went to psychiatrist today...interesting

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Feb 12, 2013.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    first of all it was a really wild psychiatrist appointment. they come in and take my blood pressure and in one arm it was 150/110 which freaked both the nurse and I out so she took it in the other arm and it wasnt much better at 150/100. I really dont know what had my BiPolar (BP) up so badly today but it was. I have noticed it has been creeping up over the past week but it over the past week but it has never been this high in my life. My BiPolar (BP) has always been perfect at 120/70.

    One funny thing was while I was in the office waiting to be seen someone pulled the fire alarm! We all had to go traipsing outside into the cold rainy mist and walk around to the parking lot in that mess to meet up with everyone else so could all co back into our rooms.

    They finally gave me my medications after making sure I would stop at my primary doctor on the way home but told me I was under doctor's orders to tell tony he now has to pick between his alive brother and a very sick or dead wife. My psychiatrist was extremely concerned. She was so worried she almost wanted to put me in the hospital there and then but I told her I wasnt from that city.

    I went to my regular gp and was seen just a few minutes later and my BiPolar (BP) was much lower...130/72. Whew! However, I am not going to tell Tony that. He was very worried when he heard about the high BiPolar (BP) so Im gonna let him think I have it.

    Im gonna let him go on thinking it is a choice between his brother being here and me getting sick and possibly dying because that could possibly be the truth at any time anyway. He needs to worry and stop expecting me to do everything for Buck. I mean why on earth should I be the one to fill out all the paperwork for him anyway? He says he can read and write so do it for heavens sake! I dont give a rat's behind if my handwriting his nicer. I had to fill out all the paperwork for myself when I applied for Social Security, let him do it for himself. Also Tony is still after him to go find work which we are absolutely sure he isnt. He is also after me to get him a birth certificate but I cant do it without a copy of his drivers license and he had the perfect opportunity yesterday. Almost makes me wonder if he went to the appointment. He was supposed to go yesterday to an appointment to be assessed at a mental health center. I know they would have made a copy of his drivers license there just as a routine procedure to make sure of who he was. I told him to ask them to make him another copy for him to bring home to me to send off. He didnt. They would have done it with no problem. He told me he simply forgot because they asked him so many questions and he has two appts to go back...one with the doctor and one with this woman. I do find that interesting. They obviously found something interesting enough that they want to have the doctor see him. That must mean most likely clinically significant and maybe an axis 1 and/or axis 2. Im still going with Dependent Personality Disorder. I have no clue how to work with that.

    All I know is we have to get rid of him before he sucks the life out of us. Or kills me in the process. Just because I have managed to get my BiPolar (BP) down right now doesnt mean it will stay down. Right now Tony is having me stay calm and telling me to do everything I can to remain stress free. He is having Buck not put any salt on foods before we eat them and let me salt my food after I taste it...lol. Good, no more chance of him putting junk into foods.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    hopefully you just had the "white coat syndrome" with the raised BiPolar (BP). They didn't say anything about BiPolar (BP) medications did they?

    Stress is soooooo bad for your body. Your body reacts to stress that same way it reacts to negative eating habits -- raised BiPolar (BP), raised sugar, etc. So not only do you have the additional mental stress side effects of buck, but it also the physical. Time to go.....

  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Sounds like stress of Buck is really doing a number on you and he really needs to get gone. Hope Tony takes this VERY seriously and finally does something about it!
  4. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    "Im gonna let him go on thinking it is a choice between his brother being here and me getting sick and possibly dying because that could possibly be the truth at any time anyway."

    I think it's a shame that the plain unvarnished truth about your BiPolar (BP) doesnt concern Tony as much as a half truth
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    In respect to the job deal ect...........now that reminds me of Katie and M, Katie more so than M as M would at least look for work even if I couldn't get him to change his one track mind off of dishwashing to venture to something else to give him more options.

    I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've heard that girl whining that she lost food stamps or welfare in general because her CW was "mean" or heaven knows what other lame excuse, when upon questioning her (I know how to question her to get the answers I need) it becomes clearly evident she neglected to bother to fill out paperwork and send it in, or call them, or go down to the office. There were many times I nearly pounded my head into the wall, lemme tell you.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon I would have suspected white coat syndrome too but this was my psychiatrist and I have never had it there before and this was just a normal medication refill appointment. And my BiPolar (BP) has been creeping up the past week too. That is not normal for me. I have had excellent BiPolar (BP) my whole life. Even when I had the meningitis it was good. My sugar is good. Its just the last week and yesterday my BiPolar (BP) skyrocketed. Even the day I had all my bottom teeth out it was good! So it all happened in the last 3 weeks. Hmm, what has happened in that time...Buck.

    I go to so many doctor's and if I got white coat syndrome every time I went to a doctor my BiPolar (BP) would stay high...lol. These were all normal docs I wasnt afraid of. In fact, one of them is a urology doctor that I think is the sweetest doctor under the sun. I would have thought my BiPolar (BP) would have been lowest there.

    I am going to see if the people where he went to get the mental health assessment can help him find other housing. They are supposed to help him with case management. Im not entirely sure exactly what all that will entail considering I sincerely doubt he will go to therapy. I think eventually they may also offer something called person centered services but I have no clue what that is. Someone has to help me get him out of here because he cannot stay here until he gets disability and he sure thinks he is going to do that. He has no intention of finding a job.

    You can read his face and tell when he is lying. Tony had told him on Sunday to go to a temp agency yesterday after going to the mental health place. Now we both knew it wouldnt take him more than an hour or two at the mental health place because its the same place I used to go and his appointment was for 12:30 so he would have plenty of time to go to the temp agency after that. He never even told me he went to the temp agency when I got home. I asked him when I got home if he had the people make a copy of his drivers license and he told me no. He never told me he went somewhere else! Heck he could have had it done at the temp agency too.

    Tony even questioned him further about the temp agency because Tony had told him to ask at the temp agency when he applied there explicitly about certain companies that we know are hiring and Buck hemmed and hawed around and said...uhhh, I told them I wanted to apply for any job! So no, we dont think he even went.

    Now after Friday the excuse is going to be he cant go anywhere to apply because his insurance is dead. That is if Tony doesnt pay it for him. I have no clue if Tony will or not...probably will. I would let him drive illegally and get into the same trouble Cory is in. Consequences. Im still trying to figure out where he is getting gas and cigarettes.

    Yeah, which reminds me, I need to go out there and get his rear end in gear to make his 'indian art' so he can sell it and make enough money to apply for public housing.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Janet, I totally agree with-ctmom. You shouldn't have to tell Tony a half truth to get him on board. He's playing with-fire.
    You've got to get Buck out.
    And do something about yourself.
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I had to laugh at the handwriting thing. husband and I used to be Eagle Advancement Chairs in the Boy Scout District at home. We knew a kid's writing when we saw it. We knew a man's writing when we saw it. We also know a mom's writing when we saw it. I in particular was the person who gave approval of Eagle Projects and then scheduled the Eagle Interview. An Eagle Scout should be able to do PLENTY - more than fill out a form. Some of theses kids from a particular group (I won't say "Troop" because that isn't so) would come with beautifully scripted out applications, and I'd ask "who filled out this form?" the very first thing after we sat down. "My mom". Of course I already knew that. I'd send them home and tell me to call me back when everything about their application and project was done by them not their mom, their mom is eligible to become an Eagle Scout.

    No employer is going to look at Buck and see yourhandwriting and think that he wrote it. They're going to toss it in the trash. You know what you have to do, Janet. The same thing we all did for our kids when the time came. Find a list of shelters and give it to him and tell him he's not welcome. I guess in your case it should be give the list to Tony to give to Buck, but I'm not sure. Honestly, Buck triangulates to two of you worse than any difficult child I've ever seen. If he doesn't hear what he wants from you he goes to Tony. If he doesn't get exactly what he wants from Tony he goes to you knowing that you'll blow up and try to fix it. The only way that this is ever going to work is if you and Tony together sit down with Buck and tell him "three's a crowd" and it's time to go. And let him fill out his own ****ed paperwork so that someone will understand exactly how much help he needs.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Exactly witz. But I cant get Tony to understand that. I am a bit disheartened when I talked to Jamie last night and even he didnt stand up for me and told me not to make "us" choose between family. I was aghast. I said Jamie...this is an uncle you barely saw growing up. Once Tony moved out of the house at 18 he didnt see his brothers and sister more than once or twice every two or three years! Even longer sometimes. He has probably seen Buck 10 times in the last 20 years until he moved back up here to us. Its not like with Jamie and his brothers. I dont think my boys can understand that. They think all brothers are the same way. They arent. My boys are close. Yeah Jamie would take in Cory and Billy in a heartbeat. I would take in all the boys in a heartbeat. I think that is where the whole thing gets mishmashed up. I dont think everyone would be all that happy though if we were all together for a year though. Jamie has had Billies brother living with them for most of their married life. The biggest difference though is he lives in their basement, he pays rent, he cooks quite a bit for them, and he doesnt get in their way a whole lot. The guy has his own life. Buck doesnt, he is stuck on us like glue.
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I know for certain how much stress can affect your blood pressure and your health in general! And it's not necessarily "white coat syndrome". This happened to me in the weeks right before and directly after my decision to retire early when things got so bad at work. It was awful there in those last weeks and months and unbelievably stressful. I have always been basically healthy with no physical problems. And I have never EVER had a problem with my blood pressure. But those last years, especially the last few weeks, were horrible. I was having heart palpitations and shortness of breath, aches and pains all over. And I had constant insomnia and never got more than 2 or 3 hours sleep a night, some nights none at all. And I was gobbling OTC antiacids like they were M&M's. On Sunday afternoons it was like a black cloud gathering over my head, knowing I had to go back to "that place" the next morning and sometimes I would get sick to my stomach.

    Here in Tennessee, if you retire or leave State employment for any reason, you get paid for any unused vacation time you have but they keep any unused sick leave and some long-term employees have months and even years of unused sick time built up. I had six weeks of sick leave to use up before I officially retired. So standard practice is to go to a doctor and get an excuse, a slip for "whatever" to allow you to use up those remaining sick days before you turn in your retirement papers ... in my case it was for my arthritic knees that gave me fits from climbing all those stairs at work. The first time I went to the doctor to get a slip for my knees, when I was still working, I was shocked when they told me that my blood pressure was high! I had NEVER in my life had a problem with it! I was NOT a bit nervous because all they did was to check me over and xray my knees. They faxed a slip to our HR office at work for me to be off for 4 weeks, told me to come back in a month, and I never went back to work! Done with that place! Finally! And after a month of being off work and getting away from that constant horrible stress and anxiety, I went back to the doctor to get another slip for the remaining two weeks. And my blood pressure was now perfectly normal! Just like it had always been before! Had I not left when I did, I'm sure it would have kept getting worse and worse until it was bad enough to endanger my health, even my life. In addition, I was sleeping well again, most of the aches and pains were gone, and my stomach problems were so much better, all from getting rid of the stress I had been under. Janet, you just can't keep going on the way you have been! With all your other medical problems, you sure don't need high blood pressure too! Is there any possibility that your doctor could have a talk with Tony, so he can really see what a toll all this nonsense with Buck is taking with your health? It sounds like he is finally starting to see the light, maybe this will be enough to finally push him over that edge.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Donna, I really wish my doctor talking to him would help. Perhaps a real doctor would help rather than simply a therapist...I dont know. He always thought my therapist and I were ganging up on him and I was filling her head up with lies. Maybe he wouldnt believe that of a real doctor but he would probably think I had told any doctor that Buck was there and that was why my blood pressure was high...sigh. Im not sure which doctor I would most want to talk to him...a psychiatrist or my general practioner. On the one hand you would think my psychiatrist would be good but she is so matter of fact about how Buck will simply never leave that I dont know that she is the one who should. Maybe if I keyed her in and told her that she needs to tell him that he needs to make it a choice of my health...both physical and emotional .... or Buck then it would be okay but Im not sure. It may be better for my GP to do it. Though I dont know if it would make a difference at all. Tony thinks I can just "will" myself not to be so stressed. That I am allowing myself to get so upset about all this. That Buck isnt doing anything to me. Well he isnt physically assaulting me but I dont want him there and didnt invite him there and I am unhappy and stressed with him here. Heck, Im stressed out when McKenzie is here for long periods of time!
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    There is a very simple reason Tony doesn't understand why you're so stressed with Buck there, he doesn't have the guy in his face 24/7. Tony goes off to work each day......he gets away from Buck while you're stuck there with him. So of course it's not the same issue with him as it is with you.

    I had this same problem with Fred over Katie. So every one of Fred's days off I made sure to spend the vast majority of the day across the street at bff's house so he got to deal with Katie all by himself. Since it was just the weekends it took a while. But eventually said to me one day," OMG she really doesn't move off the couch all day to do anything does she?? Not even to care for Kayla." Well, duh. Did he think I was just making it up or what? lol geez

    Sometimes words aren't enough, you have to find a way to show them. I dunno how you could do it with Buck, though. Maybe you could think of a way.

    With the way Tony has responded in the past to the psychiatrist or therapist.........I'd have the fam doctor tell him Buck is making you unwell. He's likely to listen more.

  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Janet, it seems, truthfully one of the only answers is for you to move. You have the disability benefits that could get you housing, etc. My first suggestion would be to change the locks, but if Tony and Jamie are not on your side -- than first and foremost you have to take care of you - and that means getting some subsidized housing just for you. When push comes to shove, you can only take care of one person - you. And if you can't do it alone, than you have doctors and tdocs that can help you make the transition.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Steely, obviously you havent read the entire drama because I cant move while owning my trailer and I have looked into subsidized housing locally for low income disabled housing and there is a year waiting list. It is also iffy if I could take my dog. I did see some people with dogs in the low income projects where McKenzie's baby sitter lives so that is a possibility but they were all very small dogs so I have my doubts if my dog would be allowed unless I could get her in under a waiver from a doctor. It would take me so long after transferring title to this home that by the time I did that, hopefully Buck would be a distant memory. I am thinking of doing that anyway as soon as I get the taxes caught up on it. I can put the trailer in Billy's name or Jamie's name just to get it out of mine. The rules on all this stuff are very strict.

    I simply cannot move out and keep getting my same amount of disability check. Its not that easy.
  15. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Just to get him out of there, how about have Tony buy an extra cheap little scrap of a camper for Buck to live somewhere else on the property? Since Tony's giving him $ anyway, it would be cheaper to do this. Or plant the seed that when the weather is nice, he can live in a tent somewhere where you can't see it! Start looking for cheapo tents and campers. He can save his own money from his craft thingamajigs. I just think that even if Tony agrees with haviing him move out, Tony won't know how to go about doing it. Just a thought.