There is hope!!!

[everywoman]

For all of you struggling out there. There is hope. Those who remember me---I was katmom when I started, have been everywoman for years, but I don't post a lot these. My son was in awful shape from age 14 to 21. He spent years in and out of jail and psychiatric hospitals. He made life miserable for everyone around him. I sent him to jail several times for stealing and destruction of my home. He was one of the reason my marriage of 23 years failed. I learned detachment and kept my sanity, ex would have none of it and chose to abuse drugs to escape!!!!

I still read and keep up with this group because for years, this was my only salvation. I don't post a lot because I really have no advice for anyone. I think we all walk this walk and hope the end is somewhere in sight. Hope is all you have when faced with a child who is bent to destroy himself.

difficult child has been doing well for several years now. He has not had an arrest in almost 5 years!!! He has held the same job for almost 4 years and has been dating the same girl for almost 5 years. He is nice, polite, well-mannered. He has taken up hunting and fishing and really enjoys his time in the woods and on the water. He is pretty much self-sufficient although occasionally will call for a loan to make it to payday. He is planning to return to school this summer to study wild-life management.

My hope is now that each of you and your children survive this part of your life. But know, that on the other end peace does exist!

 

[ILMS]

Thanks, I needed to hear that today!!

 

[Nancy]

It's very nice to see you and even better to hear your encouraging words. I have to say that I am crossing my fingers that my difficult child is following in your son's footsteps. She will be 22 in two months and I see hopeful signs. She is doing well in her job and is paying her bills on time and is dating a nice guy and I just saw her apartment today and it is relatively clean. I do think she is finally maturing and wants a better life. She had a terribly difficult adolescence just like your son, but signs point to a better way.

I do believe some of our difficult child's outgrow much of their gfgness, I think mine will always struggle and life will not be easy just because of the opportunities lost, but it's a heck of a lot better than it was.

I'm happy for you and hope the good news continues.

 

[toughlovin]

Thanks so much for your post... my difficult child is ok for the moment but I am kind of losing faith so it was good to hear about your son and that he did finally pull it together. Yes there is hope...its just hard to hold onto it sometimes. So thanks for the very good reminder.

*TL

 

[buddy]

What a great update! I'm so happy for your son. How great that he has found life to be so fulfilling!

 

[BusynMember]

Sounds wonderful, like he grew up and is moving away from the bad old days. I love happy stories!

 

[exhausted]

Thank you for sharing. In my heart of hearts i want to believe. And yes, i have hope. When i hear others say we should not have hope, i feel knots inside and wonder if I am nuts? There have been moments as of late where I have said some horrid things to my daughter......4 years of RTCs, phospital stays, counseling, juvenile justice system (yep, had her arrested several times), EMDR and DBT therapy....i am worn out. I have spent 1,000s of hours in FA, DBT family meetings, NAMI meetings, family therapy and she just doesnt seem to show a great desire to heal. She is smart, has a loving family and like Nancy said, will struggle because of all the missed opportunities. Hope she finds a place of peace like your boy has.

 

[in a daze]

Thanks for posting this, Everywoman! Love to hear the stories with the happy endings...