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17 y/o son newly diagnosed ODD and moved out...dont know how to help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 731092" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Don't blame yourself.</p><p></p><p>ODD is usually a little kids diagnosis, not given to 17 year olds! It has no real meaning other than defiant kid and many kids are born with difficult temperaments. It has nothing to do with you....more likely he inherited some personality traits from his father. He had his DNA even if his father didn't raise him. Some babies are calm from day one, some alert and smiley and some plain difficult and crying. I was that difficult baby! From infancy I didn't even want to be held and I cried nonstop.</p><p></p><p>Now I had crappy unloving parents who let all of us do whatever we wanted and in particular I was abused by my mother BUT I never blamed parenting for having childhood tantrums and depression. I was born that way. There is plenty of difficult people in my family tree that I inherited from and I had to work very hard in therapy and take medications to get better but I wanted to so I did. ODD at 17???</p><p></p><p>I've been a mental healthcare patient all my adult life. Psychiatry is inexact and just guessing. A Mayo Clinic Neuropsychologist Psychologist told me this, but I already knew that anyway. It is not comforting, but if you are a mental healthcare patient you know that one person can get five diagnoses from different professionals. There are no blood tests to confirm any diagnosis, just an ever changing DSM which can't be proven yet either. You learn as you get older some idea of what going on...I know I have a mood disorder. Exactly what it's called, well, different psychiatrists called it different things. And medications are a crapshoot because each diagnoses may be right or wrong or in between.</p><p></p><p>I would stop reading. You already had one wrong bipolar diagnosis. So did my son. Bipolar is often diagnosed when it isn't. So is ODD. And all psychiatric diagnosis. It is not an exact science. Look</p><p></p><p>So please at least stop blaming yourself. Be kind to you. You don't have and may never have a clear idea of the title of your son's label. You do know how he behaves.</p><p></p><p>The hard part of all this is that there is nothing you can do to change your son unless/until he wants to change. Then HE has to reach out for professional help and work hard. You can't help somebody change. That is on the person's shoulders.</p><p></p><p>There is just one person you can change in life....yourself. This is a good place to start. Perhaps therapy for you will help you cope and make you more confident and bold when dealing with your son's behavior. Sometimes when we stop being their whipping person they respect us more. Sometimes not. But from doing both, I can say that for me no longer allowing myself to be whipped, I respect myself more and cope better. Be good to yourself. This is a hard journey.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 731092, member: 1550"] Don't blame yourself. ODD is usually a little kids diagnosis, not given to 17 year olds! It has no real meaning other than defiant kid and many kids are born with difficult temperaments. It has nothing to do with you....more likely he inherited some personality traits from his father. He had his DNA even if his father didn't raise him. Some babies are calm from day one, some alert and smiley and some plain difficult and crying. I was that difficult baby! From infancy I didn't even want to be held and I cried nonstop. Now I had crappy unloving parents who let all of us do whatever we wanted and in particular I was abused by my mother BUT I never blamed parenting for having childhood tantrums and depression. I was born that way. There is plenty of difficult people in my family tree that I inherited from and I had to work very hard in therapy and take medications to get better but I wanted to so I did. ODD at 17??? I've been a mental healthcare patient all my adult life. Psychiatry is inexact and just guessing. A Mayo Clinic Neuropsychologist Psychologist told me this, but I already knew that anyway. It is not comforting, but if you are a mental healthcare patient you know that one person can get five diagnoses from different professionals. There are no blood tests to confirm any diagnosis, just an ever changing DSM which can't be proven yet either. You learn as you get older some idea of what going on...I know I have a mood disorder. Exactly what it's called, well, different psychiatrists called it different things. And medications are a crapshoot because each diagnoses may be right or wrong or in between. I would stop reading. You already had one wrong bipolar diagnosis. So did my son. Bipolar is often diagnosed when it isn't. So is ODD. And all psychiatric diagnosis. It is not an exact science. Look So please at least stop blaming yourself. Be kind to you. You don't have and may never have a clear idea of the title of your son's label. You do know how he behaves. The hard part of all this is that there is nothing you can do to change your son unless/until he wants to change. Then HE has to reach out for professional help and work hard. You can't help somebody change. That is on the person's shoulders. There is just one person you can change in life....yourself. This is a good place to start. Perhaps therapy for you will help you cope and make you more confident and bold when dealing with your son's behavior. Sometimes when we stop being their whipping person they respect us more. Sometimes not. But from doing both, I can say that for me no longer allowing myself to be whipped, I respect myself more and cope better. Be good to yourself. This is a hard journey. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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17 y/o son newly diagnosed ODD and moved out...dont know how to help
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