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14 year old step-son is scaring me
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<blockquote data-quote="nomad78" data-source="post: 283293" data-attributes="member: 7620"><p>Ok, I just finished reading over every post in this thread three times. </p><p></p><p>1) I spoke with his mom last night and the bathroom problem has been a problem since he was 5, he just recently started sharing it with everyone. </p><p></p><p>2) His mom refuses to report the molestation (she woke up in the middle of the night with his hands down her pants). She thinks talking to the forensic psychologist was enough and that the kids are safe enough as long as they are not sleeping in the same room; however, he came into our room to mess with his mother. </p><p></p><p>3) He has never been sexually abused by anyone, he is the first person on earth that would have said something as he is a pity monger, and his doctors have grilled him endlessly on the question. </p><p></p><p>4) He is never punished for things he does when his mom is not around (shaking his genitals at me ETC ETC ETC). She did not even think it pertinent to discuss it with the child.</p><p></p><p>5) Yes I think he is taking every opportunity to show me that he has no respect for my authority. I think this is because his bio-father talks about me in the worst way to the child at every chance. (His bio father knows NOTHING about me; however, he has preached to both boys that he plans on "whipping my ***" if I get in any of their business. Last year the bio father told them not to do anything I say. So yes, I believe he is a major part of this issue. </p><p></p><p>6) The child picks fights with me out of the blue for no reason when his mother is not at home. When she is here, there is usually something he must do, or can not have that leads to the tantrums. For now, I have taken to avoiding contact with him while I am by myself and focusing on keeping the other kids busy and out of his range.</p><p></p><p>7) Caught him having pretend sex with the cat a while back. His mother shouted at him that he can not have animals in his room anymore; however, the issue was never discussed and the animal ban wore off after 3 days of fighting over it. His mother is exhausted of dealing with it.</p><p></p><p>8) The bio father tells the child that his doctors are all stupid and don't deserve to interact with bio father. When child is misbehaving at his bio fathers house, his mother and I have to go pick him up early. Bio father tells him and us that unless he is behaving that he does not deserve to interact with his bio as a father figure.</p><p></p><p>9) Last summer at bio fathers house, child was misbehaving and bio father told the 11 year old to go "kick his butt" of the 14 year old because he was behaving so badly. This was brought to the attention of child psychologist, who said that if there was a bruise then the authorities would be called, if not, the father would just lie his way out of it.</p><p></p><p>10) My nightmares consist of the child putting super glue in my eyes while I am sleeping, cutting off limbs of family members, and raping various severed body parts of family members. Always in the nightmares I yell at him and he says "great !! every time I find something fun to do" or a variation of that phrase which is a phrase that is usually a clue that we are about to enter a horrible tantrum. I have decided to seek psychological help to deal with this as it is very very hard to look at the child in a positive light.</p><p></p><p>11) I have expressed my opinion that the child should not be playing with the 7 year old kids down the street, especially unsupervised out in the clubhouse in the woods. His mother fights with me on the topic by saying she does not believe he would do anything that awful.</p><p></p><p>12) His bio father tells him that his mom takes all his money, buys drugs, and he has to send extra money and that he supports everyone that lives here. When the child breaks something, he likes to shout "my dad pays for everything here anyways". In truth: bio father pays his child support which is not much. The child's mother is on pain killers for hip and back problems she got from having to physically move the 14 year old up and down the stairs while he is having tantrums. Before she was put on the pain killers, she was so strait she would not even have a drink with me.</p><p></p><p>It is no surprise to me that the child has no respect for his mother, or me, and has no trouble lying to his doctors.</p><p></p><p>13) Few days ago the child came up to me out of the blue (when his mom stepped out) and said "im going to tell people you abuse me, not giving me ice cream is child abuse and neglect". </p><p></p><p>14) I suspect that the child is working up some plan to have me arrested. In all honesty, I can not wait. I could use a good nights sleep and in my defence I would be able to report the molestation, the animal abuse, and tell my side to the police. </p><p></p><p>The Bio father makes everything worse. </p><p>His mom lets him get away with just about everything, and will not let punishments stick. Sometimes punishments are impossible, but they never stick no-matter-what.</p><p>I am absolutly terrified to go to sleep because of the nightmares, I think that this means I should not be sleeping while he is in the house.</p><p>Over this summer, I am not going to get much work done because I have to babysit him all day, so I will try to catch up work at night while everyone sleeps; this way I can still guard. </p><p>The next time he does something, I am going to call the police and bypass his mother all together. She will hate me for it, but I guess that is just the way it is. </p><p></p><p>Thank you all for the support, thoughts, and ideas. I did not expect to hear good news from anyone, but you have assured me that my fears are justifiable, and something needs to be done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nomad78, post: 283293, member: 7620"] Ok, I just finished reading over every post in this thread three times. 1) I spoke with his mom last night and the bathroom problem has been a problem since he was 5, he just recently started sharing it with everyone. 2) His mom refuses to report the molestation (she woke up in the middle of the night with his hands down her pants). She thinks talking to the forensic psychologist was enough and that the kids are safe enough as long as they are not sleeping in the same room; however, he came into our room to mess with his mother. 3) He has never been sexually abused by anyone, he is the first person on earth that would have said something as he is a pity monger, and his doctors have grilled him endlessly on the question. 4) He is never punished for things he does when his mom is not around (shaking his genitals at me ETC ETC ETC). She did not even think it pertinent to discuss it with the child. 5) Yes I think he is taking every opportunity to show me that he has no respect for my authority. I think this is because his bio-father talks about me in the worst way to the child at every chance. (His bio father knows NOTHING about me; however, he has preached to both boys that he plans on "whipping my ***" if I get in any of their business. Last year the bio father told them not to do anything I say. So yes, I believe he is a major part of this issue. 6) The child picks fights with me out of the blue for no reason when his mother is not at home. When she is here, there is usually something he must do, or can not have that leads to the tantrums. For now, I have taken to avoiding contact with him while I am by myself and focusing on keeping the other kids busy and out of his range. 7) Caught him having pretend sex with the cat a while back. His mother shouted at him that he can not have animals in his room anymore; however, the issue was never discussed and the animal ban wore off after 3 days of fighting over it. His mother is exhausted of dealing with it. 8) The bio father tells the child that his doctors are all stupid and don't deserve to interact with bio father. When child is misbehaving at his bio fathers house, his mother and I have to go pick him up early. Bio father tells him and us that unless he is behaving that he does not deserve to interact with his bio as a father figure. 9) Last summer at bio fathers house, child was misbehaving and bio father told the 11 year old to go "kick his butt" of the 14 year old because he was behaving so badly. This was brought to the attention of child psychologist, who said that if there was a bruise then the authorities would be called, if not, the father would just lie his way out of it. 10) My nightmares consist of the child putting super glue in my eyes while I am sleeping, cutting off limbs of family members, and raping various severed body parts of family members. Always in the nightmares I yell at him and he says "great !! every time I find something fun to do" or a variation of that phrase which is a phrase that is usually a clue that we are about to enter a horrible tantrum. I have decided to seek psychological help to deal with this as it is very very hard to look at the child in a positive light. 11) I have expressed my opinion that the child should not be playing with the 7 year old kids down the street, especially unsupervised out in the clubhouse in the woods. His mother fights with me on the topic by saying she does not believe he would do anything that awful. 12) His bio father tells him that his mom takes all his money, buys drugs, and he has to send extra money and that he supports everyone that lives here. When the child breaks something, he likes to shout "my dad pays for everything here anyways". In truth: bio father pays his child support which is not much. The child's mother is on pain killers for hip and back problems she got from having to physically move the 14 year old up and down the stairs while he is having tantrums. Before she was put on the pain killers, she was so strait she would not even have a drink with me. It is no surprise to me that the child has no respect for his mother, or me, and has no trouble lying to his doctors. 13) Few days ago the child came up to me out of the blue (when his mom stepped out) and said "im going to tell people you abuse me, not giving me ice cream is child abuse and neglect". 14) I suspect that the child is working up some plan to have me arrested. In all honesty, I can not wait. I could use a good nights sleep and in my defence I would be able to report the molestation, the animal abuse, and tell my side to the police. The Bio father makes everything worse. His mom lets him get away with just about everything, and will not let punishments stick. Sometimes punishments are impossible, but they never stick no-matter-what. I am absolutly terrified to go to sleep because of the nightmares, I think that this means I should not be sleeping while he is in the house. Over this summer, I am not going to get much work done because I have to babysit him all day, so I will try to catch up work at night while everyone sleeps; this way I can still guard. The next time he does something, I am going to call the police and bypass his mother all together. She will hate me for it, but I guess that is just the way it is. Thank you all for the support, thoughts, and ideas. I did not expect to hear good news from anyone, but you have assured me that my fears are justifiable, and something needs to be done. [/QUOTE]
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