on this in the other thread. Mother's day is an awful day for me. I have PTSD about it. I sit here thinking of all the horrid things that have happened and shudder. I know it sounds selfish but I won't even talk to the difficult child's on that day. I can't. difficult child 2 tried to set fire to the house one mother's day. When we went to the fired department and the guy pointed out it wasn't a day to make bad for me...difficult child in all of his way of thinking said I gave her a card first. Shuddering just remembering the look the fireman gave me as he said to take him to the hospital. easy child narrowly missed getting hit by a car one year because we were out. Second exh announced he was leaving me on one one year. First husband was notorious for picking a fight on the first few I was with him. Even through a dustbuster at me the one year.

    The last two have been the best I have ever had. husband and easy child both understand that the day is cursed as far as I am concerned and leave it up to me what happens. Last year except to go to the bathroom I never left the bedroom. I had books and movies. No phone. Only long enough to call my mom did I use one of those.

    The year before I was in Kansas helping after the tornado they had. I was helping other people. I have to say it felt great to be doing that. Very theraputic actually. Many people thanked those of us that were moms for being there instead of with our families. Me I just kept thinking how happy I was being somewhere I was appreciated. I know that isn't fair to easy child and husband but too many other bad things have happened on that particular day.

  10. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    To join in both threads: At least this one won't be like last Mother's Day, where Sis, in a fit of normalness for once, bought Mom an mp3 player, with her own money, as a present. Like, a MONTH'S worth of prep work in this gift.

    And then proceeded to throw an immense meltdown on the actual day itself, told Mom she hated her, that she'd never loved her, threw a few punches my way, threw the mp3 player at Mom's head (even though it was supposed to be a surprise for later), then spent the rest of the day sulking in her room, and occasionally trying to pick another fight. All while grinning evilly and with that nasty "intense amusement/hate" face that our kids tend to get when they're really off the deep end.

    Sigh. Boarding school was the best thing to ever happen to our family.

    To all you Moms: I love ya. Even if you aren't my mom, you're amazing, if for no other reason than you're here on this board. You're helping me, and all of the other moms/dads/sibs on here, yeah? Happy Mother's Day, a little early.
  11. maril

    maril New Member

    mrscatinthehat: I hope this year is the third best you have ever had. I bet you are glad the not-so-good ones are long gone. I can't begin to imagine how awful those days must have been.

    I'm kinda holding tightly to mom this year; seems like we are leaving our past difficulties behind. My dad passed in 08. As well, many other special people in our lives have gone on in recent years. I have a bit of a new perspective on spending time with older family members. :D
  12. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I usually feel a lot of anxiety around this day....mainly, because things are so ugly with Missy around this time of year. So far, so good, though. I think this is the first mother's day in a while that I'm actually looking forward to.

    I took the kids to a ceramics place a couple of weeks ago and had them make flowers with their fingerprints on plate that I had painted the background. I finished it later in the week. I put the three grandma's names (mother in law, my stepmom and my aunt who raised me). I'm looking forward to giving that to them.
  13. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I'm still waiting for my promised breakfast from last mother's day.
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm taking my mom out for champagne lunch at a botanical garden on Sunday. No husband. No kids. It's my mother's day gift to myself (and her) :D

    My first mother's day was horrible. husband dropped the ball big time. He's been trying to make up for it ever since, I think. Some years are better than others.

    If it weren't for me, he'd forget to call his mom or even get her a card. It's the difficult child in him. My kids are all bad about remembering holidays that don't directly affect them. I keep telling myself I'm getting them calendars and having them write down the dates so that they'll remember... next year maybe.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I don't even remember last Mother's Day. Oh, no....wait....something with flowers for the garden is coming to, I think I bought those myself......

    MD is usually pretty good as far as the kid's are concerned. They at least acknowledge the day and attempt a decent gift. (not that the gift part is all that important)

    husband......never. I think once I got a card.......a day late. But then he never does anything for my birthday either.........or xmas unless the kids guilt him into it or he thinks it will get him gifts from me.

    I'm trying to think of something special for mother in law. My mother gets a phone call out of respect for her giving birth to me. Period. My grandma taught me to respect her, she didn't say I had to love her.

    Having my birthday the week before MD sort of makes it hard on the kids, though. Nichole gave me both my birthday and MD gifts at the same time this year.

    If no one makes a big deal out of it.......I make sure I do nothing all day. Just sit, prop my feet up, and take a much needed day off.
  16. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Last year MD was not fun. Both kids were awful and rude to me all day long-no acknowledgment of MD whatsoever. Thankfully husband always tries to make the day special.