2 steps forward....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Woofens, Oct 13, 2008.

  1. Woofens

    Woofens New Member

    and then a huge step back :(

    We go back to dinner as a family every Sunday night, unless the kids have been with their dad and sometimes even then depending on ow difficult child is acting. Yesterday was great, he was up early, ate breakfast, went out to do yardwork with M. At 12:30, he came in and asked if he could go to work with M. Told him if M said yes it was fine with me. They got home at about 5:30 and we got ready to go out. difficult child got his bath no problem, and got dressed.

    Things started to go downhill when we went to the car. difficult child J was upset that difficult child D was going. It's not unusual for difficult child D goes with us, so it wasn't anything new. difficult child J didn't want to get in the car. Looking back now, I should have called the evening off, and ordered pizza or something, when he started before we even left. M and I decided to go the opposite direction that we usually go, to go to a different place. difficult child realized we weren't going to the usual and asked where we were going. We told him and he said that he didn't want to go there. Not anyplace new, he just didn't want to go. So M and I talked about it and decided to go someplace different. We got to the restaurant and difficult child J exploded. There was no reasoning with him, no using the tips in "The Explosive Child", nothing. He wasn't going in and we couldn't make him. I have noticed 2 different kinds of outbursts from him. One is like Friday AM, when he was so upset about school. The other kind is last night, when he was just out of control, but laughing at us (openly) and seeming to think that the behavior is funny. A couple weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference, but I can now. There are the rages when he is anxious/upset about something, and then there are the rages when he seems to be mocking/ taunting, just to get a reaction.

    Well, M eventually got him into the restaurant but it probably took 20 minutes and M got kicked hard enough to hurt him for his efforts. Once he got inside he was fine, the easy child that I see more and more often.

    We should have just given up when he started to act out before we left. Its frustrating, though, to have your life dictated to you by a 6 YO and his whims. This is something that M and I and easy child T and S and even difficult child D look forward to every week. Its the only family time we get, ever, with the way M works (7 AM til 8 or 9 PM Mon through Sat, usually 9-5 on Sundays Some Sundays he only has to work 12-5 but that is only in the summer and early fall, and this was the last Sunday that is an option until next April sigh)

    I can understand the anxiety stuff... I used to have panic attacks, I know how scary anxiety can be. The out right defiance, when he is mocking and laughing and taunting us.... that I have a harder time dealing with.

    He has counseling with is regular therapist Wednesday afternoon, the case manager from Behavioral Health will be here Wednesday AM to meet with me before she meets with the whole family the following week, and his appointment with the psychiatrist is Thursday.

    I'm taking the kids to the bus and crawling back in bed for the day. I still haven't gotten the insurance OK on the Cymbalta, so I'm not on anything yet. The only thing I needed to do today was go grocery shopping and that isn't a "have to " kind of thing yet. Bed sounds like a much better option right now, so that is where I"m headed once I get them on the bus.

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. It is hard when a young child seems to dictate what you can do as a famly. I encourage you to read Love and Logic Parenting, and Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. They ahve some great ways to handle things.

    I am sorry M got hurt.
  3. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    I'm sorry things did not go great for you Jan. I think you deserve a few extra minutes to yourself this morning. We all need that sometimes.

    I would also make sure to document as much as you can remember EXACTLY and let the doctors take a look at the event. Maybe they have a bit more professional insight and can suggest if this is strictly behavorial(doing it to see what will happen) or in relation to something else.

    Best wishes for a better day today!