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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
18 yo.....two arrests in one week
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 490621" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Alabamagirl, you are not alone. I am sending a hug and good vibrations your way. This is the worst time for parents as we wait for the consequences to hit our kids who have made bad choices. You are stressed and feeling alone. Even our families don't totally understand unless they've raised one of these kids. Your difficult child says he's not affraid of jail, as ours said also-trust me, he is. When he said, "throw me out of the car, I know you want to"-he was really feeling bad about himself and hopeless. He doesn't know which way to go or how to feel. He is feeling what you are feeling. Is it enough to turn him around? Who knows. This may be his rock bottom. Stay strong by caring for yourself first. Let him figure out how he will pay his fines. In the end you may decide to help but you can have the lawyer write up a loan contract. I'm not sure what I would do-I think I would make him think he has to pay the fines on his own so he is motivated to get work. We have made difficult child pay every penny back for fines, stealing etc. She knows that is her first priority now that she is working. I think when they are accountable, they actually end up feeling better as they make restitution. Please care for yourself and allow yourself to know that you have done the best you could at every turn.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 490621, member: 11001"] Alabamagirl, you are not alone. I am sending a hug and good vibrations your way. This is the worst time for parents as we wait for the consequences to hit our kids who have made bad choices. You are stressed and feeling alone. Even our families don't totally understand unless they've raised one of these kids. Your difficult child says he's not affraid of jail, as ours said also-trust me, he is. When he said, "throw me out of the car, I know you want to"-he was really feeling bad about himself and hopeless. He doesn't know which way to go or how to feel. He is feeling what you are feeling. Is it enough to turn him around? Who knows. This may be his rock bottom. Stay strong by caring for yourself first. Let him figure out how he will pay his fines. In the end you may decide to help but you can have the lawyer write up a loan contract. I'm not sure what I would do-I think I would make him think he has to pay the fines on his own so he is motivated to get work. We have made difficult child pay every penny back for fines, stealing etc. She knows that is her first priority now that she is working. I think when they are accountable, they actually end up feeling better as they make restitution. Please care for yourself and allow yourself to know that you have done the best you could at every turn. [/QUOTE]
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18 yo.....two arrests in one week
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