We are home from evaluation part 1...worried

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rejectedmom, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Well I picked easy child/difficult child up and asked him how it went and he told me. It seems this psycologist is making a diagnosis of his own even though we already have one by a Psychiatrist. He asked my son all manner of questions that easy child/difficult child answered freely without concern for his privacy or job safety. This is information which by law he does not have to divulge and which I had advised him not to give out or at very least not to emphasise. He told them his birth famly history when I told him to just say that he was adopted and that what little information he has was schechy and unreliable. Instead he told them that he thought that mental illness ran in his family. He told tham about being in alcohol rehab instead of putting the emphisis on the Psyc admit. He told them all the medications he was on from which this guy can now draw conclusions that might not be accurate. UG!

    I just want to shake my son. Why do I even bother???? I now think it is impossible to protect adult Aspies from themselves and consequently from others. They never really learn that people have agendas that might not be in their best intrest. My stomach is in a knot. I know I just have to let what will be, be but this really stinks.
     
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You know, I remember we had an over 18 student who did not understand when people would say things like, I can connect you with x y z service do you want that? and he would sign off NO and then would be SOL for getting services... he did not have the language ability to fully understand (he is deaf/ASL user and also has cognitive and mental health issues) so by not having representation there, and needing TWO interpreters...one typical and one deaf, native asl user who knows him and can re-interpret what the first interpreter said at his level.... they were found to have not followed ADA. so it was written as an ada accommodation anywhere he went...that to maintain his rights, he always needed to have a native asl user who knows him to help represent him. I dont know how far something like that goes. I wonder if you call the disability law advocates around you if you can get a hint of how to protect him from something like that.... It is clear he is at a disadvantage legally during that type of an interview and it is not like it was for therapeutic purposes, so seeing him alone was not right...but I dont know if that means it is not legal.
     
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Depending on the outcome? I'd be looking for disability lawyer.
     
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I do not know either Buddy. When I spoke with ADA advisor last week she said that HR already knew the diagnosis because of the FMLA and short term disability paperwork. So I went on the assumptoin that my son would only be evaluated as to whether he was fit for work and didn't even ask to be in attendance. I doubt I would have been allowed anyway since the employer initiated and pays for this evaluation. The other thing that is scary is that the Co. my son works for is a family owned business. It is one of the founding families of this little city and has much influence in the social and political doings of our community and state. They have a repuation for firing at the drop of a hat. They have never lost a lawsuit over it. Lawyers on staff advising HR and all that. But because of their community influence, I have heard that some of their fired employees have never been able to get another job in this area and have had to relocate to find employment or are homeless and on welfare.

    Insane my son cannot afford a lawyer and he is afraid of going to court anyway. It is too overwhelming for him. So, I doubt he will fight but I will file a complaint with the EEOC if he is not allowed back to work and let them pursue it.
     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    For ordinary folks, yes, it often goes that way.
    But with his disabilities?

    Assuming he does not get to keep his job...
    Not sure if you're prepared to take on the publicity (or if he is...) but... this would be a good one for an investigative reporter. Discrimination against a disabled person is different than getting rid of people you don't like to work with. And Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) has come up so far in public profile (and I'd play up that aspect, not the MH aspect) that there would be implications.

    At least... there would be, here - and we're small enough to have some of the same issues. But the ones that get let go do not have public-profile dxes (downs and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are two of the highest-profile dxes).
     
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry but not really too surprised by the too much information. difficult child#2 talked his way right off disability. He just didn't get that the point was to reup his check and services and went on and on about how he was going to be working for the government as an xyz, how wonderful his friendships were (not) etc. Once he was determined to be "normal" it was basically the beginning of the end. Had I been in the room with him I know he would have made better choices. It is heartbreaking and unsettling to say the least. Hugs DDD
     
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Insane I hear you but as you say likely he isn't up to it.

    DDD, I know they bluster and banter and we can see right through but it is exactly what the interviewer is looking for because bottom line they do not want the expense.

    One good thing did happen today. easy child/difficult child saw his own psychiartist for a medication check and workup and ....drum roll please....OUR psychiatrist GAVE US A FIT FOR WORK LETTER!!!!

    So if the employers guy says easy child/difficult child can't go bacck to work it is gonna get dicy! ADA advisor says then we have a good strong case!!! :)
     
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Now this particular job or not... THAT is really good news. Good for him and he should be really proud of himself.
     
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thanks Buddy. I do worry if they do not let him come back he could go into a depressive state and psychiatrist warned us of that since he was diagnosis'd depressive in addition to all the psycosis. Oh well I am jumping the gun so to speak. I can only be prepared for all scenarios and wait it out. will know more after next weeks meeting with employer's pycologist.
     
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You know, I always look at jobs anyway....lots of people do to keep ahead of the game and see if any opportunities arise. I talk to students and even Q about having a plan b always at the ready because we never know what life will bring. It might help to recover if there is a blow like that. Even under the best of circumstances, losing a job really can make us feel terrible.
     
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I have already started the conversation. I asked him yesterday if he could do anything with his life what would it be. He said a Special Education teacher. I am not sure that is a good fit for him so I asked "then why did you major in economics?" He said because it was part f his transfer plan. (He started in a two year school trandfer program to save money and establish his modifictions and guarantee placement into a four yar school. He is smart and thrifty LOL). Anyway I then said "well how about an Econ teacher at a two year college, would that appeal to you?" He said "yeah sure." It means he would have to go back for his masters but maybe we can find a grant for that. So yes, there is a plan B of sorts.
     
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    OH, bless his heart. I know for sure I had at least two Aspies for college professors ! One was a philosophy teacher and it was very interesting to have a teacher who was really rigid in philosophical thinking... LOL

    Of course at that time I had no idea what the poor eye contact, monotone voice, not really into her appearance, black and white but very knowledgable thinking was. It all came to me after I started working in the real world. She made a big impression on me. I liked her.
     
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