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Substance Abuse
19 year old pot smoker
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 538670" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>I think your husband is on the right track. The bottom line of it is that it's your home and you deserve to be able to leave in peace in your drug free home. You have informed him of the terms of living in your house. He is now an adult and if he cannot comply, he must find his own living situation. I tend to agree with you on the school thing - if he is getting Bs or better, I would still want to support him being in schooleven if he is not at home as that is a positive, but I do not blame your husband for not wanting your son's drug using lifestyle under his nose in his own home. Don't listen to your son's threats about dropping out, he is just trying to control the situation. If he chooses to drop out, that's his choice, you can't control that. His threats are the threats of someone who is resisting the process of growing up. I believe the only way to help thm is to not enable their choices by making it easy. I have also heard the argument for ADHD and pot from other pot smokers. There is medication for ADHD. If he wants it, you can support that. Most kids that I have known that have ADHD and smoke pot use it as a crutch to avoid doing the hard work of overcoming their ADHD and it holds them in an unmotivated, unproductive vice. If you can find a counselor with good experience helping parents of addicts, I think it would be very helpful. In the initial phases of dealing with my young pot smoking ADHD son, I too was afraid of his threats and felt bad coming down too hard. I learned that the easier we were, the more manipulative he became. He has been through many programs and is making progress and he thinks we ar the strictest, most ridiculous parents, but I don't care. I WILL NOT stand by passively hoping he grows up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 538670, member: 12490"] I think your husband is on the right track. The bottom line of it is that it's your home and you deserve to be able to leave in peace in your drug free home. You have informed him of the terms of living in your house. He is now an adult and if he cannot comply, he must find his own living situation. I tend to agree with you on the school thing - if he is getting Bs or better, I would still want to support him being in schooleven if he is not at home as that is a positive, but I do not blame your husband for not wanting your son's drug using lifestyle under his nose in his own home. Don't listen to your son's threats about dropping out, he is just trying to control the situation. If he chooses to drop out, that's his choice, you can't control that. His threats are the threats of someone who is resisting the process of growing up. I believe the only way to help thm is to not enable their choices by making it easy. I have also heard the argument for ADHD and pot from other pot smokers. There is medication for ADHD. If he wants it, you can support that. Most kids that I have known that have ADHD and smoke pot use it as a crutch to avoid doing the hard work of overcoming their ADHD and it holds them in an unmotivated, unproductive vice. If you can find a counselor with good experience helping parents of addicts, I think it would be very helpful. In the initial phases of dealing with my young pot smoking ADHD son, I too was afraid of his threats and felt bad coming down too hard. I learned that the easier we were, the more manipulative he became. He has been through many programs and is making progress and he thinks we ar the strictest, most ridiculous parents, but I don't care. I WILL NOT stand by passively hoping he grows up. [/QUOTE]
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19 year old pot smoker
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