Why can't she just figure it out without me???

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by KTMom91, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    We're changing Miss KT's medications, back to Ritalin, since she goes off our insurance in August and Ritalin is cheaper than Adderall. She has the prescription in her hand, and asks me what to do, because she needs it by tomorrow. Call the pharmacy and ask if they have that amount, and if not, find out when it will be available.

    Calls one pharmacy. Calls second pharmacy. Leaves the house. Calls me, all PO'd, because someone at the pharmacy heard Reglan instead of Ritalin, and they don't have it. I suggest she try another pharmacy. She calls back, more PO'd, because 411 gave her the wrong place. I suggest she call that place back and ask for the number of their branch down the street. She calls me back, wanting me to Google the phone number and text it to her. I do. She calls me back...they don't have enough. She's furious at wasting time and gas, it's SO HOT outside (about 80, and she has AC in the car), she has SO much homework, and I should just take care of this because she's busy. No. I suggest she go to the pharmacy we use, give them the prescription, and ask if they can give you enough to get you through until they get in the next shipment. But MOM, they won't do that, you don't know anything about it, whatever, bye.

    A simple little errand of dropping off a prescription has turned into a three-hour tour.
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Well.....you know what happened to the LAST group of people who took off on a 3 hour tour don't you?


    Sorry....couldn't resist.

    Today must be the day for us to be horrible rotten mothers. I made difficult child actually CALL the SSI office as per instructed on his letter. AND I made him do it HIMSELF!!!!!

    God help them if we were to ever decide to go on strike!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry this is so difficult for her to grasp. It took until about a year ago for my husband to be able to do that regularly. He will STILL go to the pharmacy to get his medications with-o checking to see if there are any other medications there to be picked up. Then he gets mad when I make him go back instead of going to get it myself.

    On the brighter side, the more often you make her figure this out herself the more she will be able to do for herself. Stick to your guns and don't start doing it for her just because it is easier than listening to her!!
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    KTmom...this is the very reason I started making mine do these things for themselves. I still refuse to do things for them that they can do for themselves. I had a friend who thought I was a witch with a capital B when I actually let Cory go to the hospital in an ambulance all by himself when he stuck a knife through his hand. Now granted if I had had a car to drive him I would have driven him but I didnt and I figured he could find a ride home for himself easier than getting one for the both of us. Yes I was worried about him but I figured he wasnt going to die from it. Obviously he didnt. He did call me to ask when his last tetanus shot was and I told him. He got through it all by himself. He was 19. After all, he was going to be a Daddy soon and would have to deal with boo boo's with a baby.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    This is why Nichole started taking over this stuff at 16, with supervision. (I made certain she filled/took them) Just a little at a time until she was doing it all. I figured she had to learn to do such things for Aubrey, she might as well learn to do them for herself too. lol

    Why didn't she do all the checking from home? Then no gas was wasted. Of course she wouldn't be a difficult child if she'd thought of that.

    And speaking of difficult children, seems mine (nichole) or grandaughter spilled something on my keyboard which suddenly now had all the keys sticking and driving me insane. Guess who stopped by to do online homework today? :tongue:
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    We've been working on this since she was 16. Filling out forms at the doctor's office, calling in her prescriptions, things like that, but every so often she just freaks and forgets how to do things. Try and get her to look something up in a phone book...OMG. Instant meltdown.

    Why would she call from home? She has a cell phone...:faint:
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    LOL sorry had to laugh on the reason she wouldn't call from home. Soooo gfgish. :faint:
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She needs a phone with Live Search on it. She just hits that button and say....Pharmacy or Drug Store. And the phone looks up all the stores within so many miles of her. Then she can pick the closest one to her and call them. If that doesnt work...open that app back up and pick the next store!

    SO neat and useful.
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I gotta say, I am SO glad I'm not the only one with a difficult child that does this stuff. Youngest still calls/texts me with all kinds of questions... how to do this, what hours so and so are open, how do you get to blahblah. I sometimes have to stop myself from just blurting out the answer. And this kid has a Google phone, what does she need me for?!
  10. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Didn't read all the comments.. but I see others have familiarity with this. She's on the young side, so this could be a typical young person's thing, but if it continues after you give her some guidance...well it goes into difficult child territory. I would sit with her as she makes a call to the pharmacy and/or physician's. Go with her to the pharmacy one time. But in all these scenarios, have HER do the talking. You just sit in the back ground for guidance. Have HER do the work next time. You are the teacher...that's all. If you do more, you go into enabler mode. Let her come to you for a little advice. Key words: "little and advice." Have her do the leg work next time and make sure you don't orchestrate everything. 17/18 are crucial years for change. Hopefully, very soon she will be doing this on her own.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Um.........here's three little words that helped me with Dude - and I KNOW they are good ones because I get MOCKED.....all.the.time. (and it sounds like the Lollipop Guild from the Wizard of Oz.....Figure it out, figure it out, figure it out) :tongue:

  12. ;) I can relate KT Mom!

    We'd tell our kids;

    "It is our job as your parents to equip you to become a responsible adult, that's why we're not doing it for you."

    My husband used to smile wide at his whiny employees and say;
    "I have the utmost confidence in your ability!"

    I began tagging the two together... :D

    My DS
    -difficult child would get infuriated at the concept of filling out his own medical forms (it's important that he know what medicines he's allergic to!)

    He'd pitch a total fit if I would direct him to look something up in the phone book himself. It seemed much of his frustration was he didn't know how to do it, and was too... something(???)... to ask for help. I wouldn't back down, but I'd instruct him step by step, closely supervise and encourage that...

    "I have the utmost confidence in your ability!" :beautiful-male:
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Back when Cory lived here, he was constantly stealing my cell phone and running up charges using 411 for well, wanting phone numbers. I hardly ever use that unless I am away from home or a store or cant get on my computer. He refuses to even try to get a number.

    So when he moved out of town he would call me. Mom whats the number to...xxx? I said, didnt you get a phone book? Uhh. I dont know. Well, dont you have 411? Well year but it costs money to use.

    LIGHT BULB MOMENT!!! Yes Cory it does and I tried to tell you that for ages son.

    Well mom...can you look it up online and then bring me your phone book? OK.


    His stupidest call came tonight. Ring ring. Mom, what time is it exactly.!!!
  14. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    We found with- our son, who ( knock on wood) is doing very well (throwing salt over my shoulders and crossing myself) that when he went through a period like this we had to sit back and let him do the work. He had difficulty with- this very thing and I sat in the background...letting him do the work. But, what STAR and TALAN said also applied beautifully. I told him he could do this...he could figure it out...I had confidence in his ability. I only stepped in when he was lost and then kept my input limited. Sometimes, I would tell him that he needed to pick up the phone and ask his questions to a pharmacist assistant, etc. Eventually, he did very well with these types of things. But I recall initially, I had to just quietly sit in the background for support. It was a learning experience. AND typical teen son (at the time) learned well.
    Ironically, our difficult child didn't have much of a problem with- this type of thing. Her issues are in different areas. She is more of an extrovert. She tends to learn the hard way and its a little difficult to watch. Sigh.
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Ohhhhhhh you learn so many new things here.......(snatches) I have the utmost confidence in YOUR ability. THANK YOU TALAN....

    Mine was a shortened version of my Mom's "I know you'll figure it out." in a passive voice. lol.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    L did this for a while. I hated it almost as much as when she'd call me at 10 - 11 at night while driving home. "What are you doing?" Nothing, L. I'm old and it's late and I'm sitting on my sofa. Half an hour of it. Jeez Louise, girl get an I-Pod for entertainment! I'm trying to watch CSI!
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ROFLMBO - Janet - Cory - what time is it... OMG!!!

    Onyxx has a habit of asking whoever is in the room what time it is.

    Depending on what's going on, sometimes I will tell her. Usually, though... "Time for you to wear a watch", "You know where the clock is", "Wow! If there was a battery in that clock, you would know!" (She swiped the battery out of the clock in the living room. It's one of the teeny ones that don't work in mp3 players, etc. So it didn't work - so she PRIED IT APART. Rendering it useless. I just neglected to replace it - If I want to know what time it is, I look at my watch or cell phone.

    I won't buy her a watch. Last one took a dip in the pool. That was the 6th or 7th and it's been more than 5 years ago. LOL! Hmmm. Maybe I WILL buy her a cheapie...

    But seriously. You are right, they just want us to answer the questions. Jett does this on his homework - he has to read a passage, then answer questions. He will say he can't find the answer. husband and I drive him crazy when we tell him, "Well I guess you'd better read it again..."