What a week :(

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Jul 11, 2010.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I had a hysterical call Thursday evening from my cousin (more like my sister). Her best friend of 20 years lives directly across the hall from her apartment. This city is so rampant with prescription drug abuse, I know personally of several people who are destroying their lives, including my sister in law. Her best friend has had a serious problem for a long time. It has escalated since her daughter passed away in December in her very early 30's. My cousin and I have spoken often the past few months about her friend. She needed support in staying away from her. She knew she could not help her friend and was terrified of finding her dead one day. She has successfully stayed away from her friend except if they run into each other in elevator etc. Its been hard on my cousin and her friends family.

    On Wed. evening, her friends grandson was visiting her and called his aunt (who he is living with since his mothers death) to pick him up near midnight as his grandmother had passed out in the bathroom for 30 minutes, and when she came out she was out of it. Her daughter picked him up and had some harsh words with her mother. Her parting words were "I'm done".

    The daughter knocked at my cousins door, explained the situation and asked if she could leave her mothers key with my cousin to return to her the next day, as she didn't want to knock on her mothers door again. My cousin never heard from her friend the next day about the key. So Thursday evening she went to her friends apartment and knocked to return the key. She could hear a t.v. through the door, but there was no answer. She has no clue what made her try to door, but it was unlocked. She opened it a crack, called out her friends name and said she was returning the key. No answer. She opened the door further and discovered her friend on the floor. She'd been gone for many hours. It wasn't a pretty sight, it was a overdose and with that comes a sight nobody should see.

    I headed to my cousins and was there into the wee hours as police questioned my cousin and her friends family. As the coroner and whatnot came. As they took out a tupperware container overloaded with prescriptions, all from the same doctor, all current. The list was astounding. Fentanyl patches, dialudid, percocent, 4 anti-anxiety/tranquilizer type medications, anti depressants, sleeping pills, and more. She had no medical condition to get any pain medications. Yet one doctor was prescribing all of this. Ironically, she passed away Wed but had a appointment Thursday where the doctor planned to prescribe oxycontin into her medical mix.

    I'm so sad for this family. For this woman even. For my cousin. I just feel sad :(. I've known this woman for over 15 years. Until 2 years ago when her addictions really grabbed her, she spent every christmas, thanksgiving, easter, etc with our family along with her granddaughter who she raised. She was a honorary member of our family. Was at all our childrens birthday parties. At difficult child's christening.

    When I returned home from my cousins house, I found out my S/O's mother had called. His step dad had a stroke and as of now is not well. hasn't regained conciousness and his paralyzed on the left side of his body.

    This week hoovers :(
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Ugh. I'm so sorry. Sending many hugs to you, SO and your family for both situations.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very tragic-I am so sorry.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I am so sorry! I know you are shaken, and more, that your cousin is shaken.

    I cannot believe that a dr would prescribe so many medications to one person!!! I thought my cousin was bad, but this person was much worse.
    That is so sad.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O this is terrible!

    I am so sorry for you and your friends and family...

    This is so hard on everybody.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    How very sad...
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hoovers is right. I'm so sorry.
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I'm so very sorry.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very sorry. Addiction is an awful tragedy. I hope your cousin and her friend's family will all get some help in dealing with this. At least the grandson wasn't there when it happened.

    That doctor needs to be thoroughly investigated. NO responsible doctor would EVER have a patient on that many pain medications, tranqs, sleeping medications, etc... This doctor she was seeing is little more than a drug dealer who went to medication school.

    Keeping your family in my prayers.
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You are right - an awful week. I am so sorry for you and your cousin to have to have this memory in your brains. It isn't fair what addictions do to those innocent bystanders. She was right to remove herself to avoid just this sort of thing. How is the daughter that said "I'm done" doing?

    Sorry to hear about S/Os stepdad. I hope he will recover enough to live a decent life.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    How is everyone doing today?
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending many prayers for all involved...
  13. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Thank you all for your messages.

    My cousin and her son spent the past two nights here with us. She has gone back home now but the break from that building etc has done her a world of good. We were able to talk here and there about her friend as well, and really discuss how once on that path, nobody could have changed it, sad as that is. I don't want her living with any guilt that is misguided, that she or anybody could have done more.

    The womans daughter is doing allright but I do wonder if she's going purely on adrenaline. Her children have taken it very hard. She had a baby 2 weeks ago, has 3 other children, plus is raising her nephew since her sisters death in December. She has a full plate and is also the one having to clear her moms apartment and plan the funeral etc. She has a support system thankfully but I can't imagine what must be in her mind. She found things in her moms apartment that nobody would want to find. More secrets lurking in cupboards and drawers etc. The building manager didn't arrange a clean up of the spot they found her mom, and she didn't knwo that. So she had already cleaned before anybody knew the error in not having it done. I just cannot for the life of me imagine how she did that herself, even looked at it. :( :(

    Late last night my mother in law called. Her husband has pneumonia now and had another massive stroke yesterday. We told her we will travel to her house tomorrow (earliest we can go) and she said okay but warned that it probably won't be in time to say any final goodbyes. She asked for us to try to track down sister in law, who moved hours and hours away a couple weeks back but hasn't given her mom her new phone number yet. I guess she had called last week so knew things weren't good. But hasn't called her mom back to even inquire how he is doing or how her mom is doing. I sent a facebook message via the kids, and a email to my brother in law, so I hope she calls her mother today.

    We head out tomorrow afternoon, we could be gone a considerable length of time depending on how he is doing etc. I'll pop onto the board when we make it back home.
  14. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Quick update to say that my mother in law just called and her husband has gone into a coma. We are heading out of town tomorrow around lunch time. I feel so bad for her and my S/O and the whole family :(
    My S/O has a huge federal testing thing tomorrow too that he's been studying for now non-stop for 2 months. He is unable to concentrate but must achieve 70% or more. It is a 4-5 hour exam.

    I just feel sad
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry to hear that he has taken a turn for the worse. Prayers going out to you and your family.