You might have a difficult child if...

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
... you become the expert on mental health in your extended family.

... the only friends you have left are also parents of difficult children.

... your response to difficult children terms of endearments like "you matha f#@king son of a bit@$" is, "wrong gender, dear".

... you view your child's butt as a potential cleaning implement as you drag them about on your leg. :Big Hand:
 

Janna

New Member
Originally posted by timer lady:

... your response to difficult children terms of endearments like "you matha f#@king son of a bit@$" is, "wrong gender, dear".
:Funny: :Funny: :Funny:
 

ChefPaula1965

Oh my aching back!!
.... you dread answering questions about your difficult children to people who only have easy child
........ you avoid family meetings because you are blamed for the gfgness
.......... you get tired of hearing "he just needs a good a** whooping, or worse.. he just needs more love and attention from you ***EWE GAG ME WITH A SPOON!!!!
 

jamrobmic

New Member
....Your bedroom door has a padlock on it.
And your difficult child's bedroom doesn't have a door on it.

Everything you know about computer security, you learned from trying to keep your difficult child off the computer.

You've gotten so good at spying you could open your own private detective agency.

You find a porn tape and you KNOW without question it belongs to your difficult child and not your husband.
 

Kiara

New Member
You know you are the mother of a difficult child when your head explodes as one more 30 yr old yuppie with a new born tells you how awful it is that people drug their children.

I'm loving this one Fran!

Great thread!
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
You might have a difficult child if...

--Not only does your pharmicist give you medications, you know the entire staff by name and they recognize your voice on the phone.

--When you have to leave work early the only thing your boss asks is "police, doctor or school?"

--You can identify your childs medications in the dark just by the rattling noise the pill bottle makes when you shake it.

--You've hidden so many things around your house that when you have the time or opportunity to go through things, it's like Christmas when you find stuff you've forgotten about.
 

tiredmommy

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by mstang67chic:
[qb] --You've hidden so many things around your house that when you have the time or opportunity to go through things, it's like Christmas when you find stuff you've forgotten about. [/qb]
That's my life!!! I went through a box of knick knacks recently that I haven't seen since 2001!!!
 

SRL

Active Member
Originally posted by Fran:
[qb] A vacation is when difficult child is sick in bed with a fever. [/qb]
:Sleeping In: LOL, Fran

...You see a mom struggling with a screaming toddler in a parking lot and you offer assistance thinking to yourself "After what I've learned I can handle this toddler with one hand tied behind my back".

...You've given up trying to explain to your easy child only friends and simply nod and say "uh-huh" when they tell you about their "strong willed child".
 

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
When you feel your blood pressure go up by 10 points by the little word MOM.... on an instant message

When everyone on the street, up the street, a few blocks down the street knows your sons name, and you don't even know the name of the person directly across the street

You own a police scanner (or two) and you have heard your own address over it (more than once)

You have your favorite bottle of Kaluha locked in the trunk of your car

You can never compalin and say the police take too long to respond, and they never address you as mam, they address you by your name when they show en mass, up in record time

Marcie
 

PonyGirl

Warrior Parent
..You know what Huber means...

...You once had a Judge look at you and ask simply, "Drugs, or Weapons?"...

...You have the Circuit Court website saved on Your Favorites...

Peace
 

tiredmommy

Well-Known Member
...Your greatest fear is that your child will turn 18, move out, and have nothing to do with you for the rest of your life.
...Your next greatest fear is that your child will never move out. :eek:
-TM
 

PonyGirl

Warrior Parent
HA! I'm the smartest difficult child Mom!!!

It's not a Huber. It's Huber, short for "Huber Release", wherein an inmate of a county jail facility is allowed to go to an outside job in the community.

Peace
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
Thanks Pony.
You get the difficult child Mom of the year award. :Big Hand:

I don't even mind not knowing what that term meant. :Easter Bunny:
 

tiredmommy

Well-Known Member
Lizanne-
I'd love to take credit for that entry, but it wasn't me. It was the acerbic wit of the lovely Timer Lady!

-TM
 
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