When do I start....

[timer lady]

I'm in tears; I so appreciate all the thought & wisdom given here.....I like the idea of boxing up & storing husband's things until I'm ready to sort through it all. husband has so much stuff....

I know I'm hanging on to many books that wm would appreciate (I think). There are a few items that kt is already using (his leather jacket comes to mind).

I lost husband's wedding band ~ I hope to find it soon. It fell off my finger as I'm losing weight & I didn't even notice. I'm devastated ~ that was the one thing I wanted to hang on to for a while.

I'm going to take time; I think it's important as husband's death was not expected.

I think you've helped me clear my mind a bit. Thank you.

 

[Abbey]

Linda,

I think there comes a time when it feels right. Only you can feel that. One day you'll just say...it's time to move on. That might be today, or it might be a year from now. Don't force it.

Hugs dear.

Abbey

 

[butterflydreams]

Speaking from experience, everyone has a different time table. It was easier for me, I guess because all of our stuff was in storage except some clothes when my husband died (we had just moved from another state and in between places). I left everything in boxes until I was ready to sort through. When I was ready, I got rid of all of his clothes, but left the rest of his stuff for another time. The rest, I left in boxes until I was ready.

I think making the room yours is a good idea, particularly if it will help unstick you. I really think that it probably would not be a good idea to be surrounded by everything with just you there if kt goes to Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

I think the idea of boxing everything up until you are ready is a good idea. If you have a garage, you could put the boxes in there and when you are ready, you could even tackle just one box at a time, that way it wouldn't be overwhelming for you.

I like the idea of the items like deodorant, razor, etc. Those things you could probably do now. I did those items right away, I gave my husband's razor to my stepdad when him and my mom were here for the memorial service.

As for the wedding band, I am sure you will find it soon. I wore my husband's for a while on a chain, it made me feel closer to him. When I felt I didn't need it anymore, I put it away in a safe place. My wedding band is with it now. This coming week will be 4 years since my husband died.

Just recently, my daughter and I sorted through the boxes of stuff I had saved from husband, she kept some of the items for herself, the rest we replaced back into boxes and they are in her closet.

My heart goes out to you.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Hugs, everyone gave you great advice about doing it at your own time. Everyone is different and everyone has to do things at their own pace.

beth

 

[DammitJanet]

Linda...coming in late again.

I just wanted to agree that there isnt a set time, do things when it feels right. When my mom died from Alzheimers I still had closets full of her old antique dishes and stuff like that. Also her furniture is in my house and it is still full of her old papers...lol. It took me probably 2 years to sort through her dishes and decide which ones I wanted to display in my house and which ones I would just pack up in the closet (why I dont know)...and I still havent gone through all the papers in her furniture. As you probably know I had a strained relationship with her so her death was hard for me. It took me a long time to decide what I wanted to do with her stuff. I really didnt know if I could look at it every day.

So...she died in Nov 2005...over 3 years later Im still not done ...lmao.