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The Watercooler
2 situations...would like your thoughts.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 332570" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>My husband used to scream at Wiz if he didn't do what I said. It was the ONLY way/time he would put ANY limit on Wiz. He would bellyache about Wiz' behaviors, but NEVER tell him to stop or model better behavior. He would not even tell Wiz what he expected before an outing. At the time if we had 10 minutes of unpleasantness in an entire day of great behavior and fun then my husband would LOUDLY whine about the entire day being ruined.</p><p></p><p>It did NOT last long because I had enough. I blew up a few times, tehn I got calm. If I am loud husband ignores it. If I am quiet he gets scared. Change happens when he is scared. He NEVER got better at setting limits, but he DID stop yelling. He left it all for me to do.</p><p></p><p>He now regrets it mightily - esp after my docs have said my body breaking down is a direct result of having to deal with it all on my own.</p><p></p><p>My husband mostly avoids parenting when I let him. I make him live with the consequences. It doesn't bug the kids, but it does bug him!</p><p></p><p>If your husband refuses to change then you may have to leave. I would NOT tolerate anyone treating my kids like that, esp not a stepparent. Refuses to parent HIS child and then SCREAMS at yours?</p><p></p><p>Oh, no no no no no.</p><p></p><p>Time for some consequences for husband. BIG ones. You have to decide what you can and will tolerate, and what will motivate husband.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 332570, member: 1233"] My husband used to scream at Wiz if he didn't do what I said. It was the ONLY way/time he would put ANY limit on Wiz. He would bellyache about Wiz' behaviors, but NEVER tell him to stop or model better behavior. He would not even tell Wiz what he expected before an outing. At the time if we had 10 minutes of unpleasantness in an entire day of great behavior and fun then my husband would LOUDLY whine about the entire day being ruined. It did NOT last long because I had enough. I blew up a few times, tehn I got calm. If I am loud husband ignores it. If I am quiet he gets scared. Change happens when he is scared. He NEVER got better at setting limits, but he DID stop yelling. He left it all for me to do. He now regrets it mightily - esp after my docs have said my body breaking down is a direct result of having to deal with it all on my own. My husband mostly avoids parenting when I let him. I make him live with the consequences. It doesn't bug the kids, but it does bug him! If your husband refuses to change then you may have to leave. I would NOT tolerate anyone treating my kids like that, esp not a stepparent. Refuses to parent HIS child and then SCREAMS at yours? Oh, no no no no no. Time for some consequences for husband. BIG ones. You have to decide what you can and will tolerate, and what will motivate husband. [/QUOTE]
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2 situations...would like your thoughts.
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