B
bran155
Guest
I believe there are children in the world who by all statistics don't stand a chance. I do blame some parents. When you have a child and choose not to take proper care of that child, don't expect greatness. I also am of the belief that you can be an exceptional parent who ends up with a kid out of control. But I think if you do the best you can with love in your heart and the best interest of you child as a priority then that parent should sleep well at night.
If a child grows up in an abusive household then yes I do blame those parents. If a child grows up in a household without love, yes I blame those parents. If a child grows up in a neglectful household, again, yes I blame those parents. There is no guarantee that those children would have done better had they had better parents, but I blame those parents for not even trying!!! I think it is easy to stray from the straight and narrow when you lack support and guidance. I think there are exceptions to this rule, however. There are extraordinary kids who make it in spite of parents like these. I love to see that. I believe for the most part the people in jails, on the streets, in a gang or heavy into addiction are those of a horrid childhood. I am not saying all of them.
What about the ferrel children? The kids who are locked in filthy room with minimal food and no human contact. They sleep on a hard floor in a dirty diaper, eat scraps, have no love, can't even speak and weigh much less than they are supposed to. When they are rescued, they now have permanent damage, will never live up to their potential. That was taken from them by their parents!!! Whose fault is that??? I fully blame the parents. There was a story similar to this on Oprah last week. So sad. Makes me very angry!!!
Don't get me wrong. We all make plenty of mistakes. We all have done things we wish we could re-do. I know that I would do many things differently with my daughter given the chance. But I don't blame myself because I truly tried my best. My daughter grew up in a loving home with the support of her family. I always have my kids best interest at heart. Did I do everything perfectly - NO!!!! But I don't think any parent does. If your intentions are good, you love your child and make your child a priority then you are doing the best you can. There are so many parents who truly don't care about their kids. Those are the parents that I blame. Not the ones who are trying. Who love their kids, who would go to the ends of the earth for their kids, no matter the outcome, they try. I think we all fall into that catagory. We all found this site for the same reason. We love our kids and need help and support. Hence, good parents. We all have shared stories about how much we have fought to save our children. Hence, good parents. We are GOOD parents. There are so many parents with difficult children who do nothing to help them. Who leave them to their own downfall without trying to intervene.
At the end of the day, as long as I know in my heart that I have done everything within my power for my children, then I did a good job. I do blame my daughter's bio father. He has never been a part of her life. (like so many of us and our kids) My daughter has expressed her sadness and lack of self worth with regards to her fathers lack of love over the years. She has asked me why he doesn't love her. She says her anger comes from her lacking her father's love. She has told every therapist she has ever seen that very same thing. She is angry. I don't blame her. If he played a role in her life I think she would have much better self esteem. I don't blame him for her mental illness but if he had been there for her, who knows how much different her life could have been. Maybe she would love herself a little more, value herself and not look for love with random men. With her being mentally ill, not having her father only compounds her problems. I think anyway.
Just my thoughts.
If a child grows up in an abusive household then yes I do blame those parents. If a child grows up in a household without love, yes I blame those parents. If a child grows up in a neglectful household, again, yes I blame those parents. There is no guarantee that those children would have done better had they had better parents, but I blame those parents for not even trying!!! I think it is easy to stray from the straight and narrow when you lack support and guidance. I think there are exceptions to this rule, however. There are extraordinary kids who make it in spite of parents like these. I love to see that. I believe for the most part the people in jails, on the streets, in a gang or heavy into addiction are those of a horrid childhood. I am not saying all of them.
What about the ferrel children? The kids who are locked in filthy room with minimal food and no human contact. They sleep on a hard floor in a dirty diaper, eat scraps, have no love, can't even speak and weigh much less than they are supposed to. When they are rescued, they now have permanent damage, will never live up to their potential. That was taken from them by their parents!!! Whose fault is that??? I fully blame the parents. There was a story similar to this on Oprah last week. So sad. Makes me very angry!!!
Don't get me wrong. We all make plenty of mistakes. We all have done things we wish we could re-do. I know that I would do many things differently with my daughter given the chance. But I don't blame myself because I truly tried my best. My daughter grew up in a loving home with the support of her family. I always have my kids best interest at heart. Did I do everything perfectly - NO!!!! But I don't think any parent does. If your intentions are good, you love your child and make your child a priority then you are doing the best you can. There are so many parents who truly don't care about their kids. Those are the parents that I blame. Not the ones who are trying. Who love their kids, who would go to the ends of the earth for their kids, no matter the outcome, they try. I think we all fall into that catagory. We all found this site for the same reason. We love our kids and need help and support. Hence, good parents. We all have shared stories about how much we have fought to save our children. Hence, good parents. We are GOOD parents. There are so many parents with difficult children who do nothing to help them. Who leave them to their own downfall without trying to intervene.
At the end of the day, as long as I know in my heart that I have done everything within my power for my children, then I did a good job. I do blame my daughter's bio father. He has never been a part of her life. (like so many of us and our kids) My daughter has expressed her sadness and lack of self worth with regards to her fathers lack of love over the years. She has asked me why he doesn't love her. She says her anger comes from her lacking her father's love. She has told every therapist she has ever seen that very same thing. She is angry. I don't blame her. If he played a role in her life I think she would have much better self esteem. I don't blame him for her mental illness but if he had been there for her, who knows how much different her life could have been. Maybe she would love herself a little more, value herself and not look for love with random men. With her being mentally ill, not having her father only compounds her problems. I think anyway.
Just my thoughts.