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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 173780" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you get frustrated, it's important to try to maintain some degree of seeing the world from his point of view. He may not understand why you are angry, and wonder what he's done NOW to upset you.</p><p></p><p>I've found that maintaining my cool as much as possible is really important; we make much better progress that way. Of course I can still express concern or dissatisfaction, but I do it in a way that he can use constructively.</p><p></p><p>For example - he has a History assignment that was due two weeks ago, a week before holidays began (we have two weeks' holiday). It is such a simply thing - all he has to do is write about 500 words about a very easy topic. But he has sat in front of the computer, logging on to his school website (which he can access in the holidays) and "researching" through the various websites on the topic (which he could have memorised by now!) I keep telling him, "Do a mind map," and he refuses because he says it will take up even more of his precious time to do so.</p><p></p><p>I finally said to him after he called it quits yesterday, "You've done it your way long enough. Tomorrow morning, we will begin by doing it my way - you will do a mind map. I will help you if you like, but it must be done. I expect that once you have a mind map, you can get the essay done in less than half an hour."</p><p></p><p>He has a reward incentive to get this completed, as well as knowing that if he doesn't get it done before the end of the holidays (next week) he risks failing, in a subject where he has been scoring very high.</p><p></p><p>While I am VERY frustrated with him, I want him to learn some new techniques out of tis, including how to RAPIDLY cut trough the mind blocks with a mind map. But he HAS to see this for himself, because next year he will have formal exams in a school hall and I won't be there to remind him, "Mind map!"</p><p></p><p>For anyone with ADHD or problems with recall, or problems in valuing each piece of information available, a mind map is a fast ,effective way to write essays (or do a lot of things - you can do them like flow charts, too).</p><p></p><p>I know that if I start really expressing how I feel and yell at him, NOTHING will get done, for days (if ever).</p><p></p><p>Relieving a second of my frustration is just not worth the months of setback that can follow.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 173780, member: 1991"] If you get frustrated, it's important to try to maintain some degree of seeing the world from his point of view. He may not understand why you are angry, and wonder what he's done NOW to upset you. I've found that maintaining my cool as much as possible is really important; we make much better progress that way. Of course I can still express concern or dissatisfaction, but I do it in a way that he can use constructively. For example - he has a History assignment that was due two weeks ago, a week before holidays began (we have two weeks' holiday). It is such a simply thing - all he has to do is write about 500 words about a very easy topic. But he has sat in front of the computer, logging on to his school website (which he can access in the holidays) and "researching" through the various websites on the topic (which he could have memorised by now!) I keep telling him, "Do a mind map," and he refuses because he says it will take up even more of his precious time to do so. I finally said to him after he called it quits yesterday, "You've done it your way long enough. Tomorrow morning, we will begin by doing it my way - you will do a mind map. I will help you if you like, but it must be done. I expect that once you have a mind map, you can get the essay done in less than half an hour." He has a reward incentive to get this completed, as well as knowing that if he doesn't get it done before the end of the holidays (next week) he risks failing, in a subject where he has been scoring very high. While I am VERY frustrated with him, I want him to learn some new techniques out of tis, including how to RAPIDLY cut trough the mind blocks with a mind map. But he HAS to see this for himself, because next year he will have formal exams in a school hall and I won't be there to remind him, "Mind map!" For anyone with ADHD or problems with recall, or problems in valuing each piece of information available, a mind map is a fast ,effective way to write essays (or do a lot of things - you can do them like flow charts, too). I know that if I start really expressing how I feel and yell at him, NOTHING will get done, for days (if ever). Relieving a second of my frustration is just not worth the months of setback that can follow. Marg [/QUOTE]
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