Lost in sadness
Active Member
Thank you all!!
I can honestly say yesterday was the worst day of my life...to memory, and there have been bad ones. I have cried so much I cannot even open my eyes properly today.
I had to help him. I picked him up and took him to get something to eat. Then we did a shop. Then we went and picked clothes up from various addresses. Then I took him to the hostel. I used to work in a homeless hostel and few years back, it was a brand new one so sparkly and clean. This was something I have NEVER seen before. I would not cage an animal in it!! I fought to hold back the tears as I looked and the bare mattress on a metal bed, the drawings over the broken furniture of skeleton men with LSD written all over them. I cleaned the fridge and floor of dirty left over food, the skirting of three inches of dirt, the walls of...god only knows and the old sick off the mattress! It was a disgrace!
It smelt and I hated every moment. We went and bought new bedding and emptied his clothes into the drawers and I couldn't help but notice his arms cut to pieces. I am breaking!
I know its his fault and he is still angry and hurt but this is just awful. The people hanging around just stared at us whilst smoking their joints. Total drop outs. I try not to judge coz deap down my son is the same and he still says all the right things about being better than this.
He stayed at a friends last night, not bearing to be in this place despite the fact I told him about the rules.
This morning I check his email and there is one from the council. It turns out he was actually kicked out of the hotel for not obeying the rules!! The email states that the council no longer have a duty to help him as he was warned about his behavior previously. That they would see if this hostel has a room and that would be it. He is so lucky!!! If not he would be on the streets! If he does not obey here then its the end of the road. I am so angry. Angry that he omitted this information to me. Angry that this is the last run of the ladder and scared for his future if he messes this up.
I have texted him and told him I have read it. Nothing! x
I can honestly say yesterday was the worst day of my life...to memory, and there have been bad ones. I have cried so much I cannot even open my eyes properly today.
I had to help him. I picked him up and took him to get something to eat. Then we did a shop. Then we went and picked clothes up from various addresses. Then I took him to the hostel. I used to work in a homeless hostel and few years back, it was a brand new one so sparkly and clean. This was something I have NEVER seen before. I would not cage an animal in it!! I fought to hold back the tears as I looked and the bare mattress on a metal bed, the drawings over the broken furniture of skeleton men with LSD written all over them. I cleaned the fridge and floor of dirty left over food, the skirting of three inches of dirt, the walls of...god only knows and the old sick off the mattress! It was a disgrace!
It smelt and I hated every moment. We went and bought new bedding and emptied his clothes into the drawers and I couldn't help but notice his arms cut to pieces. I am breaking!
I know its his fault and he is still angry and hurt but this is just awful. The people hanging around just stared at us whilst smoking their joints. Total drop outs. I try not to judge coz deap down my son is the same and he still says all the right things about being better than this.
He stayed at a friends last night, not bearing to be in this place despite the fact I told him about the rules.
This morning I check his email and there is one from the council. It turns out he was actually kicked out of the hotel for not obeying the rules!! The email states that the council no longer have a duty to help him as he was warned about his behavior previously. That they would see if this hostel has a room and that would be it. He is so lucky!!! If not he would be on the streets! If he does not obey here then its the end of the road. I am so angry. Angry that he omitted this information to me. Angry that this is the last run of the ladder and scared for his future if he messes this up.
I have texted him and told him I have read it. Nothing! x