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Substance Abuse
17 yr old son, defiant and using
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 637743" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>rc606, I just wanted to put in my two cents on the therapy issue. I also have a defiant 17-year-old son who will be 18 in a couple of months. Because of a history of misbehavior at school and elsewhere, we put him with a private therapist at age 12. He refused to talk at all, and it was embarrassing for me to sit there with him and be at a total loss to get him to participate. It was no better when I left the room. </p><p>We quit after a couple of months of weekly staring sessions. He was prescribed Concerta (Ritalin) at this time, which helped slightly. After a while, he refused to take it.</p><p></p><p>Then at age 14, the same type of issues led to him seeing another therapist. Again, he wouldn't talk or cooperate. He said he was only going because he knew it made me feel less guilty as a parent, and he hoped I was happy that I had tried, but he wasn't going to talk. Again, discontinued after a few sessions.</p><p></p><p>Just before he turned 16, he started having panic attacks and was getting very disturbed and scared by them. He had once casually mentioned wanting to go to an inpatient facility, and a few weeks later we took him against his will after a particularly bad episode. He was furious, and threatened to escape, etc. He refused to cooperate, said everyone there was stupid, etc. He was there for 5 days. He was prescribed some medications that he refused to take.</p><p></p><p>The panic attacks continued, behavior had not improved, etc. My husband and I were at a loss of what to do. Several months later, (still age 16) he <em>asked me</em> if he could go to therapy. He's been going to the same therapist now for over a year, and he refuses to miss a session. Even if he's been missing work, class, etc. and is sick in bed, he'll get up to go to therapy. Although he still has issues, he's improved a lot since he first started. A year ago, he was a high school dropout with no job who slept most of the day and played video games all night. Since then, he's got his GED, is taking classes at community college, and has a part-time job. He can still be rude and disrespectful, but the really bad days are few and far between compared to a year ago. </p><p></p><p>So the moral to my story is that I think therapy is very useful, but I think it would be very difficult for it to have any effect if the person isn't a willing participant. That's been my experience, anyway. I think if you approach your son and talk about the issues he's been having and that his losses and life changes would be hard on anyone, he might agree to see a grief counselor or regular therapist. Just let him know it's an option and you'd support him 100% if he would seek that kind of help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 637743, member: 18099"] rc606, I just wanted to put in my two cents on the therapy issue. I also have a defiant 17-year-old son who will be 18 in a couple of months. Because of a history of misbehavior at school and elsewhere, we put him with a private therapist at age 12. He refused to talk at all, and it was embarrassing for me to sit there with him and be at a total loss to get him to participate. It was no better when I left the room. We quit after a couple of months of weekly staring sessions. He was prescribed Concerta (Ritalin) at this time, which helped slightly. After a while, he refused to take it. Then at age 14, the same type of issues led to him seeing another therapist. Again, he wouldn't talk or cooperate. He said he was only going because he knew it made me feel less guilty as a parent, and he hoped I was happy that I had tried, but he wasn't going to talk. Again, discontinued after a few sessions. Just before he turned 16, he started having panic attacks and was getting very disturbed and scared by them. He had once casually mentioned wanting to go to an inpatient facility, and a few weeks later we took him against his will after a particularly bad episode. He was furious, and threatened to escape, etc. He refused to cooperate, said everyone there was stupid, etc. He was there for 5 days. He was prescribed some medications that he refused to take. The panic attacks continued, behavior had not improved, etc. My husband and I were at a loss of what to do. Several months later, (still age 16) he [I]asked me[/I] if he could go to therapy. He's been going to the same therapist now for over a year, and he refuses to miss a session. Even if he's been missing work, class, etc. and is sick in bed, he'll get up to go to therapy. Although he still has issues, he's improved a lot since he first started. A year ago, he was a high school dropout with no job who slept most of the day and played video games all night. Since then, he's got his GED, is taking classes at community college, and has a part-time job. He can still be rude and disrespectful, but the really bad days are few and far between compared to a year ago. So the moral to my story is that I think therapy is very useful, but I think it would be very difficult for it to have any effect if the person isn't a willing participant. That's been my experience, anyway. I think if you approach your son and talk about the issues he's been having and that his losses and life changes would be hard on anyone, he might agree to see a grief counselor or regular therapist. Just let him know it's an option and you'd support him 100% if he would seek that kind of help. [/QUOTE]
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