Farmwife
Member
"Anyway, do you have thoughts about setting boundaries in this situation? Am I just being overly sensitive?"
Suggestions on boundaries? Pain is a sign something is wrong. I think the same goes for emotional stuff. Are you being overly sensitive? No. You are entitled to feel how you want. If you really hate brussel sprouts and someone makes them knowing you don't like them and insists you eat them because "they aren't that bad" does that make them any less yucky? No. If you were scared of clowns and a friend thought it was irrational would that make it less scary even though they like clowns? No. you are perfectly entitled to be afraid of clowns and avoid them. You don't have to go to the circus to make anybody happy. Your senses and feelings ARE perfectly VALID regardless of how others feel about it. You can feel any darn way you please and not have to explain or justify it to anybody. FEELINGS are deeply personal, no one has a say in it but YOU. You want to feel sensitive because something hurts then by all means be sensitive!
I let my Dad see my difficult child but with supervision. My Dad had a bad habit of jokes that really are teasing and pretty mean. I know my Dad loves my difficult child and my difficult child likes to see him. I also am old enough to know how the "jokes" have a way of hurting and a kid may not say so because they want so much for people to like them and love them. If my Dad gets too "funny" during a visit I tell him to stop. If he doesn't the visit ends quickly. At one point it got so bad he and I had harsh words over it. We didn't speak for a year. The next time he called and every time after that he has been on his best behavior.
I'm all for grandparents being a huge part of kids lives. My next door neighbors are my husband's grandparents. Across a field is my Mom in law. I get a lot more grandparents than I can handle. lol Loving interaction is always healthy for a child. Abuse isn't okay under any circumstance and regardless of how kids respond it still isn't right. Abuse is abuse. No excuse for abuse. Occasionally losing your cool with a difficult child and letting a naughty word accidentally fly is normal I think. Belittling, overly criticisizing and intimidating isn't so okay.
Suggestions on boundaries? Pain is a sign something is wrong. I think the same goes for emotional stuff. Are you being overly sensitive? No. You are entitled to feel how you want. If you really hate brussel sprouts and someone makes them knowing you don't like them and insists you eat them because "they aren't that bad" does that make them any less yucky? No. If you were scared of clowns and a friend thought it was irrational would that make it less scary even though they like clowns? No. you are perfectly entitled to be afraid of clowns and avoid them. You don't have to go to the circus to make anybody happy. Your senses and feelings ARE perfectly VALID regardless of how others feel about it. You can feel any darn way you please and not have to explain or justify it to anybody. FEELINGS are deeply personal, no one has a say in it but YOU. You want to feel sensitive because something hurts then by all means be sensitive!
I let my Dad see my difficult child but with supervision. My Dad had a bad habit of jokes that really are teasing and pretty mean. I know my Dad loves my difficult child and my difficult child likes to see him. I also am old enough to know how the "jokes" have a way of hurting and a kid may not say so because they want so much for people to like them and love them. If my Dad gets too "funny" during a visit I tell him to stop. If he doesn't the visit ends quickly. At one point it got so bad he and I had harsh words over it. We didn't speak for a year. The next time he called and every time after that he has been on his best behavior.
I'm all for grandparents being a huge part of kids lives. My next door neighbors are my husband's grandparents. Across a field is my Mom in law. I get a lot more grandparents than I can handle. lol Loving interaction is always healthy for a child. Abuse isn't okay under any circumstance and regardless of how kids respond it still isn't right. Abuse is abuse. No excuse for abuse. Occasionally losing your cool with a difficult child and letting a naughty word accidentally fly is normal I think. Belittling, overly criticisizing and intimidating isn't so okay.