Update - ???progress???

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by katya02, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Some good news finally, in that difficult child agreed to go for evaluation when he applied for benefits locally and the intake worker recommended he seek medical MA - so it would be independent of future income. He's been to numerous appointments in the last month and actually agreed to try medications again - a miracle! Unfortunately with the first few days on Abilify and Neurontin he had severe irritability. "I just want to be alone, and if I'm not alone I just want to hit something," is how he describes it. He's afraid to get hyperirritable around his girlfriend and lose her by doing something stupid - good insight, at least.

    His next psychiatrist appointment isn't until late December so I suggested he stop the medications and then restart them one at a time to see which is causing the agitation. Strangely, it seems to be the Abilify. He's going to wash it out and try the Neurontin next to be sure. The psychiatrist wrote him as disabled for a minimum of 12 months, which means the local assistance office will help him apply for SSI. Hooray! It's good for everybody - gets him off the local office's budget, but gets him the SSI as quickly as possible. I'm very thankful for that.

    He's still not practical about housing though - desperately wants to live with girlfriend, but girlfriend is enmeshed with her abusive mother and basically gives her mother her entire income. girlfriend's income is low but makes difficult child ineligible for public housing locally if she lives with him. He says he can't stand living with girlfriend's mother (the three of them share an apartment where only the mother 'officially' lives, as she doesn't want HER benefits cut - she gets SSI and other assistance) but can't think of not being with girlfriend. I could shake him! He could get immediate shared housing while waiting for a place of his own, all through local services. But he panics at the thought of not being with girlfriend when he has panic attacks at night, even though girlfriend works nights. Maybe there's something else going on that I'm missing ...

    So difficult child is getting help, which is great, but is not making great choices with respect to housing. I worry about his status in that household when HE's getting benefits - don't want him to be in trouble if the local office figures out this woman has people living with her and other sources of income (from her daughter - difficult child doesn't have any money to give her). At any rate ... more appointments this week and maybe the counselors will help him see reason. If he gets SSI, does anyone know whether household income matters? Would living with his girlfriend mean he would get less? Thanks.
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I can't answer your questions about SSI and household income, but difficult child 2 reacted the same way to Abilify, as well as a friend of mine.

    I'm glad he's taking steps to get help. I imagine he feels like he can't do it alone and girlfriend seems to be his anchor. Maybe once he gets on the right medications it will be easier for him.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I know SSDI is not based on income, but the person has to have enough work credits to qualify. SSI is income based (to the best of my knowledge) but I don't know how they figure that when the couple is living together and not married.

    Good luck with the medications. I wish they had a more accurate way to decide what medications will work. My husband takes neurontin both for nerve pain and anxiety, but his psychiatrist said it is more effective for anxiety at the higher doses. I think it can be used as a mood stabilizer also.
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Sounds like progress Occupational Therapist (OT) me.
    Not sure how where he might chose to live might influence SSI down the road. They will likely want to know what his rent costs are, etc. You will want to consider being a designated payee so that you are in charge of paying for his needs (at least for the time being; until he matures a bit more).

    There is controversy about neurontin working well as a mood stabilizer; seems the studies were not clear. Has a better track record for helping with nerve pain. That's too bad about the Abilify. It is frustrating how a medication can work well for one person and not for another. Our daughter benefited from it. I recall her doctor put her on Geodon once after having great luck with- another patient and it was a really bad exp. for her...so strange. Often it takes trial and error/experimentation/observation/patience. Sending good thoughts.