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General Parenting
10 y/o girl, ODD, Borderline (BPD), and/or something else???
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 568931"><p>I'm with Midwest Mom. It sounds like she really has a problem with what is called "change of mind-set". That's where she has an idea in her head and when that doesn't happen, it causes chaos in her head and results in anxiety that she can't process, at least not quickly. My difficult child 1 has that issue and it's worse when my response is vague. He does a lot better when I give him specifics like "not now but you can at 5:00" or "you have to come in and do x and y before you can go back out". We've worked VERY hard to get to this point. It by no means happened overnight. </p><p></p><p>Another issue it could be is what is called "transitions". When she's doing one thing and is asked to do something else and is expected to do it immediately, it also causes chaos for her which causes anxiety that she's not able to handle appropriately. That is also something we have been working on for a long time with difficult child 1. I have to give him countdowns (10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute) or "markers" (after this level of the game is done or at the next commercial or ....). It gives his brain a chance to process the request and follow through. </p><p></p><p>When I do slip up and expect something from him NOW, we have problems. He really is wired differently and it's not his fault that's his reality. I am the one who had to change my way of looking at things and I had to change my approach. We have come a long way since I started seeing things from his perspective after reading the books <em>The Explosive Child</em> by Ross Greene and<em> What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You</em> by Doug Riley. I would HIGHLY recommend your mom (and you depending on your age) read these books and try what they recommend. I alsl HIGHLY recommend your mom have her evaluated by a GOOD child psychiatrist at the very least. Ideally, a GOOD neuropsychologist would be better but that's not feasible for many people.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 568931"] I'm with Midwest Mom. It sounds like she really has a problem with what is called "change of mind-set". That's where she has an idea in her head and when that doesn't happen, it causes chaos in her head and results in anxiety that she can't process, at least not quickly. My difficult child 1 has that issue and it's worse when my response is vague. He does a lot better when I give him specifics like "not now but you can at 5:00" or "you have to come in and do x and y before you can go back out". We've worked VERY hard to get to this point. It by no means happened overnight. Another issue it could be is what is called "transitions". When she's doing one thing and is asked to do something else and is expected to do it immediately, it also causes chaos for her which causes anxiety that she's not able to handle appropriately. That is also something we have been working on for a long time with difficult child 1. I have to give him countdowns (10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute) or "markers" (after this level of the game is done or at the next commercial or ....). It gives his brain a chance to process the request and follow through. When I do slip up and expect something from him NOW, we have problems. He really is wired differently and it's not his fault that's his reality. I am the one who had to change my way of looking at things and I had to change my approach. We have come a long way since I started seeing things from his perspective after reading the books [I]The Explosive Child[/I] by Ross Greene and[I] What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You[/I] by Doug Riley. I would HIGHLY recommend your mom (and you depending on your age) read these books and try what they recommend. I alsl HIGHLY recommend your mom have her evaluated by a GOOD child psychiatrist at the very least. Ideally, a GOOD neuropsychologist would be better but that's not feasible for many people. Good luck and keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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10 y/o girl, ODD, Borderline (BPD), and/or something else???
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