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General Parenting
2 Fs, 3 Ds and a B
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 327032" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>I'm of the thinking that, with her depression so bad right now, she should have something positive that she enjoys. But I'm also all for consequences. I would let the natural consequences of her grades happen. Do you know for sure that she will be inelligible as a result of her grades?</p><p> </p><p>Then perhaps you need to set some new guidelines at home. Homework to be done downstairs where mom and dad can insure it is being done. Phone removed at 9pm every evening, no additional privilages until work is completed, stuff like that. Certainly she will pull the "they are my grades why do you care?" or "it's my room I can keep it any way I want" - typical!</p><p> </p><p>You will need to gently remind her that you and husband love her and want the best for her. That her grades now will affect what she does and where she goes after high school. That you know she is a smart girl but dealing with some tough personal issues right now. But it doesn't excuse her not caring.</p><p> </p><p>I think setting a new homework rule will insure that she does it. But what you have to make sure of is that she turns it in. You also should set a time for homework to start. I know most high school kids would rather start their homework at 10 in their bed. But that is not going to work for easy child. She has messed up and this will have to be her consequence. Make her begin at a time that is good for all. Perhaps while you are prepping dinner and it is quiet at the table because difficult child is watching tv in the other room. I think you and husband have to really present a united front and make sure she understands there are no options for her in this.</p><p> </p><p>This is how it's going to be and there will be no daily discussions about it. For every time she complains, yells, refuses, social privilages will be removed. Perhaps this will get her refocused. And, there is not much time left before winter break and perhaps that new ad will really kick in by the next semester start. Maybe it will be mute by January!</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 327032, member: 805"] I'm of the thinking that, with her depression so bad right now, she should have something positive that she enjoys. But I'm also all for consequences. I would let the natural consequences of her grades happen. Do you know for sure that she will be inelligible as a result of her grades? Then perhaps you need to set some new guidelines at home. Homework to be done downstairs where mom and dad can insure it is being done. Phone removed at 9pm every evening, no additional privilages until work is completed, stuff like that. Certainly she will pull the "they are my grades why do you care?" or "it's my room I can keep it any way I want" - typical! You will need to gently remind her that you and husband love her and want the best for her. That her grades now will affect what she does and where she goes after high school. That you know she is a smart girl but dealing with some tough personal issues right now. But it doesn't excuse her not caring. I think setting a new homework rule will insure that she does it. But what you have to make sure of is that she turns it in. You also should set a time for homework to start. I know most high school kids would rather start their homework at 10 in their bed. But that is not going to work for easy child. She has messed up and this will have to be her consequence. Make her begin at a time that is good for all. Perhaps while you are prepping dinner and it is quiet at the table because difficult child is watching tv in the other room. I think you and husband have to really present a united front and make sure she understands there are no options for her in this. This is how it's going to be and there will be no daily discussions about it. For every time she complains, yells, refuses, social privilages will be removed. Perhaps this will get her refocused. And, there is not much time left before winter break and perhaps that new ad will really kick in by the next semester start. Maybe it will be mute by January! Sharon [/QUOTE]
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