Think of me today!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Nov 14, 2015.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So think of me as we will see our son in a few hours....hopefully he will be in A good place. I am nervous about it and know it could be either great or terrible.
     
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
    • List
  2. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Thinking and praying for you TL.
    Deep breaths and positive thoughts of your strength.
    Be what you need to see in your son.
    (((HUGS)))
    leafy
     
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Sending big, strong hugs your way! I have a good feeling about this, TL. Hang in there.
     
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I will keep my fingers crossed that all goes well.

    ~Kathy
     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sending more good thoughts
     
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hope your visit went well and that your son was in a good place.
     
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hope your visit went well and that your son was in a good place.
     
  8. La Mesa Mom

    La Mesa Mom Member

    Praying! Hoping for you this day. Hugs to the moon and back!
     
  9. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So far so good!! We had a nice visit today....went and saw a movie and dinner and he was very pleasant and nice. He was not antsy or agitated or nasty at all. My gut says he really is sober. So I have some concerns, mostly that he doesn't have a job yet....but I really don't think he is using and that is the most important thing!

    Still the first day so we will see what the next couple of days.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
    • List
  10. Carolita2

    Carolita2 Member

    Thanks for this post. Hope is a good thing....thinking of you and your son.
    Carolita
     
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Ok I am having such mixed feelings. Yesterday he ended up wanting to get together later so we met about 4....we went and played pool (I wasn't sure how he would feel being in a bar but he said it was ok) and then we went to a meeting. It wasn't one of his regular meetings but I was glad he was willing to take us to a meeting....and then he was tired and didn't want to go out to dinner. This was kind of disappointing to me and also typical of him. He was pleasant enough though.

    So the good thing is I don't think he is using and I think he is still serious about recovery. We were able to have a good discussion about money....not manipulative or nasty.

    My worry is he doesn't have a job and I have no idea if he is looking as hard as he says he is. I am not sure how great the sober house is and how well he is doing there....he seems to have backed away from the support of the treatment program that's there and that worries me.

    And although our relationship is better than it was it is far from what I would wish for. I think he has a hard time being with us for long and there is a lot he doesn't share with us. We just have a lot of old baggage. That makes me kind of sad....
     
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    In the process of the past, trust has likely been damaged on both sides. It can be rebuilt, but it takes a lot of time and a lot of safe interaction. You ARE building - one brick at a time. Things are going in a right direction.
     
  13. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So so true!
     
  14. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I'm cautiously optimistic, TL.
     
  15. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Me too....I would feel a whole lot better if he got a job! I am trying to walk that funny line of being supportive but not trying to control things which is hard for me.
     
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ummm.... welcome to the world of parenting adult kids. Even parents of kids without tons of baggage have to walk that line!
     
  17. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL this isn't new behavior on his part. He often wants visits on his terms. For whatever reason he wants to take your company in doses that he can accept. Maybe be has anxiety and needs time to recoup. I don't think it has anything to do with you, I think that is him. But I understand how badly you don't want it to be that way.
     
  18. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    I hope things continue to go well. Hope he gets a job! Best of luck!
     
  19. Carolita2

    Carolita2 Member

    Sending positive and peaceful thoughts,your way..enjoy your special time with your son..Carolita
     
  20. La Mesa Mom

    La Mesa Mom Member

    I am also with you in your journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I too struggle with the "what is next" for our adult children. I know it is hard to be there and not control. Hope in each day!
     
Loading...