Threatening suicide

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by princess, Oct 7, 2012.

  1. princess

    princess New Member

    I have posted here several times and have also read many of your posts and some i have read the difficult child's threaten suicide my 19 year old heavy pot smoker and i am not sure what else he uses has started to threaten this----this morning at 7 am he was to go to work at my friend's restaurant to help with breakfast crowd-i am pretty sure he came home last night stoned and he did not want to go to work my husband and difficult child got into a big arguement and my husband told him he has to move out husband said he was irresponsible and husband and i are tired of his drug use....he then said he would kill himself and he has said this in the past -i am worried about this now-i think my son does have some type of mental health issue going on-he was in counseling but stopped going when his drug friends told him it was all mind games the therapist was using-should i be worried about this now???? I am so stressed with all of this drug use and now this suicide threats-does this ever get any better????
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Princess, I am so sorry you are going through this now. There are many parents here well-versed in substance abuse. I wanted you to know that I read your post, you're not alone, there are a number of parents on this site who face the threat of suicide with their kids. I'm sure you are aware of this, but drug and alcohol abuse can be utilized as a self medicating tool. That is not to sanction that choice, but it is a choice often made.

    The weekends are a bit slow here so hang in there and others will be along, perhaps tomorrow to offer you some counsel, warmth, caring and understanding. We all walk a fine line between detaching and loving, giving and enabling, letting go and connecting, offering help and allowing our difficult child's to find their own way and then there is simply accepting what is. It gets better as we get better at walking that narrow line, finding our own way though this rather dense forest of uncertainty.

    Find support, take care of yourself, read books, get information on the drugs you believe your son is taking, educate yourself, look at options, keep posting here and listen to what others have to say and let go of anything that doesn't fit what you believe. I'm sorry, I know how hard this is, I know how much worry you feel. Take a deep breath..................My prayers and best wishes are coming your way.................(((HUGS))))
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Call the police. When you call, tell them that he is threatning suicide. They can do an emergency 72 hour hold at a mental facility. If these are lame threats, he will learn not to make them. If he is serious, the ball is rolling for mental health treatment.
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it depends on where you live. We have been told by the police who responded to our calls about our difficult child threatening suicide that there was nothing that they could do. Their actual words were: "Threatening to committ suicide is not against the law." They did tell me that I could go to court if I had two witnesses that heard her threaten to hurt herself and get her involuntarily committed. Of course, in three days they would release her and she would do it all over again.

    I wish I could give you advice but in my daughter's case, most of it was just manipulative threats to get us to back off and let her keep doing what she wanted to do. We got to the point where we would just respond that she needed to call her DBT therapist and leave it at that. Of course, in your son's case, there is no therapist.

    However, at some point, you need to stop letting your son emotionally blackmail you which is what they are doing with the suicide threats. Everyone reaches the point where it stops working at different times.

    If your son refuses to follow your house rules and continues to abuse drugs, you are going to have to draw a line in the sand and stick to your guns. You asked if it ever gets better . . . not as long as you are willing to put up with the status quo.

    In the meantime, do your research and look for rehab programs. Many of our difficult child's were willing to finally address their substance abuse issues when they had no place to live and realized that their parents would no longer enable their drug use.

    Will it be easy . . . hell, no. It hasn't been easy for any of us and many (like me) have had their children come and go. My difficult child is currently living with us while in therapy and working. As you know if you have read my threads, the jury is out on whether it is working.

    Last edited: Oct 8, 2012
  5. Zardo

    Zardo Member

    Good advice here so far - I know it probably sounds harsh - but I do think most of those types of threats are manipulation. When our difficult child was at his lowest, we worried about the same. Our counselor advised us to either call 911 and have him taken to the hospital or do 24 hour surveillance (literally) at home if this comes up. We did the at-home route and difficult child hated it - he was not even allowed to be in his room alone or sleep in it alone at night. The counselor called it emotional blackmail, but he also warned that some non-suicidal teens may even act on this threat just to "win" or make their point. When we were in the midst of the battle with him, we did not back off and I accepted that he may even act on a threat to "win", but I was not going to allow that to stop me from doing what I thought was in his best interest. If anything happenned, at least I have the comfort of knowing that we did everything we could think to possibly do.
  6. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    We were told to always call the police if our difficult child was threatening suicide. I always did call them because I was afraid he might just do it.
  7. TMGx

    TMGx New Member

    Hi everyone im new to this, can anyone tell me how to post a comment ? thanks TMGx
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi TMGx,

    This is an old thread. If you would like to start your own thread, just click on the "Post New Thread" at the top of the page in any of the forums. We would love to get to know you.