pepperidge
New Member
I was looking for an article I had found on Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) that described the more charming parts of my Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) child. Did't find it, but found what is below instead. It does a pretty good job.
I also wanted to emphasize that at some point I think my child might have been diagnosed as BiPolar (BP). But as he grows older it really doesn't fit as a diagnosis. I would worry less about the diagnosis and more about seeing if there is any medications that help, whatever the diagnosis. I think that FA may complicate all the attempts at diagnosis. I was glad to have found a psychiatrist who believed that things like Tenex could have paradoxical reactions and trusted our observations about medications. Focus on the specific behaviors that you are trying to deal with, and don't worry about trying to find the correct diagnostic box to fit them in--or at least in any detail. He probably does have some aspects of ADHD. He probably does have difficulties with emotional regulation which look like mood disorders. He may have anxiety. He may have BiPolar (BP), but he may have lots of issues that look like BiPolar (BP) but have more to do with FA, his earliest years, and other things.
Good luck talking to your docs.
Here's what I found below on the web:
I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing what it is like to live with a child who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Effects. It is not easy.
There are several behavioral issues that are directly associated with fetal alcohol that drive most parents crazy. Even when you understand where these behaviors come from, they are still maddening.
Lack of impulse control Children with fetal alcohol have poor impulse control. If they see something they want, they take it. Before or after the event they can tell you what people dont take things that dont belong to them and they probably can tell you what the consequences are after the event but in that moment, they cannot control their impulses.
Lack of cause and effect thinking Fetal alcohol damages portions of the brain and one of them is the cause and effect center. These children do not understand that if you do A, the result will be B. This also manifests itself in different learning disabilities. Math is a cause and effect subject. If I add 6 to 3, the result will always be 9. There is no way around that. For kids with fetal alcohol issues, these concepts are difficult to understand. Even with consistent parenting, they will not remember what the consequence is for stealing, not doing homework, or the various other things that you normally assign consequences for.
Lack of empathy I dont know why this is so prevalent in kids with fetal alcohol issues. Maybe it goes along with attachment disorder and abuse that kids suffer, or maybe there is a different neurological explanation, but it is hard to live with either way. When your child hurts someone and does not feel badly about it, you wonder and worry.
I dont know You ask your child why a certain behavior happened and your child answers with I dont know and you want to scream. The truth is, your child doesnt know. They dont know why they took the $20 from your purse. The answer you may get is I wanted it which goes along with the lack of impulse control. Our kids dont understand why they do what they do and our inability to understand is just as frustrating.
Disrespect Disrespect stems from the lack of impulse control mentioned above. The children feel like doing something, so they do it. They feel like cursing at you, so they do. They feel like hitting one of your children, so they do.
These are difficult things to live with every day. I fully understand that. I lived with it for years. Of all of my sons mental health issues, I think this is the most difficult one to handle.
I also wanted to emphasize that at some point I think my child might have been diagnosed as BiPolar (BP). But as he grows older it really doesn't fit as a diagnosis. I would worry less about the diagnosis and more about seeing if there is any medications that help, whatever the diagnosis. I think that FA may complicate all the attempts at diagnosis. I was glad to have found a psychiatrist who believed that things like Tenex could have paradoxical reactions and trusted our observations about medications. Focus on the specific behaviors that you are trying to deal with, and don't worry about trying to find the correct diagnostic box to fit them in--or at least in any detail. He probably does have some aspects of ADHD. He probably does have difficulties with emotional regulation which look like mood disorders. He may have anxiety. He may have BiPolar (BP), but he may have lots of issues that look like BiPolar (BP) but have more to do with FA, his earliest years, and other things.
Good luck talking to your docs.
Here's what I found below on the web:
I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing what it is like to live with a child who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Effects. It is not easy.
There are several behavioral issues that are directly associated with fetal alcohol that drive most parents crazy. Even when you understand where these behaviors come from, they are still maddening.
Lack of impulse control Children with fetal alcohol have poor impulse control. If they see something they want, they take it. Before or after the event they can tell you what people dont take things that dont belong to them and they probably can tell you what the consequences are after the event but in that moment, they cannot control their impulses.
Lack of cause and effect thinking Fetal alcohol damages portions of the brain and one of them is the cause and effect center. These children do not understand that if you do A, the result will be B. This also manifests itself in different learning disabilities. Math is a cause and effect subject. If I add 6 to 3, the result will always be 9. There is no way around that. For kids with fetal alcohol issues, these concepts are difficult to understand. Even with consistent parenting, they will not remember what the consequence is for stealing, not doing homework, or the various other things that you normally assign consequences for.
Lack of empathy I dont know why this is so prevalent in kids with fetal alcohol issues. Maybe it goes along with attachment disorder and abuse that kids suffer, or maybe there is a different neurological explanation, but it is hard to live with either way. When your child hurts someone and does not feel badly about it, you wonder and worry.
I dont know You ask your child why a certain behavior happened and your child answers with I dont know and you want to scream. The truth is, your child doesnt know. They dont know why they took the $20 from your purse. The answer you may get is I wanted it which goes along with the lack of impulse control. Our kids dont understand why they do what they do and our inability to understand is just as frustrating.
Disrespect Disrespect stems from the lack of impulse control mentioned above. The children feel like doing something, so they do it. They feel like cursing at you, so they do. They feel like hitting one of your children, so they do.
These are difficult things to live with every day. I fully understand that. I lived with it for years. Of all of my sons mental health issues, I think this is the most difficult one to handle.