Time to think

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Feb 28, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Well at noon today I have four days off. I have been trying to stay up make dinner so I can eat with difficult child, review homework. I don't know if I will be able to stay up today.
    Wish I had family to talk to. I have two teachers in my family, both who insist you must medicate to teach. Not always the case.
    I am originally from Green Bay, so I live 150 miles away. only one sister lives in town, and being the only one there, she has the responsibility of caring for my mother. Father passed away a few years ago, mother with diabetes just gave up, eventually having a series of severe strokes. it has left her unable to speak, and wheelchair bound. She is in a nursing home, but all medical or financial issues are dealt with by my sister. Feel guilty about that. It is so hard to visit, As my family is 14 - 18 years older than me, I really don't remember living with them. I have a really hard time visiting my mother when she can
    not speak a word. I have wealthy brothers and sisters, and myself struggling financially. medical bills are a real issue. Family would never ever offer help, and I could never ask. They knew we both lost our jobs, they knew what we were going through financially. Don't mean to ramble on. i am leaving in an hour and need time to think. Thank you for all your advice. will think about it considerably. Thank you
     
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    If you look at most of our stories over the months and years, you will see a common thread, a lot of us come from very broken homes. It sucks. The ways we have been treated, abused etc. Our losses are what make us stronger. Our suffering is what makes us able to be compassionate to these children of ours.

    I know it is so hard at times and they drive us crazy and push every button possible. But they are our children and we need to help them...

    When I found myself fighting with husband and yelling at my kids filled with anxiety and not sleeping, I knew I needed to talk to my Doctor. The Zoloft really helps me now, when difficult child is going on and on and on and on and on or up and down all day. Or violent like hitting me in the face or kicking me while punching in the head, I swear now I am able to step back and deal with it in such a more calm and controlled manner.

    Not every sinlge time but I would say 95% of the time. Which is awesome.

    A lot of us are alon here with no family or friends that understand, this is our family.
    Please take care of yourself... for you and your family.
    hugs
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with totoro. Most of us are pretty much alone here in dealing with our kids. I am an only child to older parents. My mom ended up with alzheimers and is now deceased. My dad is in his 80s. My parents were divorced for years before that. I didnt have any support except from their dad. Im so thankful we were in this together.

    I didnt end up getting help for myself until I was 38 and I am still in the process of getting that help for myself. I wish I had started sooner. It would have made things so much better when dealing with the kids. No, it wouldnt have changed THEM but it would have helped ME.

    If I were in your shoes I would be calling every agency that has to do with problem kids you can find. Leave no stone unturned. There are services out there you just have to find them. Knock on doors until someone hears your anguish. Make the school step up to the plate, make the doctors do their jobs. Ignore husband if he isnt a help. Take parenting classes if needed to learn to deal with your son, get therapy for yourself, get on medications if they will help. This is a marathon, it isnt a sprint and you have a while to go until your son is grown. Even at 18 it doesnt mean he will be out of the house. I have two who are still at home over 18. Parenting is a lifetime commitment.

    I arrived at this board completely stressed out and ready to sell my son to the traveling gypsies. He was so out of control he was doing things you dont even want to know about. Some who have been around forever here have said he was one of the more severe cases on here. He was 12. He is now 20 and while he isnt cured or perfect, he isnt the kid he was then.
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kjs,
    I agree with the others. I'm glad you are getting 4 days off. I hope you can use some of the time to recharge and make a plan for getting help for you and your difficult child. Hugs.

    by the way-I'm originally from Green Bay too.
     
  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I really don't have anything to add to the excellent advice you've already been given. I just want to say that I'm also glad you have four days to yourself!!!

    Please post again when you can and let us know how you're doing... I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you... Things will get better!!! I think you are taking a step in the right direction.

    Sending cyber hugs. :flower: WFEN
     
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    During those 4 days don't worry about the homework, housework, feeding people, ect. Take Care Of You!!! I hope you are feeling better soon.
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ditto.
    Welcome.
    And thank you for sharing. Everyone keeps telling me to take a deep breath, so I will pass that thought onto you.
    It really does work, if only for a moment.
     
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