husband is backsliding. Court is on Monday and he spent last night researching his options. Came to bed at 2 am and woke me up and I was annoyed and couldn't get back to sleep and bugged him so he couldn't sleep, so we are really peeved with each other.
Spent all evening looking into options, printed off things that he said really scared him about difficult child being declared a delinquent. I read them and they didn't sound so bad. If he's declared a delinquent they can take custody of him, put him into a treatment/modification plan under CPS/DFC jurisdiction and if difficult child does well, they will wipe his legal slate clean. That's not ruining his future, that's giving difficult child a chance to perform and change and erase his history. I asked husband to show me what in the printout worried him and he snatched it out of my hands and stomped off exasperatedly.
Okay, fine, go before the judge and excuse and beg and promote how pitiful difficult child is with the hopes the judge will release him back to you, the person who let difficult child get to the point he has now a FOURTH felony by age 12 and a half. I don't think the judge is going to do that. But if husband wants to ruin what little credibility he and difficult child have left with the court, go ahead and try. But don't complain when it doesn't work and the judge dismisses you and doesn't factor in your second choice (after releasing difficult child back to his dad's custody which is husband's first choice), of putting him in a short term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Annoy the judge enough and he'll dump difficult child in Juvvy with all the gang members and drug dealers. Yeah, just go ahead and show the judge how clueless you are.
To be fair husband says he doesn't have a strategy and doesn't know what he's going to do on Monday. He says he's just really anxious and wound up about it. I am sorry husband is upset, but let's face it...this is the 4th time this has happened in 2 and a half years. And it's only one more in what is going to be a long, long line of court hearings in difficult child's life. I know it sounds callous and I'm not in charge of anyone else's feelings, but maybe it's time to disengage a bit, this is getting routine, not a crisis. The CPS lady who we found out yesterday will be testifying and advising the judge says husband needs to step back and let difficult child handle the consequences himself. She said that difficult child is a sociopath. She is going to talk to the therapist who I've heard say thinks difficult child should be in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and is very, very disturbed, and to the psychiatrist who thinks (per husband) that difficult child might be getting a bum rush but has rx'ed an antipsychotic anyway. Judges around here rely heavily on these referrals. I know she's going to recommend difficult child be removed from the home.
husband says he's going to talk to her again today.
I'm also annoyed at husband because he was also researching about how to find out who reported him to CPS. If he thinks it's a malicious reporting he can request an investigation and then if the reporter is found to malicious or the report without merit, it can be prosecuted. husband wants to do this. I pointed out that the things the reporter said in their report were true: difficult child is roaming the streets at night, he does steal, he does pour syrup around the room in the middle of the night, daughter has been told not to tell anyone the 'family' business (she was told again just recently since the CPS lady came), she was told not to tell me what difficult child was doing only to tell daddy and she has gotten yelled at when she told dad. difficult child does steal knives and stab things, difficult child does break her toys and throw them away. The reporter was only telling the truth--AND--when the CPS lady has been here we have ADMITTED that difficult child does these things. There may be no truth to the accusation that he is neglectful as in the legal definition, but there's also no doubt that whoever reported it did so because they thought they had important information. The police are not going to punish the reporter. husband is focusing on the wrong thing, here. IF difficult child had behaved himself there would be nothing to report at all.
So he's backsliding. I hope the CPS lady sets him straight today.