Ok - met with program and difficult child yesterday - PO joined in - we all tried convincing difficult child the longer term program is best option now - he refused - we then presented the reality that if he were to come home we would have similar expectations and rules to a program - he f-bombed that so we told him if he cannot accept that home is not an option and he can either pick from the programs we have offered or work with PO and current discharge team to create his own plan that does not include us. Heartbreaking. So now we wait and pray that he sees the light - his PO did warn him that the day he is released he goes to court with a very strict judge who will not be impressed with his defiance. I must stay strong in the face of great fear and sadness. He has no real reason for wanting to be home - just fear really - he kept saying these programs are all so far away and if he leaves he would have nothing and no one - I said that's the point. I know he just doesn't really want to be sober or comply - wants to find a hippie balance lifestyle which he won't be able to. HORRIBLE