Things are not going great. husband is blaming me for all of the problems. He thinks I am a horrible person who is selfish and his sister is filling him with her venom. So, I am going this afternoon to look at an apartment in town. I talked to an attorney this morning and got some legal advice (after teaching for 23 years, I have several former students who are now practicing law). I will probably file on the grounds of habitual addiction. I do not need alimony. I don't want the house---it was his when we married, it is on his family land, and I can support myself just fine. I waiver between guilt and sadness and relief that I finally made this choice. Hang in there with me friends---I may need you!