Karenvm
Member
Hi all.
Just need to write this out...
in one month exactly, my difficult child will turn 18.
The past two years have been so incredibly hard for us, with inpatient admissions for anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts, frequent marijuana and alcohol use, constant lying (about anything, and everything), police at the house because he is freaking out, a 40 day stay in residential facility, only to start drinking and smoking again two weeks after discharge (and stopped all the medications they had finally gotten him to therapeutic levels on).
After the 40 day stay (actually, DURING the stay), we told our difficult child this was his last shot. I can no longer live with the lying, finding pot pipes hidden in my 9 year olds room, finding a little bad of pot hidden in the pages of a book that my 9 year old was bringing to school, etc. we are DONE. Told difficult child that if he didn't stop using, that he needed to be out of our house at 18. No more support from us.
He already missed all college application deadlines in the fall ( this from a kid taking all advanced placement classes for the last two years, who wants to get a PhD in physics some day), and so we thought he could take community courses in the fall, and find a job.
So, he went right back to using. I am still finding bongs made from water bottles in different places in the house, rolling papers, etc. ( though have not found actual marijuana, because if I did, I would have called the police). We have told him he needs psychiatry, but he says he is "fine".
We have told him he will need to find a place to live on his own. We will not support him any longer.
But here is the reality...he has nowhere to go! No girlfriend, no friends with a couch to crash on, no relatives to stay with. Most of the kids he knows are going away to college.
So what do we do? Where can he go?
I can't continue to live with him like this, as he is wreaking havoc on the family. And now, being off all medications, he is constantly in a state of "hypo mania/mania", and driving me crazy. Not even sure he will graduate, because he has missed so much work, but he is in denial about that too.
He definitely needs help, but refuses to accept it or seek it out. I can't do it for him anymore.
i feel terrible. Do I just pack up his stuff and send him out on the street? Legally, we will not have any responsibility for him (as long as he is not enrolled in school...we already met with an attorney).
I struggle with feeling I need to help him, and then feeling I need to protect my other two, younger kids. They don't deserve to live like this.
Ugh. This is horrible.
Just need to write this out...
in one month exactly, my difficult child will turn 18.
The past two years have been so incredibly hard for us, with inpatient admissions for anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts, frequent marijuana and alcohol use, constant lying (about anything, and everything), police at the house because he is freaking out, a 40 day stay in residential facility, only to start drinking and smoking again two weeks after discharge (and stopped all the medications they had finally gotten him to therapeutic levels on).
After the 40 day stay (actually, DURING the stay), we told our difficult child this was his last shot. I can no longer live with the lying, finding pot pipes hidden in my 9 year olds room, finding a little bad of pot hidden in the pages of a book that my 9 year old was bringing to school, etc. we are DONE. Told difficult child that if he didn't stop using, that he needed to be out of our house at 18. No more support from us.
He already missed all college application deadlines in the fall ( this from a kid taking all advanced placement classes for the last two years, who wants to get a PhD in physics some day), and so we thought he could take community courses in the fall, and find a job.
So, he went right back to using. I am still finding bongs made from water bottles in different places in the house, rolling papers, etc. ( though have not found actual marijuana, because if I did, I would have called the police). We have told him he needs psychiatry, but he says he is "fine".
We have told him he will need to find a place to live on his own. We will not support him any longer.
But here is the reality...he has nowhere to go! No girlfriend, no friends with a couch to crash on, no relatives to stay with. Most of the kids he knows are going away to college.
So what do we do? Where can he go?
I can't continue to live with him like this, as he is wreaking havoc on the family. And now, being off all medications, he is constantly in a state of "hypo mania/mania", and driving me crazy. Not even sure he will graduate, because he has missed so much work, but he is in denial about that too.
He definitely needs help, but refuses to accept it or seek it out. I can't do it for him anymore.
i feel terrible. Do I just pack up his stuff and send him out on the street? Legally, we will not have any responsibility for him (as long as he is not enrolled in school...we already met with an attorney).
I struggle with feeling I need to help him, and then feeling I need to protect my other two, younger kids. They don't deserve to live like this.
Ugh. This is horrible.