My daughter is 44, has all 4 of my grandchildren(4) and is not a difficult child as we all define one on this forum. I left her father after 41 years of marriage unable to live with what I found out. I gave it two years of thought before leaving. Our 19 year old real difficult child lives with him. I'm now remarried to a high school sweetheart and he's a jewel. He and my difficult child don't see eye to eye because my husband won't let him be rude to me, etc. but this story is more about my daughter this time. She has crushed me so badly that today I was wrapping all their Christmas gifts (yes, I shop early) and I cried all the while. She has barely spoken to me since I left her father 4 years ago. I thought at her age she would understand, now I wish I'd never told her the truth and I never will again. But she says I have "chosen" husband over them.(What..??) We live a thousand miles apart, she will not even speak DHs name, nor ever invite the two of us to see them let alone visit our home. Our rare phone conversations are very strained. I need help detaching...for sure. The holidays are very rough, she mails a Christmas card to me alone, only a gift to me, leaving him out entirely. If only I could detach. If only I could detach. If only I could detach. She has never met husband, nor never spoken TO him or OF him. What is her problem? Help!