Things have been going smoothly since difficult child's discharge from psychiatric hospital in late November. Even the holidays went well - and that's saying a lot for difficult child. The last week or so, he has turned, well, obnoxious. I wouldn't say he has been being rude - just obnoxious to the point of frustration. His tone of voice is sarcastic and condescending (sp?) - at home and at collaborative day. I had my appointment with the new psychiatrist yesterday and we talked for almost 2 hours. It was like a soap opera in a way - reliving the past, etc. I laughed some, I cried some - you get the picture. She asked how he had been doing in the past month and I said mostly good. Last night was a page out of the old book, however. difficult child had had a small incident at school which he insisted on talking about with me. I won't get into the details, but it was going okay - we were talking calmly. He said he had argued and yelled at one of the staff and I casually said 'you know that we have been working on expressing your feelings in a positive way and not in a yelling, argumentative, negative way, right?'. He then started using words that are not acceptable in our house - not curse words, just ones that we don't allow - and I calmly said 'I don't like those words' and he said 'yeah, I know, that's why I said it'. I told him he would not be having his 30 minutes of tv after his shower and then he really flipped. Immediately and horribly. He screamed - he ranted - he raved. Then it got really ugly. He began using the old but never forgotten form of hateful talk. The 'you're a good for nothing mom' and 'you never loved me, did you'. I held a stoic face and detached. husband, on the other hand, decided to jump in - only he doesn't handle things in a calm fashion - he yells. He 'escorted' difficult child up to his room and then things got even uglier. Verbally only, but it was not fun. difficult child telling husband he is all sorts of things. husband getting pulled in and responding. easy child in the bathroom crying. husband decided to remove items from difficult child's room (a tactic we've tried before when difficult child was throwing things around) and did so - with difficult child screaming hateful things all the while. difficult child doesn't know when to stop - he just keeps on going with the hurtful statements - and saying 'okay, well, then take this too' and husband gets pulled in and says something like 'fine, I will and I'll take your _____ also'. ETC., ETC., ETC. Long story short (I know - too late for that) - 15 minutes later - I asked difficult child to remain in his room while I go downstairs to talk to husband. And, then it happened. We fought. husband & I really get along fairly well - I can count the number of real arguments we have had on one hand. It boils down to the fact that after all of these years, his frustration over the situation came to a head. He is tired of the stress (join the club, dude), etc. It was a short lived fight, I am happy to report, although we haven't actually "kissed and made up" - we did revert to our own corners and did have a civil discussion before bed, so I guess that's something. I had to remind husband that difficult child is mentally ill - and cannot be held to the same expectations as a typical child. I (gently) said that if he were ill with another disease, he would be given some slack - and difficult child's illness is definitely one where some slack has to be given. While I was downstairs, difficult child decided - still in his rage - that if husband wanted to take his things that he didn't deserve to have anything. He removed all of his blankets, etc. and put them in our guest room. Then, I found when I went back upstairs, he pulled his own mattress out of his room, around a corner and into the guest room!!!! I'm not even sure I could maneuver a twin mattress like that! I was in total shock. I think I still might be, although I have definitely moved on to a sadder state of mind. By this time, difficult child was berating himself for his behavior and wanted to run away and/or sleep on the floor because that's 'what he deserved'. I got difficult child to take his medications and take a shower, while husband and I put his mattress and bedding back in his room. When he got out of the shower, we had a rational discussion at his request, but he doesn't see the severity of this episode or actually of any of the others. Today, I am just discouraged. As we all know, I share husband's frustration and stress level, obviously. And, one particular thing that has always bothered me about difficult child's actions while raging are the negative statements he makes. They are hurtful, but more importantly, I have no idea where he comes up with them. No one speaks to him like that - nor do we speak to each other like that in our household - or anywhere we go. And the sarcasm - jeesh! I will call the psychiatrist today and tell her about the incident. She had instructed me to begin weaning difficult child off the seroquel this morning. I did give him the slightly smaller dose, but wonder if she will continue to go this route or not now. I am afraid a hospitalization may be in our near future again. Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry this has turned into such a long post.