You guys gave me lots of food for thought with regards to my sitauation with my list and husband. Just got back from a wonderful weekend with my family back home and had a couple of "things" happen that I wanted to bring back...my thoughts on them, and family's thoughts on them were very different...would like your take, if you don't mind. easy child 2 has started wetting her pants. I am very concerned about why, but also about keeping my house from stinking and laundry from molding. Back in Oct was the first time I confirmed it was happening, but still don't know why. She had taken a pair of my pants she borrowed and wet in, wadded them up, and stashed them. husband told her then that she needed to deal with it - wash them out, let someone know, something. She did it again this morning. Today's incident was purely waited too long to go. Happened in the kitchen. I knew it when it happened but said nothing. She went to the bathroom and changed and took the wet clothes and wadded them up inside clean, dry clothes in her suitcase, and left them. I confirmed it, found a soaked pair of undies, damp sleep pants, and wet socks (the sleep pants were very baggy so most didn't get on those...). I told husband. He did nothing. An hour or so later, I told him he needed to handle it. He asked easy child if she needed to take care of her clothes. She said no. He asked if she needed to do some laundry, again, she said no. He asked if she wet herself. She said no. Later, when I asked if it was dealt with, he said she said there wasn't a problem. So I sent him to find the clothes. He came back and said they were just damp (6 hours later). I said DUH...its been 6 hours and they're wrapped in dry flannel. Of course, more was damp, now, but nothing was soaking anymore. He wasn't goign to do anymore. Later, I pulled him aside and asked him if , way back when, he told her to deal with her peed in clothes or not. He said yes he did. I asked him if she'd dealt with them. He said no she hasn't. I said fix it. He told her he knew she wet her pants and she needed to wash them and nothing more was said. Scenario 2. husband got pulled over for speeding. easy child 2 was in the back seat. She sat up on the edge of the seat, turned around backwards, and looked at the approaching patrolman. I got onto her to turn around. husband scowled at me. When he got back in the car, he was unphased about the ticket. The cop reduced it to 10 over the limit. Wee difficult child was anxious about it. The last time anyone got pulled over it was because he took off his seatbelt and stood up in the backseat at a stoplight with a patrolman behind us. He thought this time was his fault, too. He was afraid husband was goinig to jail. Just worried in general, and able to say so. With anxiety rising, he started wiggling and singing. 15 miles down the road, I asked him to stop. He didn't. I asked him again, or to sing quietly. He started singing "I'm sorry", but very loud. husband SLAMMED on the brakes, whipped the car to the shoulder, turned around, and SCREAMED at difficult child to do what he was told. The brake slam would have been sufficient, but difficult child quieted and went to sleep. *** My fam witnessed these. Their take and mine was very different. Given my feeling that the "team" is missing....any thoughts?