worried sick mother
Active Member
I haven't posted since the vacation we had that I had so many problems with my husband not wanting my son to go. Well my son went and we had a wonderful time. My son was a pleasure to be around and my husband was very good to him(I was worried about that). We even had long overdue family photos made which made me so very happy. He really bonded with his younger siblings and they just adore him. It was the first vacation I have enjoyed in many years because I'm always worried about him. He wanted to drink alcohol and he did which really concerned me but he has never liked to drink so he didn't see how this should be a problem . I explained that it could trigger a relapse or he could just convert his addiction to alcohol. He seemed to handle a few drinks well and didn't drink too much. I do not think this was a good idea at all though.
He kept checking out girls while we were there and he told his sister that he wanted to leave his girlfriend but that he felt sorry for her because she doesn't have a car or anywhere to go other than to her mothers house and it's nasty there. We talked quite a bit and he expressed he wants to do more with his life, even implied to me that he wants away from his girlfriend. I ask him if he thought she looks good and he said honestly No. She looks very bad , very thin and just sick, which lead to me asking if she's still using and he won't deny she's using just says not that he knows of. He left a couple days before us to come home and his aunt picked him up at the airport to give him a ride home but he ended up going home with her and staying with her and his dad for the next week. This really surprised me that he stayed away from girlfriend that long, she ended up coming to his dad's house and stayed for one night when she was supposed to stay longer. His dad said she said about 2 words and basically laid in the bed the entire time she was there, he said it was obvious she was withdrawing and that's why she had to leave. My son expressed to his aunt that he wanted to leave his girlfriend. He was with his cousin and met a girl who he liked and I don't know if she shot him down or what happened but he ran back to the girlfriend and now she's the greatest girl in the world. He has very low confidence and everyone in my family has this problem where they think they can't be alone.
I know this sounds like I'm making this all about my son leaving his girlfriend and sounds like I'm blaming her. She is bad for my son and I found out that she did get him using drugs, her mother told me. I'm going somewhere with all of this. My son got a job and he has been working a lot, he has been getting his Vivitrol injections and I know he is not using right now, he ended up with his dad's family for almost 2 weeks and he is working with his best friend who would tell us if he was using, he doesn't use drugs and he told us before when he was concerned about my son using. So week before last my son had worked 56 hours and it was only Thursday so he was very tired , his girlfriend snuck out of the house at 3 am, took his car supposedly to give this guy that my son and her were friends with him and his wife a ride to the store. This guy is a drug dealer. His wife thinks they are messing around and she caught them together and busted the window out of my sons car, the entire back windshield. His best friend that I mentioned called and told his dad what happened, my son lied about what happened to the window but he is now saying that he told his girlfriend to give that guy a ride because he was paying her $15 and that his wife is just crazy. That's a lie his girlfriend snuck out and she is just telling him that, she was friends with his wife they worked together at the job where she got fired. We have been told that she is having sex with this guy for drugs and that his wife has thought this for a long time. They didn't press charges for the window because my son says he is afraid to but there's probably more to it.
I do know this is out of my control and I have to just let him figure things out. However it just absolutely breaks my heart that my son has such low confidence that he would stay with someone who would sneak out of the house and most likely cheat on him with a drug dealer. She is definitely still using and he will be too if something doesn't change. I have begged him to just come home to stay for a while and save some money and try to finish school (he says he wants to finish and had ask me how he could make it happen) so that was my suggestion, he can't finish school when he has so many bills . Like I had said before in my previous post I can't get my son to come home. I also worry that she is going to bring in a disease on him, he doesn't have anything he was tested twice at rehab for everything, I was concerned about hepatitis C because I work in healthcare and most drug users have it . I have been told that this guy carries a loaded gun at all times so the worry just never ends! I guess I really don't have a question today, just needed to vent to people who understand.
He kept checking out girls while we were there and he told his sister that he wanted to leave his girlfriend but that he felt sorry for her because she doesn't have a car or anywhere to go other than to her mothers house and it's nasty there. We talked quite a bit and he expressed he wants to do more with his life, even implied to me that he wants away from his girlfriend. I ask him if he thought she looks good and he said honestly No. She looks very bad , very thin and just sick, which lead to me asking if she's still using and he won't deny she's using just says not that he knows of. He left a couple days before us to come home and his aunt picked him up at the airport to give him a ride home but he ended up going home with her and staying with her and his dad for the next week. This really surprised me that he stayed away from girlfriend that long, she ended up coming to his dad's house and stayed for one night when she was supposed to stay longer. His dad said she said about 2 words and basically laid in the bed the entire time she was there, he said it was obvious she was withdrawing and that's why she had to leave. My son expressed to his aunt that he wanted to leave his girlfriend. He was with his cousin and met a girl who he liked and I don't know if she shot him down or what happened but he ran back to the girlfriend and now she's the greatest girl in the world. He has very low confidence and everyone in my family has this problem where they think they can't be alone.
I know this sounds like I'm making this all about my son leaving his girlfriend and sounds like I'm blaming her. She is bad for my son and I found out that she did get him using drugs, her mother told me. I'm going somewhere with all of this. My son got a job and he has been working a lot, he has been getting his Vivitrol injections and I know he is not using right now, he ended up with his dad's family for almost 2 weeks and he is working with his best friend who would tell us if he was using, he doesn't use drugs and he told us before when he was concerned about my son using. So week before last my son had worked 56 hours and it was only Thursday so he was very tired , his girlfriend snuck out of the house at 3 am, took his car supposedly to give this guy that my son and her were friends with him and his wife a ride to the store. This guy is a drug dealer. His wife thinks they are messing around and she caught them together and busted the window out of my sons car, the entire back windshield. His best friend that I mentioned called and told his dad what happened, my son lied about what happened to the window but he is now saying that he told his girlfriend to give that guy a ride because he was paying her $15 and that his wife is just crazy. That's a lie his girlfriend snuck out and she is just telling him that, she was friends with his wife they worked together at the job where she got fired. We have been told that she is having sex with this guy for drugs and that his wife has thought this for a long time. They didn't press charges for the window because my son says he is afraid to but there's probably more to it.
I do know this is out of my control and I have to just let him figure things out. However it just absolutely breaks my heart that my son has such low confidence that he would stay with someone who would sneak out of the house and most likely cheat on him with a drug dealer. She is definitely still using and he will be too if something doesn't change. I have begged him to just come home to stay for a while and save some money and try to finish school (he says he wants to finish and had ask me how he could make it happen) so that was my suggestion, he can't finish school when he has so many bills . Like I had said before in my previous post I can't get my son to come home. I also worry that she is going to bring in a disease on him, he doesn't have anything he was tested twice at rehab for everything, I was concerned about hepatitis C because I work in healthcare and most drug users have it . I have been told that this guy carries a loaded gun at all times so the worry just never ends! I guess I really don't have a question today, just needed to vent to people who understand.